Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Me and mine are having mild dirty chat about him sneaking on to my work xmas party and hiding under the table

mrsfluff and myuser sounds like neither of you will be on this thread much longer.,, you're out of OLD territory!

Confession time...after my post late last night when I got in from my fab date with Mr Nuclear he and I continued to text, so much so that he got a taxi to mine at 1.30am so moose burgers were served three times by 9am! I've led a v sheltered rubbish sexless marriage life but goodness me, I had no idea 47 year olds had so much stamina!!

Haha well done you!
The distance is killing us a little bit. I think long term it won't work cos of it. He's over an hour away and we only get one night a week to spend together so I haven't seen my friends and nor has he. We have our kids at all clashing times. He said today it was a shame he couldn't come over but I have teens so that wouldn't work - I said quite clearly they don't know you. I don't want to introduce too soon either
So watch this space it could still fizzle out!

Evil I would be a wreck if that was me. I know what everyone says about them not being good enough and treating us badly but you can't help who you love. Sending you hugs xx

forme go you! That's fab, sounds like he was great at mooseburgers too

evil poor you! It's easy to say why do you love the bastard, snap out of it but that's not how it works is it!? We've all been there having feeling for someone where it's either not reciprocated or there's been a break up and it hurts. So sorry you are sad and hurting. He didn't reply to your card I guess? I do think then you've given it your best shot and he's not coming back lovely. Please try to go no contact again and heal

mrsfluff you are definately heading into relationship territory with mr31! I'm interested to see where this one goes as he's clearly super keen

myuser that does sound tough. Once a week is fine for now and the near future but long term distance, kids, lack of time and opportunities could indeed be a problem. Just go with the flow while trying to remain realistic. Not easy I know! Give it a few months then maybe have a talk with him about where you both see it going? If you both want it, there always a way around these things!

So I have a first date tonight but I'm not feeling it! It's the newbie iron from tinder who hasn't been on any dates yet. To call him Mr keen is an understatement and it's bit offputting. Remember when you first started out and were not jaded and had completely unrealistic expectations? He thinks because we like each other's photos and get on over message that's it we'll meet fall in love and this is his happy ending.
I've told him to wait and see, I've explained I've met people before who I've got on with over whatsapp etc but in real life so spark so I've done my best to manage expectations but he's having none of it. Puppy dog behaviour is not attractive and I'm finding it a bit of a turn off plus I feel really pressured now!! I'm meeting him at 7.30 but honestly not looking forward to it...

Then I have my second iron mrunsuitable who I spent 13 hours yesterday chatting to back and forth after matching in the morning, he's amazing to talk to and comes across as interesting and intelligent. I'm wishing my date was with him! Gah

The person I've been chatting to told me his surname so I decided to have a quick nosey on Facebook. His cover photo was of him and his friends which I assumed was taken about 10 years ago because they look like teenagers. He looks unrecognisable from the close ups he has on tinder and I'm gutted! He looks a bit chavvy and laddish

I'll be blunt and bite if you know you're a 5 or a 6 don't message girls who are a 9 or a 10. The number of messages I get from guys who clearly would not chat me up in real life because they know they'd get nowhere is astounding tbh. Harsh but if we don't fancy you it's no good for either party is it ?

You're obviously messaging girls that aren't interested in you or you'd get a response. The problem with online dating is it's fairly brutal, They don't know if you're a nice man with a kind heart etc, it's purely based on looks

Ha! I agree with Pissssedddoffff DaddyPig sorry - online dating is harsh and does tend to go on looks.

you have to sell your personality (but get some great photos done too).

heck Kent Lad who I saw a few years back was no male Adonis to say the least but he had swagger, confidence and talked the talk and walked the walk.

no not saying if you're not good looking you don't stand a chance on OLD just you need to try harder eg if you're average.

Basically jump through hoops? Then meet up and be told there's 'no spark'. Boy you women have cornered this market. Sit back and let us guys perform like monkeys for your attention. Then just pick the tall hottie anyway. Think I'll just stick to porn.

Advice please...new to OLD following LTR.

Been chatting to a guy for 3 weeks on . whatsapp after meeting on tinder. He lives 2.5 hours away but was prepared to come visit me etc. Seemed keen during our convos and we seemed on the same page. I broke the rules and prob over invested emotionally. During our pre date chats we laughed, shared infoabout ourselves. He was undeterred by my psycho ex and 2 dcs. Or the distance. He told me that his friends had noticed how happy he seemed.

Fast forward date 1 yesterday. Originally this was intended to be a dinner and he was staying at the hotel.

Long story short. Got on great during meal then I Served up mooseburgers. It was good. Felt right and what we both wanted. Afterwards we went to a movie...he waa called away then (he was on call) . I bought him a coffee he had vaguely referred to date 2 (after sex) smooched goodbye.

So I whatsapp. 12 hours later no reply. This may be because he was having to go back for a night shift as I can see he's not been on BUT I thought he couldve still texted to say he'd got home safe. Wtf?

No wonder you cant get any dates daddy pig. Misogynistic arsehole. There's a reason why i put some context into the story and he knew where I waa at. Oh and for the record I've only slept with one other person in 11 years so excuse me if I got carried away. Go back to getting blocked on POF. This is a support thread.

daddy have you changed your picture? I always find that helps. I always look at what situation the picture is taken who is in it ect.

daddypig277344 porn distorts men's view of relationships so I'd knock that on the head immediately. You just need to be realistic, plenty of women will find you attractive if you're on the same level to be blunt. Maybe in real life you can aim higher because the person gets to see you as a whole package, clearly your hot ex wife liked something once

barnburntdown he's a grown man of course he got home safe, he just won't have thought to let you know. The thing I found really hard after being married was expecting to be treated and treating guys I actually don't know very well like we were married. You need to care less tbh. Read the book recommended in here it's good. Men do not want mothering

Sorry, trying to keep up and new to OLD....which book Pissssed? I need all the help that I can get at the moment!!

Hello all
After lurking for a while, I decided to join if you don't mind
So......last time I downloaded tinder and got few matches already. My first match messaged me straight away, and I after I replied, he said he wants to talk properly and left me his phone number to saying call me if you don't mind etc
Is it not too soon? I thought we should talk on tinder for a bit first? Does it mean he's serious about finding someone or rather attached? I'm relying on your experience here

I was briefly on tinder couple years ago when it first came out, but never had anyone wanting to talk on the phone so quickly.....

*last night
Sorry typing on my phone

Pissed yes ...what book.

I'm really wandering if I have blown it to be frank. How long till they message back?

I would like to know why, when a profile states you want someone 6ft 2 or over do the only winks come from men 5ft 9 or under?!!! Do men not read profiles? Do they just look at the picture?? There have been half a dozen men I liked but when I read their profile they wanted women younger than me or unrealistically thin so I didnt 'wink'. Which way is right? Its so confusing

Im finding match frustrating anyway as I haven't worked out how to view a profile (ie find out his height!!) without making him a favourite - so then I have to go in and unfavourite him! Any tips??? please?????