Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

I'll have to read and catchup but I'm all over the place right now and could do with opinions... Finally met MrNaughty fri night. And in RL he is wonderful. Not perfect but definitely a good 8 at least, although conversation still does generally go straight to the gutter. Anyway. V close to moose burgers. But I felt I'd be too cross if he didn't come back and it ended up a one night thing. He almost came over late last night but I didn't reply in time, and this afternoon we're going for a walk but he's coming here first. Fairly clear what he wants, but I think the only way ill know if it's more is to hold off. I'm way overthinking this aren't I...

tsonly & destinys I feel like the men I am meeting think they're ready to graduate from Internet porn into real life, and OLD is like the catalogue. They can't all be like that, can they? Maybe I'm too insecure/delicate...

Slowly what a brilliant description! Sadly I think a lot of men do see OLD like that. If you genuinely like him then I'd hold off for as long as possible. But if that is all he wants, he'll be off and onto the next one regardless of how long you wait.

Hi can you help me with a dating dilemma? I have started speaking to a new man on a dating site we get along well. After a few chats he said I think you may know my ex wife and I believe you are FB friends? He had noticed me commenting on her posts in the past.

My dilemma is do I go on a date with him...the lady in question I grew up with, we don't see each other socially and once in a blue moon bump into each other at Tesco and stop for a chat. I did not recognise him as her ex husband as I didn't ever see them as a couple but was aware when she married him and also when they split a couple of years ago.

Would you go on a date knowing that you knew his ex wife and also if it developed it could be awkward for others (thinking of my mum if she bumped into the ex's mum)

Thank you Roo He's suggested a big centre, nearer him, which has lots of eateries/bars. It's about a 35 min drive for me, but he's been away overnight, which was quite a distance, so I don't mind doing the trip. Just waiting for him to get back and confirm time.
I'm soooo nervous. Nearly met someone last week, but with in 2 hours of them asking, they had changed their mind. That's not helping on the anxiety front

I would personally avoid that situation LadyLambkin, but it depends how invested you feel already. Do you know much about the situation/post-marriage relationship - i.e. Can you sense how she might react to it, if it all? Not that she has any right or reason to be weird about it; I just prefer to avoid drama or awkwardness, if at all possible!

Lady I don't really know what to advise you about that situation TBH. Of course he has a right to date other pp now but if it is going to cause you unpleasantness it might not be worth it? As pp above said, do you know anything about how it ended and if they are still on good terms?

lady I don't know what to advise either. If it was someone who were friends with on Facebook but never saw in real life it would be a different matter. I agree with quarter and destiny it would depend on how things are with his ex wife.

I'd be delighted if my ex met someone else and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In fact i was thrilled when he told me he met someone new but he made her up to see how I'd react - sorry I'm digressing here!

I'd feel awkward with that one tbh lady. Have you decided what to do.
destiny your idea of all jumping ship is very tempting, but the ball will just keep rolling without us, meaningless sex and bolting will continue.
I've noticed a distinct lack of men wanting to chat at the moment. Literally just 'boom' here's my number, the effort needed for them to engage is just becoming less and less. I've just got this message 'I like what I see and read in your profile here is my number'....and he's really ugly. The arrogance of some of them is unbelievable. I was so close to deleting the all profiles and giving up on OLD at the moment. It's depressing, but it's something to look at when I bored.

Than you destinys that was exactly what I needed to hear.
Had a brilliant afternoon. He's gone from an 8 to a 9.5 out of 10 . He is enlightened, considerate and open. And hot.
lady I would go on the date. Maybe then have a think about whether you should mention it to her as things progress. Or if you bump into her... Personally I'd be delighted if my ex found happiness. And he (&you) have every right.
Hope it went well Mrs Fluff

prizey don't give up yet!

Prizey I'm in the same boat as you & temped to jump ship... (Ooohhh there's a real sea vessel theme starting here.... )Starting to wonder of there really ARE plenty more fish in the sea! (Get me)
Owl-guy pretty silent all weekend ( I know, I know, it's the weekend, he's probably out getting a life or laid and I'm feeling a bit
I really want to tell you all what the 32 messages guy's parting shot was... Any takers?
Also my neighbour has randomly offered to babysit on Wed night 'in case I want to go out with one of these guys' -(told her I'd been on Ok Stupid) - But I don't have anyone lined up! How depressing!

Thanks for the replies ..I'm thinking the fact I am asking for advice shows that's maybe it might be more hassle than its worth? Another thing putting alarm bells in my head is that he said she would go nuts if she knew he was on a dating site...that statement alone makes me wonder. I think I'm just going to leave this one well alone

Thanks Slowly but he cancelled. He was back late from the weekend away with his kids. He's asked to rearrange, so I'll give him another chance, but only the one!

Mr Filthy is still messaging regularly. We've both stepped back from the extremely flirty, bordering on filthy, messages - back more to chatty/slightly flirty.

This is all driving me slightly deranged and I'm only 2 weeks into OLD!!!

I've jumped ship! Can't take it any more. Bitter & twisted dicks on every corner. Probably the same in RL though! Oh, now I sound bitter & twisted! Maybe I am. I'll probably be back on it by Wednesday.

Ooooh TeX before you leave us we need to know what 32 messages parting shot was?

I'm thinking of giving up too. Not a single match on tinder is rather demoralising

lady it does send alarm bells ringing, and if it's going to be problems from the start is it worth it?

I've had a couple of dates and been invited out this week but I just can't find anyone I click with. Told my friend with benefits that I can't see him no more as well.

Why is dating so hard?

OurMiracle I really don't know why dating is so hard but wish I did!
Hue I've deleted my profile so not word for word but after all the messages (most of which were utter bollocks) he wrote something like 'Although I admire your sharp wit & forthrightness, I don't think we'd get on in general. Good luck on your dating journey & FFS.... Go vegan!
We'd been messaging for about 3 hours (or he had)
What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

tex block And move on or as I once did block change my number and move on

I actually got asked by a guy if I would consider going older. Generally yes but he was 40 years older so that would be a no.

I've also ignored any profiles with the words just looking for fun in

I have no idea? Sometimes they're just bizarre. I am so close to giving up on the whole thing. My confidence isn't great as it is & old is undermining any that I do have

Hue for a start you are fabulous online dating isn't great. I've been on and off it for a while and it's still hard sometimes to not take things personally

Someone said to me the other day ' so how come someone as pretty as you ends up on here?'
Perhaps some men think that all women on OLD are desperate & we've 'ended up' there as a last resort do we're willing to put up with their ridiculous comments/cock shots/ghosting etc.....

Yeah, miracle surprised how it's actually flattened my confidence not the opposite... I think that's pretty common sadly

I hate the question, "why are you single"
Erm, first of all, why are you? And secondly, because I've not met the right guy and I'm not willing to settle for another shitty relationship!!