Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Single, that sounds like the pics I'd send.......but I don't do fabulous lighting!

Pissssed- me and Mr 31 are meant to be no strings/limited strings, at my request, but I don't think it really is.

It never is Mrs Fluff

Thanks MrsFluff, I will heed your wise words... I too am a classic overthinker.

We need some kind of intervention system for the overinvestors amonsgst us!

I don't know why I have gone off it, well I do because I had a bad experience. It's quite bad
I had a ONS with a bloke and as we were drunk, I didn't realise he filmed me. My face. He told me after and I don't actually think he would do anything too awful with it but I refused to see him again and I do think it's likely he's shown people he knows. I refuse to go out where I think he goes out

That's actually against the law 😳
The police will remove that film ... And probably watch it themselves

I don't really want to bring it all back up! It's certainly tainted a lot of fun things for me.
I've never even sexted since it happened

Ok please don't get mad!
I went to my local coffee shop, and talked to the girl behind the counter. Basically I went and wrote inside a card how I felt and posted it threw his door. Yeah I know, but still I feel amazing.

On another note, mr. Friendship is seeming more attractive.

Myusernameismyusername That is awful. What a breach of trust.

I think it's nearly time to give up on Mr Posh... I remain confused.

myuser that's really bad.

pringle fingers crossed.

To all those that are in the SW, let's have a meet Up and compare notes. I'm sure we could help each other out.

Just popping on after work, will catch up properly, but definitely up for a SW meet up!

I'm sorry that happened Myuser - what a total arse that man was. You know that you have nothing to be ashamed of, don't you? That's all on him.

What's done is done evil - try to put it out of your mind, and don't work yourself up expecting an answer...

pringle - Doctors ahve lots of paperwork, he could well still be at work.

I need to compose a text sacking someone off. We had 2 dates, I agreed to meet again, but I don't want to, because

a) now I've met someone I actually like, I realise I'm not interested at all, and

b) I can't be bothered with someone that waits 3 days in between each and every text..

not needy at all

Anyone able to compose a nice 'thanks and goodbye' text? Or should I just Casper it?

Myuser that is awful, don't blame you for not doing photos since.

Pringle has he not replied? Sorry. Move on I think

baklava and Mrs Fluff - how not to get OI? If after 2 or three dates they seem to tick at least two out the three criteria pisssed posted earlier how can you not hope it will lead to more, whatever it is you're looking for? Unless I turn cynical I think we have to invest a bit of ourselves otherwise we're not presenting our true selves "sigh"

I've been back on POF today after Mr Interesting ghosted me and there is a flurry of fresh irons, some quite positive but one painful one - how do you move a conversation on when the replies are so one dimensional - or don't you?

Example (having asked him about his interests and not being asked anything in return)
Me: What else do you like to do?
Him: Meals out
Me: Ok, have you been to any of the new places in town that have recently opened?
Him: No
I eventually resorted to the dreaded "How are you finding POF" (i know, I was clutching at straws)
Him: painfully slow and annoying x (yes, a kiss!)
Me: What are you hoping to get from it?
Him: one date would be nice for a start

I give up - I'm not going to tell him that maybe he needs to ask...

But two more new ones chatting so we shall see

Myuser, that is awful. What a arse hole he is.
I am always careful never to be identifiable...............I still have screenshots of pictures my stbxh's 20 year old girlfriend sent him, in various stages of undress. We were married at the time!

You're so right Pissssed. There are definitely strings, he was upfront about that........but also for me I think.

Evil, I hope you get the result you want........whatever that is

I don't know about the no strings, my Monday mooseburgers were with my Mr No Strings which has been a clear arrangement from the off. Hadn't seen him for about 6 weeks but yesterday had the opportunity and inclination so sent him a message.

I have amazed myself to be honest at being able to keep it separate (from emotions, and not sure I did at the start) but since the end of my long mostly sexless relationship the fact that I was so unbelievably horny can have amazing mooseburgers every so often with no other considerations is working for me.

frome I just give up, if there is no spark it's not worth the effort.

Thanks Evil you're right.

And regarding you posting the card - good for you if that felt the right thing to have done, no-one else knows how you feel and the fact that you feel good for having done it says a lot.

Mr Shy and I have some clashing date problems. I've not heard from him much all day but he did say he was very busy so I will not fret... he sent me a list of his free dates for this month and none of them are my free dates. I can't keep asking my ex to swap childcare but I don't think he can swap at all (his ex works weekends also he is committed to hobbies with kids sat and Sunday) so I am not sure what to do

Well that was a waste of time turned up in pub for drink with NI businessman (our second) and he's not been seen on whatsapp since late night wasn't in pub (I had one drink then left) was not answering his phone etc. To say I'm quite pissed off is very true!

mrsfluff I'm now panicking about if he phones.
Why do I never think these things out!

BaklavaBalaclava I'm still at work myself. It is feasible he hasn't checked his phone but getting less likely.

Have been messaging a single guy I met in real life. He might be fun. But I don't know if I can be bothered with just fun right now, I don't want to invest the time if there's definitely no long term future potential.

super that's aweful. Have a massive hug. And some

Super that is really crap, sorry. Echo what evil said

Super unless he's unconscious in hosp, you have avoided a potentially bad relationship.

My date for tomorrow morning cancelled. Sounded like a good reason and we've swapped for Fri, but then it's evening so I'm not so confident. Will go somewhere I can drive.

Really sorry to hear that super

Evil I have a recent commitment phobe ex and an REALLY struggling at the moment. I just want him back so I understand how you feel totally. What did you write in the card?