Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Myusernameismyusername, loobyloo1234 My exes have all been different heights. I don't mind if someone is the same height as me as long as he doesn't get a complex over me wearing heels and being taller. As for tall, a certain amount of tallness can be quite nice, say 6" but I once dated someone who was more like 1' taller than me and it was ridiculous. It makes your neck hurt! I'd never go that tall again. Given the choice of extremes, I'd go for around my height rather than Thor-like.

Pisssssedofff You're right, there are some compromises I'm no longer prepared to make. As for salary being one, I supported my ex financially for many years and he walked out on me due to being emasculated. I'm not doing that again. I don't need someone who can buy me dinner in fancy restaurants, but I'd like to date someone who can afford to split the bill in fancy restaurants and not bankrupt himself. I don't think it's unreasonable wanting to date someone in a similar financial ballpark to me so we can both do nice things together.

sammylady37 Sounds like a brush off to me! :( I would be inclined to leave it and see if he chases. But I might still be smarting after asking Mr Posh out on a second date and getting radio silence!

No it's not at all but it's not fair for Dadsnet to make out like ALL women care about height, the shorter women probably don't mind an average height bloke because you can still wear heels. I know what you mean about wider - I couldn't date someone very very slim as I would feel like a giant beast

So glad Ive found this thread - I took the plunge and joined match.com this week - had one message from a guy before I had even completed my profile calling me stunning and beautiful - he got the match standard email reply as I panicked and I'm now feeling guilty. Unfortunately he wasn't in my height criteria - like some previous posters height matters to me - I'm 5ft 9" and like wearing heels but I already feel big and hefty enough so cant cope with walking alongside a man who is shorter than me!! Therefore my minimum height was 6ft so why do they post matches for people who are under 6ft tall?!!!!!

Looking forward to reading about more success stories and picking up tips on how to avoid disaster!

I'm 5' 10" so height is important to me. I don't mind the same height, but my downfall is I never ask how tall they are because it makes me feel shallow! Luckily no one has been shorter than me so far.

So I have a dilemma .... I'm supposed to be seeing mr birm for 2nd date at the weekend, the trouble is I'm just not feeling it! He's very shy, doesn't suggest where we go, or when. Not great at messaging, quite blunt or one word replys, it's feeling very hard work. He's also admitted to being a big worrier, which is not what I need, been on his own for 6 years. We live 40 miles apart, and my gut is to call it off. We did have a nice time when we went out last time ... but I'm really not sure it's worth it?! Advice please?

Wingle he does sound like hard work
Is the date arranged? I would probably go because the 2nd date usually makes things much clearer. Some people are really crap at texting.

See it's ok I will take all the ones under 5'10 as they are still tall to me

dads we are not all like that! It's the same for the guys.
I've lost count of how many times I've been asked if I like head. Let alone, ill pop over for a "cuddle".

Quick up date.
No irons. Nothing.
i still really miss mr non commitment. This is shit.

I asked him if he fancied meeting again, we left it we would either sat or sun. That was Wednesday, he's not mentioned it again till this morning when I get a mesg "it's nearly the weekend" I feel he's expecting me to arrange it all, but it's so hard to find somewhere in the middle of us when I don't know the area!! Ggrrrr!!!

Wingle

See rule number 5 ... 5. Trust your gut instinct.

And Evil - exactly. The amount of times, I've probably been ruled out because of my height/weight/looks/salary/hair colour/skin colour ... etc ... god only knows. I don't let it get to me though. If they don't like me, they don't like me. Rather they discount me than waste my time to be quite honest

wingle you could always message back "I'm looking forward to hearing what you have planned for us" and see what he says/does!!

Same here, 5'10" was married to a man of 5'7" so it obviously didn't matter to me then but it does now tbh. I like the feeling of being kissed on the head, wrapped in his arms etc .... And think tyere's should be a law about short women not allowed to be with anyone over 6'

Well I had a great night, Mr far too young but god he's good in bed lol
Not sure if he's a prospect but we do talk about a future together so fingers crossed

Ah so the height thing is an issue for some ... but not for others? Does anyone else have any massive turn offs in the wonderful world of OLD?

Is it bad that I always look at their clothes aswell? Like, do they know how to dress ... ? just me I bet

Dad you comes across a little upset I think you might need a break from OLD.

I would say though that generally height, looks and salary are definitely looked for in men no point denying that really and anyway when it comes to relationships people should be able to look for whatever they want and just hope that the other person is interested.

Anyway for men I would say that they choose a lot based on looks, weight and age so swings and roundabouts.

Oh yes and hair (going by posts I have seen)

Being bald must suck for some men.

Holowiwi - I like baldies, leave them for me

Pisssssedofff Yay! Sounds great. Did he enjoy the steak and Veet?

Well, no contact at all from Audidriver since Sunday so I'm a bit pissed off. I've been stupidly stalking him on WhatsApp too and he's been active until half eleven every night so I can only assume that he's got other irons he prefers to me. Oh well.

I looked on Plenty of Fish last night and oh dear god, how I wish I lived near a city or two. The pickings here are miserable. Most look ancient. One had a profile shot which was simply his --enormous- erection. ... is it wrong that I bookmarked it?

I agree about height. I'm 5'6" (and a bit) and I must admit I tend to go for those who are 5'11" and over so that I can wear heels and feel feminine. I used to have a boyfriend who was 5'8" who hated me wearing heels and who used to put his arm around me and push me down whenever he could! I like a weighty man too so wouldn't date someone who was thin my boobs might smother him It's one of the things I love about Audidriver - his physicality. In bed, he'll simply pick me up and turn me over or turn me around like I weigh nothing.

I always end up with the baldies. So erm, short bald men for me

I am lucky to live near the 2 cities (as in London and Cambridge!)

He loved both lol
He's such a nice guy, I do worry about his maturity levels

Looby I like the baldies and I don't care what they wear really as long as it's clean. I also don't care if they don't have a degree. Plenty of men are smart and successful without having gone to University. I also don't bother selecting on salary. I'm a high earner so can afford to sub if necessary. I do consider a job essential though, as well as a good employment record. If they have a meaningful job or career then so much the better.

I agree that men select on youth, beauty and slimness.

Haha myuser - each to their own

Single - how far the bigger cities are you? Some men don't mind a drive and vice versa do they? What's a bit of distance if you like someone

One other thing I guess I judge look for in a man on OLD is mirror selfies. I just find it very cringe indeed. Too cringe to swipe. That's not shallow though is it ... ?

Myusername v jealous. You must get the cream of the crop being there!

I am between Stoke on Trent and Birmingham.

Glad to hear it Pisssssedofff Who cares about maturity. Overrated if you ask me.

loobyoo I'm about 30 miles from the bigger cities. I really am in the middle of nowhere. Pickings are SO slim. I set my age criteria to 33 (lower end) last night but like you say, they are still so young at that age if you want anything more than a fling (so very easy on the eye though)
To be honest, the problem isn't the distance, it's the calibre of men. They're very traditional, in manual jobs or the trades and usually haven't left the area they grew up in and I find that I have very little in common with them as I've lead an unusual life. They seem perplexed by me. I prefer quirky men. Having said that though, Audidriver is all of the above and I adore him so maybe I need to put aside my prejudices and keep an open mind.

I don't mind the mirror selfies to be honest as long as there's not too much face-pulling or posing. A nice smile is fine. It's the 'clutching pint' pictures that put me off.

Hmm don't know about cream of the crop at all but I do have a bald 5ft9 man coming for mooseburgers later