Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

pringle I have given out my real number and to be honest not had any bother only had to block 1 or 2 out of the very many.

I'm so happy for you mrsfluff!

That's so exciting

Have you arranged another date yet?

Pringle I always give my number out too; I was wary to begin with but as curly says you can always block them.

Oh my god. mrsfluff. Isn't kissing just amazing?? After nearly 20 years of bad but not awful marriage to a bad kisser, I'm in heaven.

Thanks Tess, he's gonna make plans to be back this way with work, hopefully soon!!

UpYer- OMG, this is the best kissing I've had in ages. I really love a good snog!! And when he started on my neck

That's great mrsfluff
All this talk of kissing though....I'm going on date 3 with Mr Beard tomorrow and so far nothing has happened. First and second dates were coffee then lunch in town, so v public etc and felt v awkward saying goodbye.
Tomorrow we're meeting to go for a walk & taking my dog...a little less public; not sure if/when to expect a kiss, I'm guessing as its date 3 I'm not repelling him?!?
We're meeting quite near where I live, not sure if I should ask him back after, or what to do...
Help!!!

Mrsfluff So glad you had a lovely time. This is the fun part, enjoy it for as long as possible!

Hyggeligt Wouldn't asking him back imply something? And if he hasn't made any moves whatsoever, wouldn't that be a step too far for him at this stage?

Date 3... I don't see why you shouldn't expect a kiss on date 3. If you're walking your dog and it's therefore a bit more private, he might feel less awkward too. I would definitely engineer an opportunity - you know, leaning a bit too close, that kind of thing.

Can I ask, how much effort do you all put into a first date? Will text tomorrow to arrange the time and I'm wondering if I need to allow time to nip to the hairdressers. I've been warned that making too much of an effort at the beginning sets impossible standards to follow... Thoughts? I'm very average looking but do scrub up well - you can definitely tell the difference between me on a CBA day and me when I've really tried.

I'm starting to look forward to this a little.

Yippee, Mrsfluff.:) Excellent news. I would really love a tingly snog with someone hot.

No irons for me either at the moment, Tess, despite lots of work trying to find some and heat them up! Am trying to train myself to flirt better using wikihow and had a slightly steamy eye-contact episode whilst practising with a nice looking man in my local cafe this morning. I was too embarrassed to talk to him, let alone give him my number though, especially with my youngest there. How do I get over this terrible inhibition?

Yes, maybe lean in a bit, hygge?

Hi Pringle. I'd definitely get your hair done if it'll make you feel good and confident. I think the key is to dress/groom at least as much if not more for your own confidence rather than because you want to pull per se. Then if you like the look of him you'll be looking and feeling great, which can only help all round.

But do be aware that meeting for the first time can be a pitfall point, sadly! I've worn stuff that is (intended to be!) understatedly and casually attractive rather than full on sexy to dates and I've been v glad as I haven't really clicked with any of the men I've met so far. It's probably easier to turn off the come-hither vibe you may have had during the messaging process if the man doesn't do it for you in person when you're not totally dolled up to the nines. Hope that won't be an issue and you will have a great time!

sumoweeble I personally don't think I can do come hither... My default expression is "leave me alone, you creep".

I guess at least if this date goes pear-shaped, at least it's a story to make you lot giggle. Staying positive. It's either going to be a good date or a good story.

I am re-reading rules 3 and 4 from the thread...

I think smart-casual is the way to go for first dates. Venue: coffees in a bar. Contact: zero. 2nd date venue: G&Ts in a posh bar, allowed for dressing up which was fun. Best date ever. 5 hours flew. Contact: snogs and would totally have gone to bed with him but exercised unprecedented self-control. Good move from me I think.
Third date, say no more...

I think I'd go to the hairdressers pringle, it's a confidence boost if you feel good. Although I also agree with sum about not going OTT, I've done that before - bodycon dress, heels, the lot - and there was absolutely zero chemistry. I felt like I'd come across a bit desperate by pulling out all the stops. Lesson learned!

I could do with some decent kissing now, felt like my ex FWB was trying to eat me. I want gentle and tender and neck-nibbling too!

Catching up on the thread!
mrs fluff yaaaay for a great date! It's so exciting at the beginning but. First kisses is bloody lush. Well it is unless they are awful at it

hygge I would definately be expecting a kiss on date 3! Your after a boyfriend not a penpal. I'd try to be flirty and make lots of physical contact, so put your hand on his arm or shoulder, walk closely, and eye contact too.
Hope it happens for you! Slow burn is exciting though

pringle if it gives you more confidence and makes you feel good about yourself on your date do it. I have also been guilty of going all out for a first date then felt stupid when there was zero chemistry. I came home thinking, well THAT was a waste of make up!

So does anyone remember the copper I was dating a few weeks aso, the one who had a 5+ date rule? We had 6 dates, really good ones and things got steamy over whatsapp but in person no sex or opportunity to do so. We fell out after the last date as I felt like he was stringing me along and backing out of any intimacy. We went out to dinner and he implied stuff so I thought maybe we would go back to his after but instead he dropped me home at 11 and I was a little flouncy! Cut a long story short we then argued over whatsapp and both of us were quite stroppy and rude to each other
We havnt spoken for a couple of weeks but I stupidly drunk text him, as you do and now we're back in hesitant contact again.
So he asked me for coffee tomorrow afternoon to talk about things and see if we could be friends or something more. I must be mad agreeing but I can't help be curious and see what he has to say, also he was the best kisser ever and I've missed that! BUT he's such a man child I know it's going nowhere fast so I'm cross with myself for getting suckered in and having no will power or common sense!

Thanks everyone - I do miss snogging and this was the loveliest yet!

Hygge - I would definitely want a kiss on date 3, I'd want to see if there was a spark there, before I invested more time and emotion. I wouldn't iinvite him back, but I would be a little bit tactile and see what his response is.

Pringle - first date for me would be nice jeans/nice top, tidy hair and a bit of make up. So i look like me, but a very presentable version.

Sumo - I think I'm naturally flirty, with men and women, lol! I'm a very touchy feely sort, with colleagues, friends and family. So, if I like a date I will be making eye contact, touching their arm and probanbprobanbly flashing some cleavage

lastnick - I remember the copper and I'd probably give him another chance......but that might not be very reassuring lol!!

Is dating fatigue a thing ? I'm meant to see somebody tonight and god I can't be arsed. He's been texting all morning, how excited he his, he hadn't been paid do he's only got £50 but it should be ok to get us through the night, I'm sat here thinking I couldn't be less interested. The thought of getting dolled up for another disappointment. But then I think if you don't get out there it's never going to coming knocking on my door it is.

Pisssssedofff To be fair, it doesn't sound like the dates you've been lining up have been very appealing. Maybe time to cast your net again?

Right I have confirmed my first first date! Ahhhh! Monday it is.

Pisssssed - I think it can be a thing; if they're not going well, then it's hard not to feel despondent. However, it sounds like he's keen, as I am assuming you were when you agreed? So, go, make the most of it and have some fun! If you stay home, how will you feel?

Ooh Pringle - exciting!!

I am bored! Daughter away all weekend and I have no plans This is where fancying someone who is 2 hours away, is a bit of a pain!

Hello.
Setting off in a bit-thanks for all your replies; I will be more tactile--it's not a warm day so may have to get closer
I'm thinking he's just being gentlemanly...if nothing happens today then I may get back onto messaging someone else, as you said mrsfluff it's time/emotion...
Yay pringlecat!!
I have been making an effort for dates but I have enjoyed doing it for me, I've had fun thinking about outfits and makeup/how I look that I haven't done for a while. I've also joined the low carb bootcamp on here as everything is a little 'snug'!
lastnickname hope the coffee goes well.

That sounds like a good way to be, fluff. I'm usually confident and warm with friends, family and people I know/like already but I'm struggling with the how to approach a stranger who looks attractive thing. I've realised that, for someone who thinks of herself as reasonably confident, I'm surprisingly chicken about moving from that eye contact, smile, look down, look up to see if he's still looking dance to actual talking /offering my number etc. I need to have more of a devil may care give it a go attitude. I'm sure practice is the answer! Maybe we should all go out on the pull one night and train each other up?!

Fingers crossed for you Hygge!

The funny thing is sumo, that I'm not an overly confident person. I am becoming more so, especially since I started OLD. Yes, I think we'd all make fab 'wingmen' on a night out

Trying to catch up on this thread, it moves so fast!

Mrsfluff glad your date went well, I agree you cant beat a good snogging. I hope Hygge experiences some this afternoon

Pringle - good luck for Monday!

Pisssed - I know what you mean but then I have adopted the motto "if you don't go you'll never know" since I've been OLD.

I haven't been online this week as my main iron, Mr Interesting, is still away. What should have been 4-5 days has turned into 2 weeks. But...while not as brave as Mrsfluff's phone sex we were "sexting" for hours last night. There's no way that our next date will involve anything other than moose burgers!

Fantastic news MrsFluff , so pleased for you. Kissing/snogging is so hot!

Moose burgers ? Is this a new thing omg I'm so old.
Right I'm going clubbing if it's awful I can always drive home. Other Blokey text me at 8am, I replied at lunchtime, nothing since. You know when you think right we're playing that game are we ? Tempted to do a Kate Middleton and text him loads of photos of me having fun 😜

Ah Forms, we started with sexting........then moved on to phone sex. Both are hot IMHO. Get and arrange that next date!!!

Thanks Curly.

Pissed - mooseburgers is sex, I can't remember why?!? Enjoy your night out x

Favourite types of photo's on dating sites.

I'm not so sure about my order of preference, all additions welcome :)

1. Wedding photo's with the wife cropped out
2. Naked in bed with a pet on your head (I can't believe there are actually multiple examples of this in the small dating pool in which I live)
3. Photo's clearly scanned in which a picture quality and dress sense demonstrating that they're at least 20 years old
4. Photo of yourself on a BNP march (oh yes, indeedy, there really was..)

Any additions?

I'm having fun...

BaklavaBalaclava Wow. Still at least if someone posts 4, you know not to waste any time on them!