Need a bit of cheerleading to help me prep for upcoming encounter with OW

[StreetFighter]

DH had a brief affair eight months ago. We're working on reconciliation.

I have only come into contact with OW once since discovering DH's affair, and I kept a dignified silence, but this week I'll see her again at an event the DC are involved in.

She won't be expecting to see me, so in that sense I have the upper hand, but I'm dreading it to be truthful. While I've definitely indulged in fantasies of burning down her fucking house a vengeful nature, in reality the thought of any sort of confrontation horrifies me. Hopefully there won't be anything of the sort, and I can just blank her, but I'd really appreciate some advice on how to cope with it (what shall I wear?!) and general handholding and cheerleading, if anyone feels able.

Op, if you are still reading, take Lying 's advice. Good luck.

If you want to look like you don't care, you need to act like you don't care and fake it until you make it. Long after I stopped caring about XH and OW I ran into them in town and without any thought I just said hello to her with a small smile and a nod as I would casually acknowledging the new partner of any acquaintance for the first time. I didn't know I was going to see her but I wouldn't have got dressed up if I had because I actually don't care. They are both water long under the bridge.

One of the worst threads I've ever seen on mumsnet. People are entitled to disagree with the OP's decisions but a thread where she is seeking support is not really the place to discuss, and much of the way it was done was bullying IMHO.

OP best of luck to you! You've has some great advice and you sound a lovely, level headed woman.

Yes I agree. Lot of misplaced anger.

I'd get pissed and call them both awful names, tbh. Wouldn't want or plan to do it but I am pretty sure that's what would happen. I don't think I'd want to keep dh if he'd been snagging around anyway, but if I did not way could I be all calm and grown up about it.

OP
You know the best thing you can go in there wearing? A smile!
Have your held up high and be yourself, you've done nothing wrong.

Ooh thank you. Will have a look...

Oops
Sorry
Wrong thread

Hope it went smoothly op

Just popping in to say thank you to everyone who took the time to offer me support and advice - it was very much appreciated.

The show took place without incident: OW kept her distance and I was able to enjoy DD's performance. DH collected us and that was fine too (well, fine as it could have been given the circumstances!).

Very relieved that it's over, and hoping that next time won't be so stressful. Thank you again for your kindness x

So glad you're over that first hurdle StreetFighter - good work :)

Well done Streetfighter. As the saying goes the ultimate revenge is living well so continue to do this and you'll be fine.

Well done for facing it Streetfighter

Hurray!

Lyinwitch, that was a lovely post, thank you for putting that perspective forward. I'll be in a similar position to the OP soon and you've helped me.

Well done OP, you sound ace.

Bn

Glad to hear it, StreetFighter. Congratulations on clearing a big hurdle. Onwards with your head held high!

Only read OP, so sorry if I repeat stuff, but my suggestions would be get dressed up (not overdressed though), have your hair done, if she comes over just pretend you've forgotten her name or get it wrong and don't engage with her. Be polite, but busy, and make excuses that you need to speak to someone else or something. Keep your head held high.

Bloody bravo, Fighter

Good on you OP.

One significant hurdle cleared - well done!

I agree with lyingwitch - OW may well be smarting herself and it's best to politely avoid her.

Personally I would want H to go with me or at least to pick me up - not for any daft reason such as presenting a united front or PDAs but because he needs to support you at such a time.

When I was in your position OW and I never met after dday - we passed each other once in school when H and I were seeing DS1 off on a trip to the States for 10 days. I was quite shocked to see her I must admit but most of my mind was on the fact that I wasn't going to see my PFB for 10 days . Concentrate on your child and forget OW. I doubt she will want to approach you (OW in my case almost ran past me) and if she does, polite indifference is the key.

Ignore some of the people on here who can't get past the fact that you are trying to reconcile and just appear to want to hurt you more.

Good luck

See I was bit late

Well done op. One beast slain!