Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Yay for mooseburger updates from mrsfluff and myuser
Both of your posts made me chuckle I love this thread!

re Tinder it can be ok. It's easy to use, you can't be contacted by a load of men you'd never normally speak to and although there are definately a load of one night stand/hook up types on there plus marrieds there are also some normal/genuine ones you just have to have patience and a sense of humour!

So I'm meeting the policeman this afternoon to chat about if we can stay friends or maybe try again...
We had 6 dates, all were great but we fell out a few times over whatsapp. He communicates totally different to me, we misread each other a fair bit and hownstuff comes over via text/whatsapp/email etc can make tone hard to read. That said he is pretty bloody petulant for a 42 year old and a bit of a man child. I'm quite sure it wouldn't go anywhere long term but the fact he is hot, local and an amazing kisser is enough to agree to the coffee and chat this afternoon!

User, just read your later update. Stop worrying, relax - he's into you! I shall send a hug and a x, sod the rest of mumsnet

No I feel like that. I got myself into a right mess about not feeling sexy at all but he was the one who made me feel amazing and confident about it in the end

Excuse typos..
Also should mention that we didn't have mooseburgers or anything close so another reason I am curious to go back and revisit!

myuser he's definitely into you and sounds lovely!

I wish I could control my fat mouth better after some drinks
I think last night I decided to regale him with my up till now somewhat tragic love life and hilariously bad dates

And mrsfluff thank you for sharing that, I think there are a fair few of us on here with less than perfect bodies and wobbly bits in abundance. I'm slim but having had 4 children my stomach is awful, wobbly and stretch marks so I do worry about getting naked
Your update gives me hope that they don't actually care!

No they don't care I don't think. I have a lot of wobble and trust me, it seemed to make him very excited!

I have some really pretty and sexy little PJ shorts and vest top and I usually put them on because they make me feel nicer as well

mrsfluff I am both envious and in awe of you! And you too, myuser, that happened to me once after a loooong period of abstinence. Wad nothing to worry about.

I had a hastily arranged date last night. Ten years younger, really lovely guy and lots to talk about. Little bit out there as far as looks are concerned, and we're in different places in life. He's not in the best of places financially or job-wise and that bothers me a little. But he was so sweet and good to talk to.

He did leave me alone on a deserted station in the middle of nowhere at 11pm to catch the train home though. I said he didn't have to wait to see me on the train safely and could leave, but I expected him to, iyswim.

Text last night to say he'd love to see me again. Head and heart say no, but I literally have zero intetest for anyone else who messages me, and those who I message have zero intetest in me, so I'm tempted, just to have someone to flirt with.

Bad idea, right?

I'm not even slim Last, but honestly, he really didn't seem to care! I'm loving this thread and the support it gives. Everyone in real life is very supportive, but none of them have been where I am.

I hope your catch up with the copper goes well. I think you're right to meet him and talk, you can then decide where to take it from there.

Hmmmm, Tess, I think if you really don't think either your head or heart are initially, then perhaps you shouldn't go there?

The last guy I was naked with told me to stop hiding my stomach, he knew what it was like, but not in a nice way, more like 'it's too late for that.' Then he said 'you wouldn't want anyone to see your sex face.' Apologised afterwards because I couldn't hide being upset, but it majorly affected my confidence so worried sick about being naked ever again.

New rule for me, if in doubt don't !
Whilst on my date, he got chatted up by a meth addict st the bar, who then sat with us for an hour, not his fault but as my brother said wtf did he take you to a luv like that for in the first place.
Not seeing him again, he's a nice man but we are worlds apart

That is fucking awful Tess
Please don't let that twat ruin your confidence.

As for being naked, watch eat love pray, Julie Roberts is spot on with the analogy most men are so bloody happy to have a naked chick in their bed they don't care, hairy legs, spotty ass they do not care !!

Mrsfluff one for the team, yay! Thank you for sharing and the TMI doesn’t faze me, in fact I welcome it as it’s stuff we all think and feel but don’t necessarily discuss openly.

I bloody love this thread, so good we all have somewhere to come for support and advice.

Here’s an idea, why don’t we do a meetup???? How great would that be or is it a silly idea????

Pissed, good rule!! That date does not sound at all good!
Tess, that guy was an absolute arse, how vile of him. Please don't let him put you off though, he was a vile piece of work. I'm 6ft and a size 20, Mr 31 kept telling me how beautiful I was - he even commented on my lovely bum - it's not, it's massive, but he saw it differently!

As for sale meet up, I'm in Gloucestershire!

Tess that is awful, he's clearly a twat and hopefully will never have another woman in his bed to say such garbage to.

I am also hung up about my wobbly bits but like the Julia Roberts thing - hoping it holds true when the time comes! Just need Mr Interesting to come back from France so mooseburgers can be served, he's already seen certain wobbly bits and seemed the opposite of put off so here's hoping....

Curly - I love the idea of a meet up. I reckon we'd make a pretty formidable bunch in any bar or club. Where is everyone from? I'm in Cheshire

Mrsfluff - you make me laugh every time

Oooh-so many mooseburgers being served
tess that's disgusting behaviour, I can't believe anyone would think it was acceptable to say that, what a tosser. I would say re date, if head & heart say no, then say no & do something really lovely for yourself instead.

pisssssedoff that sounds like an odd evening!
lastnickname enjoy coffee-at least you know your reservations about him before you meet him...although my ex was/is petulant and a man-child and still successfully winds me up with it at times.
I must say the though of being naked in front of someone new makes me feel nauseous-I am droopy, wobbly & could do with losing a stone (oooh, makes me sound like a keeper!!) I'm going to watch that film curlylox never seen it before

You have all got me through the last month thank you, it is soooooo good to know there's a group of us going through similar experiences.

Honestly ladies, I have stones to lose - the good ones don't care!

And in support of the younger man - all night!! Then immediately upon waking.....I'm not sure he'd even opened his eyes He even commented on how flexible I am - I'm not, I'm bloody aching today and by back aches, but oh to have such hot, hot sex!! And he's the one the wants a relationship, not me

Ooh so many moose burgers! Well done Mrs fluff ! That uninhibited hot sex where no one cares about wobbly bits is awesome!!

I might've had moose burgers myself last night too Indie boy again. I think I might be over invested and I think he's ruining me for anyone else, but omg he's good

Mr Shy just rang me up and asked me when I am next free

I'm down south so miles from you lot!

Ooh myusername that's really promising - sounding like you're both invested