Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Lilac yeah I was a bit about him... why carry on the texts etc?

pissssedddofff - he has assured me he isn't married, he was married and had a son (now 13) from that marriage, then in another relationship and has a 10 year old daughter from that relationship. I did wonder, is there a GF though?? but he said no every time. He actually invited me to his flat and gave me the address on more than one occasion so how does that work?

anyway I don't think I'll be contacting him again - too much hassle.

lastsubject no I don't go by pics because in real life attraction can be very different!

pringlecat Mr Young sounds your best option!

Mrsfluff - damn teenagers and their afflictions!

I am thinking of joining Lovestruck again as Tinder not bringing many results and when I swipe not many men I fancy... darn it.

Oh it's so lovely to read these threads and reassure myself I'm not going mad. What wonderful women you all are. Truly.

Superskyhigh your NI chap sounds like I know him. It all adds up. Was floored when I read your comments; because it could be my Pyscho as my friends called him. Do hope it isn't though.
As for OLD, I take the view, go out for a coffee. It's not an engagement. And who knows what men are thinking anyway! It's their loss if they refuse to take anything further. Mind games. Omg. Man children...ghosting. Pathetic. If we judge all by our own standards, will be disappointed. Yet, many colleagues have met their DH so there are good fish amongst the sharks and barracudas..

Good luck all..

Mumswallet got your email and replied.

to the other women on here - maybe it's a good idea to sometimes share 'dodgy men' here as Mumswallet has now proved that she knows NI Businessman and well lets say.... I won't be taking it any further with him as he's a total head fuck.

His fault for messing around and being a dick!

You both know the same person .... and have both been messed around by him What are the chances? Morning everyone btw

The world is very small. Perhaps we've all been through enough so if something resonates, like the NI chap with Superskyhigh share! And a very happy sunny morning to my fellow mumsnetters (never nutters! )

looby but lots of men and women are 'on' a few dating profiles and I have found other people on different sites indeed one I knew sort of but had never met or didn't remember meeting! (younger brother of school friend of my younger brother).

In fact does anyone remember Rioux who was here last year? He turned out to be 'dating the thread', met up with me (bad move) but kept everything on the down-low and didn't realise that people but more especially women, talk. that was quite amusing at it goes...

Ooh no. I'm relatively new to the threads tbh but that sounds

Saying that, I did go on a date with someone, who had also it turns out been out on a date with my cousin. That was strange! He was an absolute tool aswell Wish I'd of known, would have saved the hassle of meeting an imbecile

I know of a similar situation with two people at my work having dates with the same person, but one a month later. He had anger issues, but the first one didn't tell the second as she thought it could have been her. It wasn't, but lesson learned it's good to share as people don't change.

I'm feeling guilty as now been sending messages to four men fairly regularly and they all seem nice. Statistically I'm sure at least three aren't or it will end with date one, but please tell me this is ok!

Wed date is now Fri, Thu still on, now have Sat pm too.

Sorry I've been totally absent, busy weekend and hellish few days in work.

Met MrLD in his city for dinner Friday night, had an absolutely gorgeous time. We just get on so well, we don't stop talking and laughing. We had to be forcibly ejected from the restaurant.

Had a snog and he put me in my taxi back to my hotel, then messaged to ask if I'd like lunch before I left the next day. Lunch lasted till 5 when I absolutely HAD to go home.

So we are definitely a 'thing' and we have had that awkward chat and actually we are exclusive because neither of us are interested in having other irons right now and I am literally counting the days until next weekend when we're both child free and seeing each other again.

Happy happy happy days.

Mumswallet/superfly

Ugh, I'm feeling so disillusioned by this online dating lark. The vast majority of men I cannot connect with. Is it wise to just 'settle' with someone who is fairly pleasant but whose clothes you don't want to rip off?

I'm going to sound like a jumped up twat, but I desire a partner that intellectually challenges me, and I'm finding it TOUGH to locate one of these on OLD.

Anyone feeling similar?

Geordie I'm back on OLD fairly recently so setting up dates at the moment, not so much experience of going on them, but I'm also trying to go for men with whom I'd assume can hold an intellectual conversation. I'm not writing to, nor replying to, men unless they have a degree or refer to a serious job on pof. I'm fortunate to live near a big city, so more fish in the sea so to speak, but are you being selective at the start?

I may still find this doesn't work, but I'm going to try it. Sadly it doesn't necessarily increase 'chemistry'!

Welsh yes it was a bit of a moment but to be quite honest sometimes this happens. with Mr NI Businessman I always knew there could be something a bit off with him but Mumswallet has clarified a few things - it's a relief! I let him know via whatsapp what I knew hopefully that'll have him running away with tail between legs.

I was contacted by an ex of my ex fiance on FB from many many years ago (about 35!) because my ex had been in touch with me from abroad and was professing his undying love for me. then he was a twat and on his FB wall and another woman's FB wall he was a bit indiscreet so I deleted and blocked him on whatsapp and FB but his ex GF who he lived with got in touch via messenger and safe to say we had quite the chat which was very enlightening!

looby see it does happen. not saying its right or wrong or anything just some men and women aren't very discreet in their dating habits or who they know.... lets just say the truth will out in the end!

looby see it does happen.

I never disputed it At least you know what you need to now though

What OLD sites are you using Geordie ? OLD is so hard, you really can't tell too much from a couple of photo's and a bio. I think I've said before, I wish you could tick some boxes to rule out those you know you're definitely not interested in based on personality/looks/location etc etc

And welsh - yay! Go you ...

no you didn't Looby but I think some others are a bit about it? but what can i say it happens.

Welsh I agree with Looby so nice to hear good news - good for you!

So was arranging a date time this morning, he cancelled on me on Sunday. I said at 10am this morning is 7pm enough time for you to make yourself beautiful, he replied no lol
Haven't heard since ... Are we meeting at 7pm ?

WTF he's just text now saying how long can you stay out .... I'm in my pj's eating pizza ... What is wrong with these men

V depressing thread up here at the mo about guy looking to dump his older wife after 10 years
sticks head in the sand

Nice to hear a bit of good news! Very pleased to hear you're happy, Welshmaenad. :)

Am now seeing Mr Young on Sunday night.

Mr Teacher has been in touch. Considering offering to meet him on Sunday before Mr Young.

OLD has made me a terrible person already...

Pringle concrats on mr teacher, and me young.

UpYer

Yup .. I've taken a keen interest in that thread too It's very early days with Toyboy but jeez. I don't want to be that woman ... scary

geordie I know exactly how you feel. I've been on 5 dates and had a ons. Only 1 of them would I want to see again but he didn't want to see me .

I've been agreeing to go on dates with people who aren't right for me and I kind of know that before I meet them. There's probably some deeper analysis to that but not sure what it is!

So I've decided to take a break from it and deactivated my profile. I've agreed to meet one iron on a fortnight so will keep in touch with him. Strangely he seems suitable!

There is one guy who if I didn't reply within an hour would message me with a

?????

Then

Ignoring me are you?

I'd apologise and say I've been busy/ not online etc but why was I apologising that is rude and reminds me of an ex who was very abusive (but I didn't realise for at the time)

sorry for the rant, I've found it therapeutic though!