Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Has anyone heard from last? I'd like to know how she is getting on.
loo I've asked to meet again for some tea. I was nervous.

Date tomorrow is offering to pick me up before we go out for tea then drop me home ..would you considering only 2nd date?
I guess would be perfect opportunity for a kiss

Wow, you lot have been busy I got offered the job for the interview I went on (my first interview in nearly 18 years) and they wanted me to start asap and have been busy ever since. Need to try and catch up in my lunch break.
Anyway I have a date this Saturday yay. He seems nice, we've chatted on the phone but keeping an open mind. My question is, is kissing snogging allowed on the first date???

Thisis totally agree to let him come to you - he sounds keen (and sweet!) so I'm sure he'll message soon! Then you'll know it's because he's keen on you (rather than relying on you to make moves and going along with them like a half-assed guy - a wheat from chaff sorting move!)

Haveto I don't agree that there are different rules for OLD - I think it's just down to guys either being decent and straightforward (however you meet them) or being annoying flakes/not wanting anything serious/having issues etc (or other than that and less excitingly being not that into you - bah!) I went out with a flakey OLD guy this year, ended it, he begged for another chance, then was a flake again so I just let him flake the eff off! New OLD guy (my OI risk) has been a total next date planner from the get go and I met him online! (Nb we have only had one date - reality check! But we've planned the next two)

Sorry if these are a bit out of date, just catching up on the thread!

Anyone joining me in ridiculous heart-stammering over-investment corner? Prosecco is chilled and ready to pop!

curly Snogging is absolutely allowed!

I broke all the first date rules on Saturday!

newsparkly What makes you say he's not your type? He sounds lovely!

louisa Are you thinking he might have 'intentions' in picking you up from your house? If you're not comfortable with that i would meet him out (i.e. Make your own way) or just be ready to go and don't invite him in!

Thank you KittenCatkins123! I'm struggling not to do my usual (pre-marriage) protection thing of sending a message to politely stop things. I'm so bad at going with the flow and not misinterpreting silence.

kittencatkins123 he is older (and looks it) and is nice lol I think I'm just nervous. He was a bit offish last night so perhaps not always nice lol

No not at all he offered to pick me up at 6.30 and table booked for 6.45 ..
He hasn't been forward in the slightest with me..
I think with bad experiences in the past in paranoid but he hasn't been anything but nice.
As he is driving we aren't drinking tonight so that makes me more nervous
After the first date he said I was funny and he had a brill time ..I'm worried incase I'm not as funny when I'm sober
Also worrying if he will kiss me..what if I panic argh
Would you believe I'm nearly 31 and behaving like this ..

Louisa- he sounds really nice, as do you! I'm sure he'll still find you funny when you're sober I worry will they want to kiss me..........and I worry that they won't!!

Hi everyone. I have reactivated my account on Match, after having had a break from it for a couple of weeks. I had received a ton of attention before, probably due to the fact that I only had glam photos on there. I acted on the great advice I got on here, which was to include some different, realistic shots. Now the attention is slower and more measured, ha! at least this way I won't have to feel nervous about disappointing on the first date!

I am wondering where you stand with physical attraction. What if, say, a guy messages you and sounds nice … but you really don't feel attracted to them from their photos. Is there any point in going for a date? I'm not shallow, but if not grabbed by their looks, I'd have to feel connected at least by personality or humour. What if they were nice, but you didn't feel any great spark … leave it, or go for a date in the hope that real life would be different?
Still very new to this, so your expertise would be appreciated! Thanks

Hi Dieu. I hope Match works well for you this time round.

I think there has to be some sort of attraction, when you see their photos, else I don't see the point. There are lots of perfectly nice people out there, but I think know you need to fancy them - if the situation were reversed, I wouldn't want them to waste my time.
Mr Nice, who I've met up with a few times, isn't my normal sort, but I did like him from his photos and I do fancy him in person.

Dieu-I would go for the date anyway as with me it takes a few dates to know if I fancy them..
Thankyou mrsfluff I think il have 1 glass of wine before I go then 1 cocktail whilst having tea and he can have his lemonade as he is driving
My legs will be out tonight (well black tights)
You know I like someone when I'm planning my outfit ha ha

Lol, it sounds like you have it all planned Louisa, I'm sure you'll have a fab time!!

Apart from Mr Nice, I'm chatting to 2 others on Match. Now someone I chatted with a couple of weeks a go has got in touch again - bother/don't bother with him??

Thanks for advice about Mr Walker. I've had brief chat and said I have doubts but he's acting like everything will be ok. I just don't see how a relationship can really form from a penpal situation, and it would be that situation for lots of years.

Plus reading this I'm regretting not trying more dating. I chatted to lots of potential irons but then just dated the one.

Good luck with all the upcoming dates!

lilac I'm worried I'm doing the same so trying to stay chatting to more than one person but it's hard.

Has anyone ever worried they aren't intelligent enough for someone? Just got into a political debate over whatsapp with One-date-guy and I'm worried I made no sense/there were eight trillion holes in my argument

I think I'm fairly intelligent (think!) but he's first at university level

Also I have had !

Back from my date ..had a kiss (no tounge )
Literally just text him saying next time we need tounge action
He is saying will there be a 3rd time
We've agreed Monday
I'm starting to really fancy him

Kitten I have a degree but it only helps me on the very specific area I know. I'd struggle with a political debate on anything, so don't knock yourself with new date.

Mr Walker is continuing to reassure me, but I've got to keep level-headed. Sometimes situations take over life so it's not possible to have the life you want.

Louisa your date sounds fun. That's what I'm missing I think, fun dates where there's potential for more in easy way. Have fun

loo I've asked to meet again for some tea. I was nervous.

And .... ? Have you set a date Evil?

So my Toyboy has been so intense the last couple of days. So off-putting We're still talking but tbh, probably just because it's nice to be having some attention. Should I tell you all that when drunk on Weds night, he whatsapp'd saying he loves me Cringe

loo no I've not set any more time together, with mr friend zone. He's lost his job and I feel bad for asking him to come up, even though I can't sense any chemistry (he says there is). He's a nice guy, but I don't have that attractiveness to him. He is however a godsend to talk to.

It's not helped that I saw mr no commitment, and I still have feelings for him, not a little bit but he's the first thing I think of when I go to bed and wake up.
Just to let you know I only saw mr no commitment in the mall, I didn't do anything. I know he saw me as he tried to change direction, (it was the ultimate fail, cause that's how I know it's him) it was as he was trying to hide from me as he was scared/panicked.

must chant rule 14.

Yes I saw that update Evil what a prize twat!

I think it's a given that some of us want what we can't have ... just makes us want it more. The thing you have to tell yourself though, is why would you want to waste your time thinking of or spending with some idiot that walks in the opposite direction to you ... remember your worth

And keep repeating rule number 3 to yourself

Mr Sexyvoice has cancelled on me 😒

Banty that sucks - did he do it decently and apologise or not? Any hope of rearranging?

Hope the reason it's so quiet on here today is because you're all out on fab dates

I met Mr Millions last night (offer of south of france or whistler) and actually think he might be genuine. Why do I doubt what he tells me more than Mr Hurt who is a civil engineer, just because more money (which doesn't interest me) is involved??

Anyway going on a walk with Mr Millions tomorrow and out for a few drinks with Mr Hurt - two in one day - who have I become ?

Not sure of a spark with either but both will be second dates and will hopefully clarify things one way or another. Question for you - do I tell them about each other? I don't do I??

Happy dates for any of you out tonight

Forme - he has a condition that is only going to get worse. I knew about it but wasn't overly phased by it. He's decided it wouldn't be fair on me. We're staying in touch...

Lilac thanks so much for that reassurance! In the end it turned out he'd fallen asleep and wasn't appalled by my lack of political insight! I think it's because I dated a guy with a 1st before (he was also an awful person) and he basically used to test me on things and make me feel stupid. Also can you explain the pen pal thing with your guy as I can't find it on the thread?

Evil That man sounds like an utter twat! I do understand though - I've been there so many times. I'm trying to have a rule of not pursuing anyone half assed (i.e. never double texting, moving on to someone else if they aren't getting back) and no sex with anyone who messes me around. Last guy I saw was a total flake so I can't be going through that again!

Tonight though I'm having a date with my lovely cat!

Hope you are all good