Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Lilac didn't know one could be un-ghosted. I read an article in Evening Standard about various ways of ending things or 'playing games' as I like to call it.

I was on various sites Match Crapfinity, OK Cupid (ok), POF (hated POF and came off it), Lovestruck - ok but got tired of all the back and forwards stuff though did have a few dates.

now on Tinder and much prefer it. It cuts out all the crap for me. had a few Tinder dates.

I like tinder, brutal but to the point !

I personally love Tinder Pissssssedofff - it is brutal and to the point but at least you know where you are! and the ones into dom stuff tend to put that out there too.

Had enough of poring over profiles which match you to within an inch of your life.

last one I matched with on OKC turned out to be a younger brother of one of my DB's school friends... fine but turned out he had a major complex about his older brother being... more good looking etc. He also wrote deep poetry (quite good but you could tell it was about his brother, an ex etc) he sent me a link to it - think on profile - we didn't last for various reasons then I noticed a poem just after we broke up definitely about me! so I got myself off OKC.

I'm on Match and Tinder. Prefer Match at the moment but it seems to be pretty slim pickings.

When I have a bad date it just makes me really pine after my ex-boyfriend. I did some facebook stalking of him last night and he seems to be joining various singles groups to meet people. Made me sad.

Good luck tonight Pringle

Oh believe me I've had times whilst saying where I've wondered if my ex Husband was actually that bad - he was - but you do wobble.
I also look at a lot of "couples" and you know their lives are a lie, one is literally waiting for her husband to die, I kind you not !

Whilst dating I meant !

Crazy - don't worry so much about ex-boyfriend - I did FB stalking on my ex from a few years ago (about 6-7) - he's now moved abroad but got in with an expat crowd and I saw his 'fledgling romance' with someone from another country but about 15 years younger than him - go him! She then figured him out and dumped him or he dumped her!

Super, you're right, it's probably gameplaying. He has me intrigued. We've sent each other very direct messages and it made a change so I can't stop yet.

My most likely iron is Mr Professional. He's sincere and messaging with keen, coherent sentences. No "your gorgous" nonsense. One possible issue is that I look about 5 yrs younger and v short, his photo makes him look his age (so look like 15 yr gap) and he's very tall. I like the things he says though!

You all seem to have loads of irons in fires- I've got 2 and feel a bit guilty about that OI? Me? Yes! Still!

Mrsfluff no irons really just 1 and 1 which is really a no goer but i like him anyway!

Ah Super, the no goers, when you like them, are such a pull!

I'm so nervous. I'm so so nervous! Meant to be having my first ever first OLD date in a few hours! Someone calm me down, please!

Relax pringle - can't wait for the update. Make sure you enjoy yourself

Have fun Pringle! Once you're there I'm sure your nerves will settle and you'll have a fab time

Hi everyone! I started a thread about being nervous to start online dating and got directed here. I broke up with my exP a few months ago, the first proper relationship I've ever had - and he's really dented my self confidence, so I thought a couple of dates might help. It's such a struggle though - I'm in my early 20s with a DD which doesn't seem to be what men my age are looking for

I braved it yesterday and started talking to someone. He asked who I lived with. I said it was just me and my little girl. He said I really should put that in my profile, and didn't reply after that should I? Somebody on MN said I shouldn't even have a picture of us two one there, as it might attract the wrong sorts of people. But I don't want to keep talking to people, for them to ghost me as soon as I mention my daughter. Gah. It's a minefield isn't it?

I don't have a photo but I do mention kids. I think it's easier to clear out the wrong people that way. I don't even mention ages or sex I just say I am a parent and kids live with me

I haven't even got anything written in my tinder bio tbh. Everything I've thought of writing just sounds so cringey and I have a ton of mutual friends with loads of people on there so I wouldn't want anyone to screenshot my profile and laugh at me like I said, my self esteem is shot to bits.

Just been reading through all of your stories though, and they've encouraged me to get back on the horse and do a bit more swiping.

Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing this thread. I'm newly separated (6m) and after 20 years together I haven't got a clue. I think I want a bit of fun in my life and OLD seems the only way for me.

Just a couple of questions.

Are coffee dates best? Do the guys expect a kiss on these first dates or is it a case of waiting until the right time?

As I say I haven't got a clue!

No not all guys expect a kiss at all but once you have involved alcohol it's more likely, so I would indeed stick with coffee/lunch until you feel a bit more confident!

And hello!

Hi Heck and Allnew.

Heck, I too would be honest about having a child, but wouldn't mention age or sex.

Allnew - I've only met up with 3 blokes, but have snogged 2 of them on the first date. The one I had been talking to for RM two weeks, the other only 48 hours, but we'd been incredibly flirty. So basically, I would say whatever you are comfortable with.

A belated hi to crazy although you are diluting the already slim pickings evil and I have lined up

Agree with the harshness of Tinder but prefer it soon much more than POF, deleted that yesterday.

Hi to allnew too . I've done coffee dates and I think I prefer the alcohol ones, although I definitely get more tactile on them, and give irons the impression I'm hot for them - in reality when the beer goggles come off I'm barely lukewarm.

I may, just may, have an iron. Early days on Tinder but so far so good.

Hope the date is going well pringle!

Forme2016 Im on the staffs/cheshire boarder and would love some supportive gin meetups. wherabouts in cheshire are you?

my username Yay! Sounds fantastic! He sounds great.

Well AudiDriver cancelled on me at tge last minute and I suspect ge has other irons invthe fire as its been 6 weeks now since weve seen oneanother and (thanjs to stalking him on WhatsApp) I know that right after sexting me last night he was busy in there until midnight. The curse of WhatApp. He makes all these sounds about being dead keen to see me but doesnt folliw up with actions. I think Ill just leave it to him to set up the next date now. Im tired of doing all the running. He is so utterly gorgeous and 'Alpha' male though.

Welcome to heck too - I've nothing in my Tinder profile either, doesn't seem to put men off!

'border' obvs. I dont have a boarder