Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Well. He was lovely but I don't think there was any chemistry and I would be surprised if he wanted to see me again. We had a nice chat but that's really all it was.

I don't feel scared anymore though - having put myself out there and met someone through OLD, I can totally do this again. :)

Yay pringle well done - you have got first date out of the way and although there wasn't any chemistry, you survived.

All my irons have gone cold.
Stone fucking cold!

I swear there is nothing left. It's so soul distroying.

I'm on four different sites. Nothing........

My irons seem to be melting very quickly too and no one new on the horizon.

Now massively over analysing what I did wrong yesterday to make him go from loads of flirty texts to sweet nothing.

Are you semi-rural Evil?

I find that where I am there's a real dearth of men in the 30 - 50 age group. Theyre either in manchester or birmingham. Its a bit shit isnt it.

Sorry there was no spark Pringle, but I'm glad you're not scared anymore.

I've asked Mr 31 out for a drink this week and he is up for it. Not sure when I'll have house to myself again and I would like to see him.
No 2nd date plans with Mr Gosport, but messaging lots and I'm confident I see him next time he's this way.

I'm not actively looking on Match now, I think I'll stick with these 2 for a bit, unless anyone else gets in touch.

single yes, it's a pain. The next big city is 60km away.

I'm going to invest in a better rabbit the way things are going.

Thanks, Crazycat1980. I don't know if I should message him along the lines of 'lovely to meet you but we clearly won't be seeing each other again'? What's the etiquette? He really was rather lovely and interesting but I didn't sense any romantic spark.

Thanks for the welcomes everyone! Well done on your first date Pringle. Looking forward to getting the first one out of the way, then I think I'll be loads less nervous.

He replied. Saying 'I love a fit milf' . Do I ignore or give him a chance?

That's not the worse chat up line, give him a chance. If it gets cheesier then ditch!

It's a funny time of year for dating. I think people more up for it in new year and summer time. Don't give up you lot just keep your chins up!

Pringle I would leave it unless you really want to see him again. The thanks but no thanks messages get a bit awkward. I texted my second date guy yesterday as I thought it had gone ok and as soon as he replied I knew he wasn't interested. Tone of texts has totally changed.

I know it's the 21st Century and all that but I don't think I will do any more chasing. My last relationship which I am totally not over yet ended because he wasn't as in to me as I was him and it's pretty soul destroying. Now I want someone to show me that they want me.

Sadly this doesn't seem to be happening

Totally agree about the chasing tbh, I don't want a man who wouldn't make the first move anyway so there's no point in me pursuing

Crazycat1980 Oh, I meant as in drawing a line under it - I don't think I want to see him again and I'm fairly sure that's mutual, but I wondered if it was normal to spell that out so we're both clear on it or to just quietly vanish and ignore each other.

I'm with you on the chasing. I chased my ex too much and it really eroded my confidence.

Back to the website, I guess...

Yup - if I had sat back and treated myself as the prize I wouldn't be the broken-hearted mess I am now. Never again....

Pringle - yay! Well done. First date down. So proud ... you've come a long way I feel like the mum of this group now hehe

I wouldn't send that text though I don't think ... if you think he felt the same, you can just ghost each other

Cat - stick with it. There are some success stories on this thread ... OLD can work

Welcome to the new ladies

So quick update, shy mr birm, is completely smitten it would appear! But no mention of second date, I know if I mention it he will jump at it, but I had to ask first time!! I'd like to see him again, think I need a snog to see how I really feel! Mr mountain bike came back off hols and contacted me straight away, not overly flirty, but nice things like sweet dreams, and he calls me flower, there is just something about him that gets me all excited. He finds out tomorrow if he can drive after his op! This has made the reality of meeting him suddenly really scary, I've really over invested in him, been chatting for weeks!! I think it might be better to only chat for a few days before meeting.

I'm on Tinder and Bumble, I've met nice men on both but Bumble seems to be the best. Same at tinder but they can't message you, so does put them at a disadvantage. Not as many men to choose from but seem more genuine. Whet on POF for 24 hrs!!! Couldn't stand it. Finally I've unmatched everyone else, these two I really like so see how it goes!

Single I'm in Chester so not as far north as I could be, would definitely be up for getting a northwest meet up together

Pringle well done on getting the first one done, I found I was a lot more confident after my first one. I'm on a grand total of 4 now! I didn't contact my first date afterwards, as it was obvious there was no mutual attraction. I didn't hear from him either, I felt awful as that's not how I'd normally treat people and I felt I should have offered an explanation but I think I've realised that normal rules don't apply to OLD

I haven't been back on POF Mrs Fluff as I thought Mr Interesting was going somewhere, especially after our hours of lovely sexts on Friday night - but guess what? Not a word since, not a single word. What is wrong with these men? And it is them, not me, I know that. Ah well.

That may have led me to contact Mr No Strings very brazenly this afternoon not expecting anything, lo and behold I had Monday moose burgers at teatime - that has put a smile on my face this evening.

Someone told me Coffee Meet Bagel is a good app if you went to uni. The concept is apparently a bit snobby, but she's had better dates from it than the usual sites.

Tess a fellow Tinder girl! I love Tinder because although it's harsh it's not mucking around and if you don't like someone just unmatch them. otherwise it seems to be a stupid game of winking or whatever on various sites, I haven't got time for that.

I agree from a woman's point of view, I'd like to know if a man has children too. Doesn't matter if they're grown up or other details but need to know sooner rather than later. Widower put his daughter in profile blurb plus he was/is teaching her how to swim.

singleandfabulous hate to say it but if Audi driver is on sites after sexting to you then he has his feelers out elsewhere.

Pringle sorry it didn't go really well, but being ok is good. If nothing else, it gives you a baseline on which to judge the next dates.

I'm on an elite site, two strong contenders on there, but POF has worked well for me, in terms of finding some potential matches. I'm selecting men with real jobs and interesting profiles and at least the messaging is ok. I know it could all fizzle out though. I may be finding it ok as I live near a city, big population so possibly more choice.

Does anyone know if you can view match messages without being a member? I partially signed up, but can see messages. Don't want to pay when I've paid £200 to elite site for 6 months. Are most posters paying and getting more information?

Can't see messages, but emails to say I have them grrr.

Evilwater I'm a bit like that with Tinder right now, no interest! But am also on smooch but ignore that just haven't come off there.

Wingletang bumble sounds interesting! shy Mr birm seems worth a second date and Mr Mountain Bike sounds promising but you need a meet up, at least I would!

ForMe Mooseburgers always a good thing!

I am now planning on meeting NI businessman tomorrow for our second date since July last year eg 2015!!! Going to a pub i suggested it. He will probably want Mooseburgers but I've got an interview Wednesday after work so will try to put that off as need to do interview prep. I just thought fuck it lets do a drink date (I'll be in the area anyway) he may get annoyed at lack of moose burger as we didn't do the deed on first date but hey I am not scuppering my interview no matter how much I like him.

Wondering if things do take off will I meet widower next Monday as planned but probably will. He's a sweetie but a nice man.

lilac as far as I know you have to pay to view match messages in fact that's one reason I got pissed off with them eventually as you can do a few days sign up but they prefer you to do 1 month or more next thing you know you're signed back up and I didn't find much traffic there - though got a friend signed up to one of the Match sites.

I personally did not like POF but would consider maybe rejoining love struck or doing something.

Unexpected message from Mr Posh (yes, I renamed the Doctor). Now I'm confused. WTF does lovely to meet you mean? It needs "but I don't think we'll see each other again, good luck" or "and I'd like to meet you again" after it.