Need a bit of cheerleading to help me prep for upcoming encounter with OW

[StreetFighter]

DH had a brief affair eight months ago. We're working on reconciliation.

I have only come into contact with OW once since discovering DH's affair, and I kept a dignified silence, but this week I'll see her again at an event the DC are involved in.

She won't be expecting to see me, so in that sense I have the upper hand, but I'm dreading it to be truthful. While I've definitely indulged in fantasies of burning down her fucking house a vengeful nature, in reality the thought of any sort of confrontation horrifies me. Hopefully there won't be anything of the sort, and I can just blank her, but I'd really appreciate some advice on how to cope with it (what shall I wear?!) and general handholding and cheerleading, if anyone feels able.

"Oh, hi. Sorry, I've just spotted someone I need to speak to over there. Have a great night."

"If she approaches you just comment on her shoes/outfit and say that they really suit her and move on."

Don't think you should do either of these! Don't apologise to her for not wanting to talk to her (or for anything else), and don't compliment her in any way.

I agree with those who suggest you simply say "No" (or indeed say nothing at all) and turn away ... although I do have a friend who was once in this exact situation and said in a very carrying tone (she sounds a bit 'To The Manor Born')
"Dahling. There are 30 people in this room and I'd like to talk to 29 of them. Sadly, you aren't one of the chosen few!"

I also agree don't take DH, but wonder if you have a drop-dead-gorgeous male friend, whose arm you could cling on to all evening! (With DH's full knowledge of course). Leave her wondering!

She does know I know, yes.

She's in a LT relationship with DC.

She'll be expecting DH, not me, as I'm usually working for these events and he usually goes to them.

Remember who you're there for and make sure you smell fabulous

I agree with Dailymail - you have nothing to say to her.

She is nothing to you. A hard l

Sorry im confused, by this comment *
She's in a LT relationship with DC. *...does that mean shes in a long term relationship with one of your children or have i misunderstood the acronym

A hard, withering look will suffice.

I dream of bumping into the OW and giving her the look, but saying nothing.

This whole thing just seems awful and humiliating to me. I'd go for the kids but I would just be myself, in that situation probably very anxious and doing my best to keep focused on the dc. I'd probably want the support of a friend. I'd expect h to put up with my feelings which would be deep anger and resentment that his behaviour had interfered with my ability to just enjoy my children's events and deep sadness at the wound being opened again by it.

Doing myself up and preparing smack downs would just make me feel horrendous and dead inside.

If she tries to speak to you maybe you could do a sweet smile (for anyone who might be looking) and a low menacing voice "I don't think you have ANY right to speak to me, do you"

Does her long term partner know about the affair?

Yes, I need to keep in mind that I'm there for DD - good advice Enrique. So at least there will be one person who will pleased to see me .

Or smile beautifully and say, in a low voice 'what a dreadful cunt you are, hideous excuse for a woman' and float off.

No, her partner doesn't know. I've no intention of telling him. He's already been collateral damage for DH and for her. I'm not joint them on that game.

Sorry, hadn't rtft she sounds like a cunt though, whatever she looks like.

Offred - yes, this is dreadful and I hate it. But I can't just be myself, my stress levels are through the roof about it, so I need to have some strategies to get through it.

I think 'no' is very good. If you have to say anything at all.

Her thing about sitting next to you would weird me right out though. Sit with someone on one side and put your bag on the chair on the other side? (And if she does approach and ask you to move it... 'No')

FWIW you sound very together and she's obviously a massive twit

Could you take a mate with you? If only so you don't have to sit next to her and have some moral support. I think her sitting next to you at the last such event absolutely beggars belief, btw. What on earth is she playing at? I totally agree with stripeymonkey re the betrayal of you being down to your husband and not her but she sounds downright unhinged. Wtf does she hope to gain, I wonder? I'd definitely twist the arm of a good friend to come with me.

pregnantat50, good grief, no she's not in a LTR with my DC! My life may be a mess right now but it's not quite decended into Jeremy Kyle territory! I meant that she is in a LTR with a man she shares DC with.

Shes not going to speak to you and will most likely be hugely embarrassed if she sees you. I doubt there will be any need for communication.

Just make yourself feel good and ignore her

I've only told my closest friend and she's working abroad next week or else I'd ask her to come. I don't think I could really ask anyone else.

Why the vitriol for this woman. The OPs DH broke his marriage vows.

I honestly would not go. I couldnt face it.

It doesnt matter what you wear. She will still be able to look at you and say so what you look good, your husband still fucked me. That is why I couldnt go.

thank god for that..xx

Do you have anyone (not your husband) that you could take along for moral support - mum, friend, sister ? Would it make sense for a proud grandma / auntie to be at the event ?