Going on a date with NO money?

[HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld]

My friend thinks it is acceptable to go on a date with 0 in my pocket.

I have a new guy in my life and he has invited me out tonight, I literally have 0 in my account until Monday so I declined. Whilst I believe that if a guy invites you out he should pay I wouldn't ever leave the house without money, you just don't know what will happen.

She is telling me I am being stupid and I will lose him if I keep declining dates, its only been twice.

What do you think about this?

I would have declined, but I'm 50:50 for paying for meals out. It's lovely to be treated, but I wouldn't want a free ride.

We're the ones who have to wear stupid shoes and push-up bras

I must have missed that memo

God the shame of having gone on a date with flat-heeled boots and a normal bra

So basically you think that a man should pay for everything on a date in order to compensate you for suffering the discomfort of your choice of footwear and underwear.

Which then progresses on to you rewarding him for his generosity by giving him sex.

If you're arguing that men and women shouldn't go halves, then surely the fairest thing to do would be for each person to pay a proportion based on their relative salaries, rather than the man paying 100% and the woman paying zero?

Well I'm 4O now and married 15 years, but back in the dating days of yore (the 90s!), I don't think I ever really paid on a date, though I did generally offer and always had money on me. With DH I used to book things like the theatre in advance to balance things out a bit. Maybe it's a generational thing?
OP I think you made the right decision.

Shouldn't go halves because of women stastically warning less than men that is.

I believe that if a guy invites you out he should pay

Just dozed off on the sofa. Seem to have woken up in 1953..........

I went on my first date in jeans, riding boots, a fur coat and a normal bra.
Can't be all that bad. He showed up in a superhero hoodie. He obvs missed the memo as well. together a decade.
Seriously though, You don't HAVE to do anything. god alive. Are you all so helpless that you can't buy your own drinks/food?!?

Even if someone else was paying I would want to have money for a taxi if I didn't live nearby. In some European countries it's illegal to go out without money.

Lol kissing I can just imagine a couple hunched over with a calculator and their wage slips working that shit out!

Mojito, I don't think it is a generational thing, I'm 47 and have always gone halves on dates.

Well mumofone, perhaps that's why you're still dating and I'm not. The men that I know wouldn't put up with this sexist nonsense and certainly wouldn't have any interest in a partner that does.

Er, No. No law exists re: going out without money.

Course the man should pay. Men control access to the money, women control access to the sex innit?

That's exactly the message we should all encourage, tis the way of the world...

Aye

Indeed, I also wish people would learn the difference between 'pay gap' and 'earnings gap'. Taking the aggregate sum total of men's earnings and comparing them to the aggregate sum of women's earnings and calling the difference a pay gap is astonishingly stupid.

As for dating, if I went on a date with a women who refused to offer to pay for a single item all evening then I can guarantee there would not be a second date. I find it incredible that there still seems to be a sizeable minority of women out there who still think it's a mans duty to pay for a date.

I wouldn't risk going out without at least money to get me home safely. If I really liked him and I have asked my sister to lend me a tenner til Monday. That would be enough for a cheap round of drinks and the bus home (where I currently live anyway)
Depends on how keen I was to see him.

I can't believe there are still women who expect their men to pay for them all the time. Even if I was dating a massively wealthy man, I would still buy a round of drinks and suggest splitting the bill for dinner. As I have never dated a massively wealthy man and I am very much married, that's a fictitious scenario.

'In some European countries it's illegal to go out without money.'

Really? Seems utterly bizarre!

Whilst I believe that if a guy invites you out he should pay

Really OP?

I've been on one date where the man insisted on paying for it all, and it made me feel really uncomfortable. And after we'd been out a couple of times I realised we weren't really suited but it made me feel really guilty telling him I didn't want to go out again because he'd spent all that money.

I'm mid forties and I've always gone half on dates since my twenties.

I agree with PPs that you shouldn't go out with no money, but if you like him just rearrange for after you've been paid.

To all those who think that women shouldn't pay on dates, a genuine question. If you had a son and a daughter, both aged 17 and still at school (so still getting pocket money), would you give your son more than your daughter, with the assumption that he will have to pay when he takes a girl out e.g. to the cinema, and she will be paid for?
I see men and women as being equal, and the default position should be taking turns or splitting the bill. If one is much richer than the other, then maybe that one can treat the other more often, but there's no way that a man dating a woman who earns a similar income should have to pick up the bill all the time.

Illegal to go out without money?? How would that be enforced?

If a guy asks me to split a bill on the first couple of dates I would probably stop seeing him because it doesn't bode well for the relationship.

Looks like some men have had a lucky escape from you then!

So the way to redress the gender pay gap is for women to date only men who will look after them financially, like they're 'the little woman'? Hmmm, weird logic.
To answer your question tho OP, you need money not just to pay for drinks but to keep yourself safe if you need a cab etc. If he really likes you then honesty can't hurt, ask to go out after your pay day, or as others have said, suggest something that costs nothing. If he's worth going out with in the first place, he'll understand.

I'd never go out anywhere with no money! Plus, I also think it's a bit much to expect him to pay for everything even if he's asked you out (different of course if you offer to go dutch ir get a round in and he refuses).

I'll be honest about the reason I always insist on paying half.

Not only do I believe I should pay my way, I also don't want the man to think I'm beholden to him and he can 'expect' some repayment in kind.

There was only one occasion where I didn't get to pay anything (not for want of trying though). The meal was paid for on his account at the restaurant and he set up a tab on his card as soon as we went to the pub. When I refused to sleep with him later on that night he got very aggressive and listed everything he'd paid for! Total cunt.