Feeling a little bit down in the dumps about my lack of a love life...

[pinkmusicstand]

I'm a 35 year old single mum to a five year old DD. Split up with her dad when I found out I was pregnant however it was all a bit complicated as we had occasional 'reunions' until she was about a year old and I said enough and finally cut it all off.

Ex is now happily coupled up with a new girlfriend, which I'm totally OK about. No feelings between us anymore, so not at all complicated.

I've had a couple of short term relationships since then, lasting no more than 6 months.

I find it difficult to meet new men. I've tried OLD but haven't got anywhere with it. Most of the men I meet in RL are married/coupled up. I have had lots of crushes on men, even if they are single I don't think they even know I exist. I am unbelievably horny all of the time.

I just don't think it's going to happen for me. I don't think I'll ever meet someone nice. The type of guys who do express interest are usually weirdos/creeps/in relationships. Am dismayed why I attract these types and not a normal, nice single guy.

I never get asked out. I think I'm OK looking, am reasonably intellegent (have a degree and currently doing an MA), kind, caring etc. I think I'm a nice person. I just don't seem to be able to meet someone who thinks the same.

Don't really know why I'm posting, I guess just to get it off my chest. Feeling a bit down about it all at the moment. This idea that I will be left on the shelf for ever.

Looks like I'm like you I have no way of telling who's,right or wrong for me . No idea how to work it out , I realized the other day that from 18 I've been on my own for longer than all my relationship s put together . Feel quite sad about that really,looks like it's going to be lot longer too. Anyone got a strong drink? Lol!

If its any consolation, I was with my exh for more of my life than I wasn't and 80 per cent of that time was hell. Would recommend being single over that any day.
I feel like I have reached middle age without ever being truly loved.
I'll have a swig of that drink too!

I know how it feels to think you've never been truly loved , maybe something i will have to live with. Run out of drinks now,so off to bed

I guess we need to remember, actually we are loved-by our kids and musn't lose sight of that.
Back to school and work today-yuck!

Anyone on the shelf tonight ?

Still running around, will be back later - how's your day been Roverman? Any more interest on pof?
Hope everyone else up on the shelf is okay?

Funnylady days been ok ,pretty busy today ,like the rest of the week , had a couple of meet me request s on pof but both were over 100 miles away ! Had a couple of people look at my profile ,haven't got time in the next couple of weeks to date anyway ! Guess it's a bit more positive .

That sounds positive. Long distance is probably not an option with your busy load.
Realising myself that life is so hectic, I don't think I could cope with the added pressure of dating, maybe it's just not the right time yet.

I'm beginning to feel the same at the moment ,life is busy until after Xmas ,but things do seem a bit more positive.

Right. Explain online dating. I don't like the sound of it AT ALL. What if there are guys in the same town as me? Does that not become akward? How much info do I need to give? I've never been in a relationship where I wasn't friends with the guy first, so I'm not so sure this would work for me. Should I just chance it? (eeeeeeeekkkkk)

It's very quiet on the shelf tonight. Hopefully that means everyone is busy and filling their time well.
Weekdays are crazy for me too, but it was nice to have the company over the weekend.
Glad you are feeling a bit more positive roverman.

Hi, it shouldhavebeenjess, I don't like the sound of it either, but others have positive stories. Know what you mean about locals, I would feel awkward if anyone I knew recognised my profile, but think we need to accept that OLD is the way it is done now. I also feel that it would be extremely hard to meet soemone for the first time on a date, there's no gradual lead up.
Sure others will be along to give you some good advice soon.

I'm here comfy slippers and wine. Can I ask what dating sites/ chat rooms you all use? Fed up with married men telling me they are looking for fun. And then they don't seem to understand when your not interested!!!

funny - exactly! The thought of going on a date with someone I'd never met in real life before terrifies me! I don't drink any more, so I wouldn't even be able to have a little Dutch courage!

chocolate. Yeah, I've had a couple of married men in RL come on to me once they knew I was single. Charming. One was twisting his wedding ring while he was offering to 'keep me company' one evening. I'm not sure whether it was a way of letting me know he was married, or some Freudian tic! I politely declined....

I'm 43 and have 2 teenagers and have been single for around 2 years (divorced now for around 4 years)

I'm not on any dating websites - am giving myself till December for something naturally to happen then I will start looking

I work full time, I travel for my job, I'm very independent but I also do miss having someone special to share things with. I miss having someone in bed with me and just to chat to in the evening.

It is hard, very hard. Most of the men interested in me are in their late to mid 50s. The men I know who are single at my age (and I only know 1 or 2) want women 10 years younger and in some cases, still want a family (and I feel I'm too old and am not interested in that any more).

The problem is that if you think that a woman in their mid 40s can only attract a man in their 50s upwards, it completely narrows the pool especially if men our age are looking at the age range from around late 20s upwards. It is a bit of a numbers disaster!

Is there anyone around to keep me company on the shelf ,as have had a lousy start to the evening !

I'm half here and half trying to do a bit of writing, roverman (but looking for excuses not to do the latter!) What's gone wrong this evening?

What's up roverman?

I've just been accused of doing something I have no knowledge of by an ex and she won't believe me and I can't get through to her I haven't done it ,just feeling passed off

Hi all,
Sorry to hear you are having a bad evening. Can you just block her or stop taking calls or texts?
Whatever it is, if you know it is untrue, I would just ignore. Is it the same one that was texting you a couple of days ago?.

Yes, block or delete. Sorry you're having a rough time, you know the truth; she probably just wants a reaction - any attention is better than none, and all that jazz.

Zebra, your story sounds similar to so many others, life on the shelf looks like the better option. We can chat with others on the shelf in the evenings, seems a bit safer!

funny. See, I worry that I'm developing an "It's safer to be single" mindset. My ex and I are both 41 and he had an affair with a twenty five year old. While he was always a bit of a tool in other ways, he's the last guy on earth I would have imagined doing this. I also tend to get older guys showing an interest.

It's really tough. My little boy has ASD and I'm not sure I'm keen on the idea of meeting a man with kids who wants to do the whole step family thing. I also know I don't want any more children. But guys my age who don't have or don't want children equally don't want to be a step-parent to someone else's child, which is perfectly reasonable. I'm also not sure I'd want to live with someone again - have kind of got used to my own space now!

It's the same one but I think she may have been drinking !

Can I join you all on the shelf? I have a 7 yr old daughter, separated when she was 18 months (divorced last year). Aside from 2 short (7/8 month) relationships I've been single most of the time. I've just stopped dating for the next 3 months because I have had such an incredibly shit time of it. Honestly I am some sort of weirdo/twat magnet. So I'm taking a step back. But that just makes me feel even lonelier & crap about myself.