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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

999 replies

PrizeyPrize · 20/09/2016 20:17

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP
OP posts:
BaklavaBalaclava · 09/10/2016 10:41

Well done Mrs you star! 3 times you say!!!

Am meeting Mr Accidental online flirting with a work colleague (not the snappiest of names, but I am still finding it very funny) tomorrow to discuss the work issues/see if we get on IRL. Bit scared!

Oh dear looby that sounds awful... well done for getting out of there so fast!

LabradorMama · 09/10/2016 10:57

Mrsfluff YOU BLOODY DEVIL !!! Grin

LabradorMama · 09/10/2016 11:03

Baklava Good luck, don't forget to update!
Evil I say steer clear, if he can be that full on and then nothing at all he sounds like bad news
Blank If you really like the sound of him why not reply with a friendly 'no worries, good luck' message and give it a few days, see if he keeps in touch?

My three deep Southerners has reduced to two, the stinking rich one and the relocating further north one. Tentative date arranged with the latter on Wednesday night, will keep you posted.

LabradorMama · 09/10/2016 11:08

Oh and those two that favourited me last week then ignored my message have both been checking out my profile again. What the heck is the reason for this??

QuarterMileAtATime · 09/10/2016 11:30

Evil: I thought that's what 'last seen' meant for ages, but I think it just means the last time they used Whatsapp...

QuarterMileAtATime · 09/10/2016 11:32

Here: www.whatsapp.com/faq/en/general/20971848

I turned mine off in Settings so people can't see when I was last using it. It saves my sanity when others have it off too!

BantyCustards · 09/10/2016 11:32

Can I join?

OurMiracle1106 · 09/10/2016 12:25

On the Whatsapp note if you click on the message then on info it will tell you not only when it was delivered but also when it was read

The blue ticks are also the same purpose. When the ticks go from grey to blue it means they have read it. However it is possible to turn this off in your settings

(Runs away and hides)

BantyCustards · 09/10/2016 13:03

I've been single for most of this year. Had my heart ripped in half by a man I loved very much - we'd been together several years.

I just recently dipped my toe back in the water and have been talking to someone for a month. I like him. He finally asked for a date last night. I'm petrified, but I've said 'yes'

There's been the odd bit of innuendo but nothing overly sleazy, we like a lot of the same things and want the same things on the surface of it.

It's just that my fuckwit radar is seriously broken going on every relationship I've ever had (controlling at best and downright psychologically abusive at worst). I do not want to end up like that again.

Mrsfluff · 09/10/2016 13:09

Ooh, good luck for tomorrow Baklava!!

I don't understand why they do that either Labrador.

Hi Banty, that sounds like a good start and you should have plenty to chat about. Just don't put to much pressure on yourself, although I can understand why you feel anxious.

BantyCustards · 09/10/2016 13:25

He left me a voice message today. I'm going to refer to him as MrSexyVoice

Mrsfluff · 09/10/2016 13:27

Hmm, that's sounds promising Banty Wink

BantyCustards · 09/10/2016 13:54

And it's a 'go' for a daytime date in the city next Sunday.

Right, I'm terrible at spotting red flags unless they are gigantic.

Anyone want to help me avoid another abusive trap with helpful suggestions?

SuperFlyHigh · 09/10/2016 14:53

Labrador favourite and ignore then check you out mean "game players!" Or they're not sure about you, what they want etc.

Banty that date sounds good. Red flags? Refer to opening post! For me game players (not coming back to you, too much chemistry etc) are big ones.

With me: supposed to meet Italian Stallion today but it's a trek into the west end he's moved his office near my office so I suggested yesterday we meet up for lunch or a drink next week. He's gone quiet on that, wants to meet, maybe thinks I am game playing which I'm not.

Widower, checked his FB profile (anonymously) and found out his wife died this time last year which is very sad, I also found not sure how to go with this not a huge thing but he's a church goer and was asking people to pray for them etc. I'm (convent school background, Protestant) also not really into religion. Not atheist but not a church goer, don't mind church goers just I don't think it's me... As a church going friend said to me yesterday see where it goes if he's on Tinder and not mentioned it he probably isn't bothered. Nice updates... From him, Widower, nice man, has a child but that's fine. Seems open to new relationship. Don't want it to be frying pan into fire but sure not cAse.

3rd tinder man has gone quiet but not really my type, I think, and 7/8 age gap (he's younger).

Baklava Mr accidental flirting sounds good... Why not meet him?! Good luck.

Evil I hate whatsapp and the blue grey tick malarkey. Sometimes it isn't 100% fail safe either.

Louisajohnson224 · 09/10/2016 15:25

Hello can I join in please?
I'm off on a tinder date,meeting him at 4 in a pub.
He seems funny and normal so far
I'm dead nervous

loobyloo1234 · 09/10/2016 15:27

Hi Louisa - just saw your other post. I'm glad you're going. Good luck - let us know how you get on Smile

Mrsfluff · 09/10/2016 15:34

I hope you have fun .

Mrsfluff · 09/10/2016 15:35

Sorry, that was to Louisa!

Mrsfluff · 09/10/2016 15:38

Hi Blank, I've just seen your post. I probably would put any more energy into pursuing that one. A for your age and weight, I'm knocking on 40 and and overweight by more than 2 stone, so please don't write yourself off!! Smile

BantyCustards · 09/10/2016 16:19

Good luck, Louisa I hope he turns out to be a good 'un

QuarterMileAtATime · 09/10/2016 16:36

Labrador - Just a thought but maybe when you messaged them the timing wasn't great - I.e. They're dating someone and not in the best place to respond to messages. Then that fizzles out and they look at people they're interested in again?

RooDaisy · 09/10/2016 17:32

Howdy all. My RL guy is going well, he stayed over on Sunday and then again on Thursday. My Nan passed away on Friday morning, totally unexpectedly and he was still here. He was lovely and then really nice on text during the day.
He took me out last night which involved lots of wine, tears, talking and laughing.
I don't want to rush into anything especially now but then I also think he is lovely, I really like him, it's reciprocated so I'm going to enjoy myself. Life really is short.

I'm devastated by the loss of my Nan. She really was my best friend but I think maybe she's watching over me and sent me a good guy for a change.

I'll keep you posted

loobyloo1234 · 09/10/2016 17:36

Oh Roo Flowers So sorry to hear about your Nan Sad

Lovely that he was there for you. Some men do not seem to be able to cope with us emotional women so that's a good start?

My Toyboy is messaging me ... asking if were now dating Confused Aargh ... I do like him though. Not sure what to reply as I definitely don't want this to be an official thing just yet. Not after 2 weeks Hmm

RooDaisy · 09/10/2016 17:48

Thanks looby
I think it's a good sign too. He's been lovely.
I've just deleted okstupid cos I think this has got potential and is going to go somewhere but slowly slowly. There's nothing happening on there anyways.

RE toyboy, tell him you don't want to label anything and that you just want to see what happens and enjoy yourself.

Did anything come of your RL encounter?

Mrsfluff · 09/10/2016 18:07

So sorry to hear about you nan Roo, sounds like you have someone supportive there, which is lovely though.

Looby, he sou D's keen, which isn't necessarily bad - he's certainly upfront. If he likes you though, he'll be happy go at your pace.

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