The ignoring.....not so gaaaaa (part 2)

[FV45]

So ex finally left the home yesterday.
Slept ok and atmosphere in home is much lighter.

Residency issues are ongoing. As it stands I don't know what's happening at the weekend.

I am collecting DS2 from after school club and taking him to school tomorrow. Ex collecting from school. Ex won't discuss timings for me to collect DS2 from him on Saturday morning. Suspect he plans to drop him here at his convenience.

Am seeing sol and going to meditation MIAM soon with view to court so not sure what I can do until then, aside from log everything.

Doesn't matter how often I've watched it over the last 5 years, still makes me laugh!!!

We've all been there with the fckin Lexmark Bstard printer at some point in life

It's a bit sad that office printers have moved on and we aren't allowed to look after our own machines anymore

Random, that was funny.

FV, great news on the bone scan results, that's a relief.

I filled the form out on the computer then printed it off the 3 times (mine was even worse as I filled out a C1A as well).

Definitely didn't use a work printer.

Definitely didn't go through multiple versions, all printed 3 times.

Definitely didn't have to put a new toner cartridge in the printer either. Definitely not.

I think I'll do it in pencil, get it checked then do it in pen and photocopy the bloody thing!

I have done nothing with it today. Had to collect son from school at 9pm (over an hr round trip) then sister called and here I am.

c3 you are a bad, bad man!

So our current residency rota runs until the 14th Nov, so I've emailed my proposal from then until the end of the month.

We'll see. I never did get a reply about this evening (DS with me just one night).
I haven't had a response about Xmas plans.

DS seems very, very tired.

Is his Dad good on bed times? How is DS2 generally when he knows he is staying at Dads, does he go happily?

I think ex keeps him up too late.
He's happy to be at his Dad's I think, though he does complain about certain things. But then he's a bit of a drama llama at the best of times. Passionate I think the PC word is!

He was sad that he only spent one night with me before going back to ex's this evening.

I told ex I'd collect DS at 10.30am tomorrow. He replied saying "1.30pm".
How do I respond to that? He won't back down I know it.

I replied that 1pm wasn't OK, his reply was a simple "1pm".

Great. I shall use the time to make a start on my C100

Yes I have a 'passionate' one as well. It's good he wants to see his Dad, I just hope the court sees sense and agrees that he needs a more stable arrangement with more 'down' time. I am quickly losing faith in the whole system.

He is such a dick your ex! Are you due to have DS all weekend now, Sat and Sun night? If so his insisting on 1pm encroaches on your weekend. I guess it's only my opinion but I don't think it's unreasonable for each of you to take it in turns to have a full weekend with DS. I guess you need to add to your list that you want a set pick up time at the weekends.

It's only not his w/e cos he is working. He only has DS when he is not working.
Yeah Sat and Sun night.

Again that's him expecting DS and you to fit in around his work whilst keeping exactly 50:50. But I really feel it's not unreasonable to want your son every other whole weekend regardless of what he is working. You need quality time with your son as well.

Yup.
My mediation exemption form arrived today. Formal validation that has no interest at all in being reasonable.

No reason not to get cracking with my C100.

10pm he tells me I can collect DS at 12.45....snort...15 mins earlier. I think I'll ignore that. I imagine it suits him better now.

Have not looked at forms. Went to some bonkers Insanity workout and then DS1 wanted to watch The sound of music Aliens with me. So we did that.

c3 are you about?

Looking at C100 now (dubious silver lining of DS2 being under the weather and snuggled with Kindle).

Is it right that I only need to give brief outline of what I want Court to do at this stage, and only when I have court ref number will then provide statement/evidence and all that?

I've been reading the Dads help guide you sent me. Very, very helpful thank you...I do love a bit of plain English!

Also I guess things DS tells me cannot be used as evidence, can they? Things like when he told me he woke up and didn't know where his dad was and was scared.

Maybe send a pm, that should trigger an alert. If not perhaps ask over in legal.

Hope DS2 is ok.

Reading more about the first hearing. I will have to be in the room with him. OMG. The only thing I have to indicate his behaviour is that he didn't attend his MIAM.

Are you allowed to take someone to support you?

Just stay focussed on why you are there, to sort out reasonable access for your DS, this isn't about him and you. If he loses his cool they will figure out pretty quickly what he is like. As far as his behaviour regarding visitation, you do have lots of evidence which shows how selfish and unreasonable he is.

I'll add a proper message with some advice in a bit, I'm cooking an epic roast at the moment (stealth boast of my cooking skills lmao).

Thanks. Yes I can take someone with me.
And I know what I am asking for will be reasonable.

I'm just scared I'll be intimidated by him and cry or just not be able to speak. Maybe a WA person can come with me actually. Dunno, I think a friend who knows me better will know what to say to me to keep me on track.

And if it's the same place as the non-mol hearing....urgg.

Email from ex in response to my proposal for second 1/2 of month (5 days each before swapping).

Completely ignored (as obv has work schedule). I'm Nov he will have had 17 to my 13 nights, and apart none will have been more than 2 nights.
I can't stand it. Am in tears and feel lump of anxiety in my throat.

I think you need to respond to that one, point out that does not equate to 50:50 and reduce his visits to make up for your lost nights. I guess you need to agree to a starting point when a period begins and ends, whether it's 14 days or one month, to be sure you are getting 50%.

You can do this, just look at what you have already survived. In the meantime do your best to put your foot down even if it only means he will still do as he pleases. He is far to used to bullying to get his own way.

Take whoever is best for you with you, make lots of notes, focus on them and not on him. Perhaps WA lady to come in with you but your friend to go there with you to wait outside and take you home afterwards.

But I don't know how to physically stop his visits.
Go away with DS?

You can only do your best until hopefully the court arranges something better, then hope he abides by it.

Reject his proposal as it is not equal. How do the weekends work out on his proposal? Don't back down but be prepared that he may just go pick DS2 up regardless, that will frustrate and upset you but you are already feeling that way.

His proposals appear to be whenever he is not working he is expecting DS2 regardless of percentages.

What happens in court, do you make a proposal and give your reasons for it?