Going on a date with NO money?

[HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld]

My friend thinks it is acceptable to go on a date with 0 in my pocket.

I have a new guy in my life and he has invited me out tonight, I literally have 0 in my account until Monday so I declined. Whilst I believe that if a guy invites you out he should pay I wouldn't ever leave the house without money, you just don't know what will happen.

She is telling me I am being stupid and I will lose him if I keep declining dates, its only been twice.

What do you think about this?

I don't see a problem with the person doing the asking doing the paying.

So I'd make sure I asked the next time.

That way I'm not sitting there like a Victorian maiden waiting for the phone to ring.

OP, did you reschedule?

Reasons why men might pay if they are the one who invites a woman on a date (other than 'the having of a penis' ):

• they are choosing where to go and what to do if they plan the date, so they are setting the budget without checking if she's comfortable with it
• on average, men get paid approximately 20% more than women, so have more disposable income

I agree you shouldn't go if you don't have any cash to buy a round or get a cab home, but if you like him definitely make a follow up date. "I can't tonight but I am free Wednesday' sort of thing.

I agree that the person who asks should pay......... Nothing to do with if that person is the man or the woman!

However, I don't think you should go with no money.

Just say "I can't make it, how about (another date)?", when you will have some £?

I wouldn't go out without having any money either. You can't assume they will pay, and at least you should offer.

• on average, men get paid approximately 20% more than women, so have more disposable income

At a population level. Not really applicable when it comes to individuals.

But op didn't say this guy had "planned the date and chosen where to go", notagiraffe, he just asked her did she fancy going out?

The male deciding where the date will take place belongs in the same era 1950's as the male footing the entire bill.

Men earn more than women. We're the ones who have to wear stupid shoes and push-up bras. If a guy asks me to split a bill on the first couple of dates I would probably stop seeing him because it doesn't bode well for the relationship. He's clearly not concerned with impressing me. He's not a long lost professional colleague.

God, this is a depressing thread.

- on average, men get paid approximately 20% more than women, so have more disposable income

Also I don't think it's as clear cut there are factors, but also, OP may earn more than the man asking.

I think it's BS that men should pay, as men ask for a date the majority of the time, and I would hope that some women don't see it as them doing men a favour going out with them so need to essentially paid to go out with them. It should be a mutual thing

mumof one 'We're the ones who have to wear stupid shoes and push-up bras.' No we don't! Why do you think we have to do that?

The Equal Pay Act ensures men and women get equal pay for doing the same job. Some women earn more than men because some women have high powered professional roles and some men clean the streets.
Some men earn more than women for much the same reason.
Anyone who expects men to fund them on a night out is a grasping gobshite.

Men earn more than women. We're the ones who have to wear stupid shoes and push-up bras. If a guy asks me to split a bill on the first couple of dates I would probably stop seeing him because it doesn't bode well for the relationship. He's clearly not concerned with impressing me. He's not a long lost professional colleague.

Except not all men do, you choose to wear push up bra and heels. " doesn't bode well for the relationship" meaning continuously spending money on you, and you apparently nothing for him.

OP I'd have done the same as you in this situation. Do you really like him? If so rearrange for when you'll have some money to take - however I do agree with a PP on not giving this as a reason.

Never go on a date with no money. This isn't an established relationship and you never know what might happen.

Even if you are a person who will do their best to get the other person to pay what about money for a taxi if you need to escape in a hurry?

mumofone, that's shameful. I imagine you get the sort of dates that you deserve then, where you're some sort of chattel. Good for you and thank you for taking these men off the market for those of us that wouldn't give them the time of day.

Fucking hell this thread could set equality back 200 years. It's embarrassing!

I know we don't HAVE to wear the stupid shoes and bras, I was being tongue in cheek. I mean the rest though, but I understand your points too. You date how you want and I'll date how I do.

I think as a point of personal safety you should never go out without at least the means of getting home safely in either a cab or bus/train fare. Any kind of emergency could occur.

Equal pay act has not redressed the balance. Women are still paid significantly less than men

If he finds out you have come with no money he will be unimpressed. There are people around who are sponging parasites. Don't give the impression of being one.

If you tell him before accepting that you have no money so would feel more comfortable giving it a miss today, then he is likely to be OK with it. But I think it would be poor to do this if it is someone new you have not been out with a few times before. With a new person you might also be less likely to invite them round for spag bog instead.

fullfact.org/economy/UK_gender_pay_gap/

And I repeat for the benefit of mum, that's at a population level, not an individual level.

I think you did the right thing.
You can't go out with someone assuming they will pay.