I really don't want my son anymore.

[LockwoodJ]

How do I fix this? I don't want him.

Calling OP selfish is quite appalling. She needs support.

Does your son know you feel like this?

Maybe if you didn't play games with your posts you'd be happier with the responses you are getting.

Yep,he needs help and you want rid of him! He's your responsibility.

For what it's worth, my son is severely autistic, he's 17 and he beats the absolute carp out of me when distressed. I'm on my own with him. Do I want rid of him? No, he's my son and he needs help. Him having stability and help is not only my responsibility but more important than the effect his behaviour can have on me.

Talk to someone. Get some support. If you turn your back you'll make your son worse.

Do you want to share more OP?

I'm not playing games, I just didn't know where to start.

Was referred for support, he refuses to go, if support comes to the house, he runs away. There is no way to get support for him.

Well said, TripTrap.
Your son has a fantastic parent

Trip not every parent could cope with being assaulted in their own home

He sounds as though he needs urgent therapeutic input.

Are CAMHS involved? Did the police make any kind of notification or referral?

What have the school suggested?

And as a sibling of a violent person who beat my mum I couldn't live in it, and I know it nearly broke her

You sound at the end of your tether. What does your dh think about the situation? Do you have any family that can help you?

He can't run from SS involvement though. Speak to them, they have seen it all before.

X post.

What was the support he runs away from?

Maybe you are going to have to force someone's hand to get the intensive input it sounds like you all need.

It's possible that a residential placement is what's required, but they are expensive and limited in number, not to mention hard to access.

Have you told the school that you are on your way to collect him?

Do they know he had broken your cheek?

If he is 12 and os sunning away and is assaulting you then social work should be able to help you. Have the police not submitted reports which have gone to SS? I would start with working alongside the school and see what plans they have. They may also refer to SS or involve them in any meetings. Just saying you won’t engage isn’t very helpful.

As crap as it sounds you need to keep turning up to the school talking to the guidance staff, phoning the police if he runs away or assaults you. Eventually you will get a service but it can take time.

If you didn’t have him where would he go?

I can only imagine what you are going through. Try and remember though that you don't hate him you just hate his behaviour.

He needs some sort of intervention and if he doesn't cooperate and is out of control then he may be taken into the care system. Is he aware of this?

I have no answers. Good luck.

DH is ill, he doesn't live at home (wouldn't be able to with the violence) so I call him when I fear my life.

Like I say, all the support doesn't work (as he just runs away/refuses to go to appointments).

Does he have any diagnosed or suspected SN?

Is there any background of traumatic events?

No comment on anyone on the thread but I don't think someone can be classified as a 'fantastic parent' purely on the fact they let their DS beat them up in their own home

I think you are all being let down here, your whole family you clearly need help. Contact social care,school and police and tell them that you aren't coping. You need urgent help.

Your DH is the one who doesn't live with you?

I've told school I'm not coming. So they will just leave him in isolation.

They can't just keep him there indefinitely-you need a better plan than that. In the short term you just need to get him home. You need to urgently speak to social services about how they can help you.

Sorry for the typo. Meant to say ‘is running away’.

OP you are not the first and wont be the last to have to cope with this. You need to cooperate as best you can. If your DS is not cooperating, that will be flagged up and SS will become involved. You can self rear if you want. It might be helpful just to call SS and see what they can offer.

Yes, DH doesn't live at home, he is ill.