Husband isn't going to let me leave my job

[totslepots]

I'm a mum to a toddler and also part-time teacher. I've been back at work for 18 months since having DC and I'm finding it harder and harder.
My mental health is in bits as a result, I keep getting the shakes and find myself having to sleep through a lot of the weekend to recover. I work at a challenging secondary school and today, I've been sworn at by a parent and a student and struggled to control a class that behaved like a box of frogs.
I'm exhausted by the end of the day and my days off with my toddler are spent trying to gain back some energy by staying close to home. My other mum friends have the energy for activities and meet-ups and I just need some quiet time.
My school are aware of behavioural issues but are doing little to resolve them, they have no idea how much I'm struggling and I'm considered a good Teacher with lots of good results and observations. But inside I'm a wreck. I'm also tired of working in the evenings after a hard day.

My husband is a teacher also and works full time, be believes I'm 'lucky' to be part time. He faces his own challenges at his school, but he just won't accept that I'm not like him, I'm not as strong as he is and I'm living on the edge.
I've been browsing jobs with the help of a careers person so I'm not bein at all brash and considering all my options. However, it would seem I'm going to have to take am initial pay cut to leave the profession. Husband wont agree. We can afford to live on a bit less, but he won't accept it and subtly finds every negative he can for any job I consider applying for. I feel cornered.

What should I do? I've already had time off sick for this although the school have no idea of the real reason I was off. I'm at breaking point and I'm getting snappy with students, staff, husband and my toddler. I don't know what to do?

You're as free to leave your job as you are to leave your husband. Nothing is more important than your physical and mental health.

What did you decide to do OP? I hope you had a good half term.

Feeling well rested and calmer after half term, so far this week, things have been ok.
I've started browsing for jobs and DH has accepted that I will be handing in my notice regardless of whether I have found a new job. He has accepted that I may hand my resignation in for Easter or for the summer, depending on how I'm coping if I haven't found a new job by then.
I've accepted that I need to care less about being perfect at my job and I'm going to settle for ok for the time being, see where that takes me. I'm not going to stress if I don't get certain elements of the job done in time either.
I just find that as soon as life happens, teaching becomes unbearable; it's this that tips me over the edge. It's like we're not human and not allowed to find things tough. It's particularly frowned upon at my school.

An Update for everyone who supported me when I first wrote this post after a desperately difficult few days at work.
I have a new job :) it is still in teaching but an entirely different sector and teaching adults :)
I am struggling however to get the school to let me hand in my notice for a shorter notice period than I'm contracted for. They are asking for a full term taking me to Easter!! I could start the new role after Christmas however! I will be in breach of contract if the school don't agree to me finishing earlier and I walk out at Christmas. However, I need to get out of there! Any suggestions?
My husband has been amazing. After his initial wobbles, he's supporting me one hundred percent and completely on my side.

Well they can't make you stay, but they can sue you for costs and don't forget that you'll need a reference from them at some point.

I think you should talk to your union or union rep for advice but your best bet is definitely to try to win them over. Tell them what you told us, about the stress and anxiety. If they don't release you early they could be looking at you going off sick anyway.

If they won't compromise, ride it out but do the bare minimum and relax in the knowledge that you have something else lined up.

I'm glad your dh is supporting you, and congratulations on the new job.

Well done you!

I think there may be a provision somewhere in the Burgundy Book around waiving notice periods if you are leaving teaching?

Sue you for what? They would have to be able to demonstrate that they had incurred a loss. Why would they want to waste time and money taking you to court?

go off sick if you need to.

they will be really pleased to get rid of you then.

Thanks. I'll take a look at what the burgundy book says about notice periods for leaving teaching. There must be some way around it as for other jobs the notice period is much shorter.

Well tell your DH to work part time and look after your toddler and you go full time and see how he handles it.
Sorry but he doesn't get to decide. It's clear that your health is suffering as a result and its uncaring and unsupportive not to make that the priority. I think he's being unreasonable.

Great to hear you got a new job! Hope they let you leave at Christmas.

If that doesn't work out, there is also working for Ofsted to consider.