Feeling a little bit down in the dumps about my lack of a love life...

[pinkmusicstand]

I'm a 35 year old single mum to a five year old DD. Split up with her dad when I found out I was pregnant however it was all a bit complicated as we had occasional 'reunions' until she was about a year old and I said enough and finally cut it all off.

Ex is now happily coupled up with a new girlfriend, which I'm totally OK about. No feelings between us anymore, so not at all complicated.

I've had a couple of short term relationships since then, lasting no more than 6 months.

I find it difficult to meet new men. I've tried OLD but haven't got anywhere with it. Most of the men I meet in RL are married/coupled up. I have had lots of crushes on men, even if they are single I don't think they even know I exist. I am unbelievably horny all of the time.

I just don't think it's going to happen for me. I don't think I'll ever meet someone nice. The type of guys who do express interest are usually weirdos/creeps/in relationships. Am dismayed why I attract these types and not a normal, nice single guy.

I never get asked out. I think I'm OK looking, am reasonably intellegent (have a degree and currently doing an MA), kind, caring etc. I think I'm a nice person. I just don't seem to be able to meet someone who thinks the same.

Don't really know why I'm posting, I guess just to get it off my chest. Feeling a bit down about it all at the moment. This idea that I will be left on the shelf for ever.

Whoa, you're really posh littletrip, but YES, would love to share with you.
Journalling is really hard, I find it far too painful. Good on you though.

Given up trying to read, kids keep interrupting me wanting stuff, think I'll climb on the shelf with another drink . Always find Saturday night's the worst as tv is rubbish and the kids are usually self absorbed!

Hurrah, both kids are in. Time to open another. What are you drinking roverman?
Why don't they put soemthing decent on a Saturday night? Just another reminder that the rest of the world is out enjoying themselves.

I agree that tv is rubbish on Saturday night.

I'm spoilt for choice with Halloween horrors tonight though!

Not that it's much cop, but Haunter is spooking me a bit.

Oh and haha, not posh in the slightest!

Oh and also agree that Saturday nights are the worst

Have a bottle of cider at the moment . Can't do horror films . Always find school holidays and Saturdays the loneliest times.

Right I am on the source, I think I need it after having a little wobble. Roll on Sat night for one + cat.

LittleTripToHeaven stick some garlic cloves in, drizzle with olive oil and bung in the oven still soft and gooey. Now we're talking

I am a real wuss and can't watch horror.
Exh has just been round, he is scary enough!
Am now feeling really down again. He is a stereotypical abuser and goes round the abusive cycle like clockwork. At the moment we are at Mr Nice Guy, I find this the hardest, it never lasts and after 25 years I know for certain it won't, but it still messes with my head.

I love the sound of roasted garlic, crusty bread, brie and beer/cider. That's enough to take my mind off my problems. As you can tell, i'm very easily pleased.

Why can't you do horrors, Roverman?

Have to say this one is spooking me a bit! !

I've never been able to do horrors ,I'm more of a sci-fi ,action , comedy person , all this talk of food is making me hungry,

Guess I'm lucky never been in an abusive relationship, just seem to find , lieing, cheating one's!

1DAD, I like brie as it comes, but with the red onion marmalade. I do that with the garlic and olive oil when I bake a Camembert.

Do love a baked Camembert...

Not big on Sci Fi myself. Although Chronicle is on E4/E4+1 at the moment. I thought that was pretty good when I saw it.

I quite like Star trek, but not the films. Do like a bit of DS9.

It's hard isn't it, FunnyLady? My exh was emotionally and financially abusive. My mother was emotionally abusive, so I guess history just repeats itself.

Even when you know what is going to happen and how the cycle is going to go, you can't help but hope that this time they won't follow it...

Someone once told me, it's the hope, not the despair that's worse, and it's true. I no longer have any hope that he will change, but the kids do and it breaks my heart to see how happy they are during the good times, and although they don't say it, I know they think I should take him back.
Then we get the bad bits, and I pick the pieces up.
Even though we are divorced and have no financial ties, I will not be free of the cycle until the kids are adults. There are times when I wonder if it would have been better to have stayed and put up with it as it is still so difficult.

Not really a star trek fan.
I read so many stories on here which I am always shocked by, the way people treat people they are supposed to love , I find difficult to understand .
I'm lucky I have never had to deal with things like that.

Sound like you have had your fair share of rubbish though roverman.
Do you still have ties with your ex, littletrip?

I do still have ties, yes. He's civil enough and he thinks we all buy the Nice Guy act. Our son doesn't, though, he's already told me what he really thinks of him.

He can be reasonable, but it's a choice. As soon as he feels that his authority is being challenged, he turns pretty nasty. He's manipulative and emotionally blackmails the children.

But while we all toe the line, we appear to have a good working relationship. We're not divorced yet. He's already said things about the divorce that have shown me he'll turn nasty as soon as it doesn't go his way. So I'm kicking that can down the road until I feel strong enough to face it

Have not had an easy life I'll admit ,I try not to let it get to me, but it does sometimes, is the loneliness and lack of adult conversation that get to me most.

Littletrip sounds like a nightmare if I'm honest , you seem able to deal with it , even if he is an arse.
At least I never have to deal with my ex ever , probably for the best as I wouldn't be very nice to her.

He sounds like he's cut from the same cloth. I somehow managed to find the strength to sort the divorce out and financial settlement very quickly. He would not participate or instruct a solicitor so it was really hard. Looking back, I don't know how I did it, but I think I knew if I didn't do it quickly I would lose the short timespan of strength I had.
Agree roverman, it's the lack of adult conversation and having someone on your team that is hard. Some days I feel the burden is too great, financially and emotionally. But on the whole life is much better than before. Just need to keep reminding myself of that

I promise we aren't all like that, some of us are nice ,it's just showing people when nobody seems interested. I will say in some ways life is ok , but when you have no family it's a very lonely life . If it wasn't for the c word I might have some family to help. Just have to think there is someone out there ,but the longer I'm on my own the less I feel it will happen.

I have no family either, for different reasons (long story) but totally empathise with you.
I can't believe you won't find someone. Judging by the amount of people with dating profiles, there are loads of singles in our age group. I guess it's like looking for a new job; you just need that opportunity to show what a great man you are, but need to get to interview stage first.
I will not be doing OLD, don't think my heart is tough enough, but will enjoy following your journey.

I may or may not carry on doing OLD . I am pretty busy until Xmas so I may wait until after then.
You should have a go , you may not find it to difficult , guess it depends where you are ! Have to admit I don't like essex people that much (no offence if you're in essex),not as nice as where I'm from in Hampshire. Can't afford to move back ,will have to make the best of it.