Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Thanks destiny we did and he is lovely!!

Slightly off topic but did anyone see first dates last night?! It was so cute, I've just watched it on catch up and had a little happy cry!! Would anyone dare go on or has anyone been on it??

Oooh Roo - sounds promising?

I'm off on my 2nd date with the Toyboy tomorrow ... eek ... he has planned this one. And still seems keen waiting until he ghosts me which is inevitable right?

Yeah, I hope so looby, I'll keep you posted obvs

And no, of course he's not gonna ghost you. He certainly seems keen and at the end of the day, if he's mature and you like him who gives a fuck how old he is.
Think someone said up thread as long as you're having fun, enjoy yourself and don't think too much into it.
Do you know where he's taking you tomorrow??

I think so yep ... not set in stone ... it's something fun though which is nice. I feel like someone older wouldn't suggest it put it that way. Which I actually quite like

Anyway, fingers crossed it goes OK. Also talking to someone I met at weekend ... buses hey?

Looby no we haven't met just been messaging. He's replied now saying he's had a shit day but hasn't answered my question. Problem with me is I always give them the benefit of the doubt but they're usually not worth it. I like this one though, he makes me laugh

Hue it's so frustrating isn't it! The chap I was messaging with for about a week was away at the end of last week/weekend. I messaged him yesterday and no reply, but he'd read it. So this afternoon I messaged basically saying I hope he was OK, it seemed like he'd moved on, it had been fun, take care. So an easy out for him and a line drawn for me. He replied, saying he'd been busy, was OK and hadn't moved on!?! Now I'm puzzled!!

Hello! Can i join in?

I've just started to take the plunge. Struggling with the idea that I have multiple irons. I can see why, but anyone got any tips on not feeling bad about it?

Have been on 4 dates with one person IRL - and now not sure if I'm being ghosted - not heard anything since he told me he'd be in touch to sort out date number 5 (Date 4 was on Sunday)

I'm probably not ready to actually date yet anyway - I just like the thought of having options!

Hello everybody! I'm seconding RL RooDaisy!

My photographer from a fortnight ago is coming back to spend time with me on Friday after things got a bit heated last time he was round to work on my photos

But I'm more excited about my adorable barman who opened up to me about his feelings for me during the mariage we both attended over a week ago. He's much younger than me and I have no idea where this is going but I do know that he's one of the only men recently who has shown real interest in me and isn't just interested in physical attraction or the fact that I'm a fairly good listener. We should be going out for a drink next week, busy schedules permitting. He's keen, I'm keen, so fingers crossed.

So after some more messages with my hot/cold/hot guy, I've asked him if we're ever planning on meeting or are we the modern day equivalent of penpals!! I just need to know now. I am a prize and at 39 I'm too old for this fannying around

Go on MrsF I can't be doing with fannying around either

thisis if you like him and it feels good, go for it. I like how you've got 2 on the go, it's good to have a plan b!! Keep us posted....

It's all getting very exciting on here!!

baklava hello and welcome.
How did you leave Sunday's date? Do you usually message every day? Could you message him to see if he replies?

Quite right too Mrsfluff!

Baklava I struggle with the multiple irons too, it feels like I'm being disingenuous which is ridiculous, I've made no promises to them but it still feels weird!

Gearing up to message MrHipster

So I asked............and he said yes!! Now to actually make some plans. He's frustrating, flirty, funny and I fancy him far too much!!!!! I need to meet him before I combust

Yay MrsF!

Hello all, can I join? After just over a year since splitting with DS' dad I've just starting to dip my toe into OLD. Been at it a month now and I'm learning fast! Met one lovely guy but no spark, had one date cancel and a couple of gorgeous men who've favourited me back but not replied to a message

I'm finding it so demoralising! Last time I was single I was a prize catch and fighting them off but age has taken its toll and I'm feeling distinctly crap about myself. Most of the men who get in touch are either loads older than me or loads younger, anyone nice is too far away or doesn't have children (I want a man with children as I can't have any more)

Reading this thread has made me realise I'm not alone and it's cheered me up no end, I'm looking forward to reporting back if I ever get another date!!

I've been on OK stupid for approximately 5 weeks & still haven't been on an actual date!
But reading this has made me not feel too fussed....
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/internet-daters-to-get-basic-normality-guidelines-20161003114695

Labradormum
I feel the same! Demoralising is spot on. Is it really worth it?

“We don’t know why our users are such arseholes. They may think it’s a game and they’re basically collecting Pokemon they can shag.”

👆this is spot on. Perfect description. Thanks tex

labrador I totally empathise. I have exactly the same problem. Especially Most of the men who get in touch are either loads older than me or loads younger, anyone nice is too far away or doesn't have children (I want a man with children as I can't have any more)

Tex, I'm 4 weeks in and no meet ups yet!

Labrador, I seem to attract men from miles and miles away, 27 year olds.......or perves/weirdos!?! I'm a relatively normal 39 year old and I've been honest in my write up, so it's a bit of a worry

Texfactor I'm starting to think not, I might take a little break from it. In fact I need to as I find myself getting addicted to checking Match regularly to see if anyone half decent has turned up!

Prizey It's so unfair! I feel like saying 'read my bloody profile, I'm not looking for you!' And even worse are the gorgeous ones at the other end of the country - that's just tortuous!!

Mrsfluff I'm 34 and have been attracting a lot of men in their early 20s, despite saying I want someone 35plus, I just can't understand it. Are they looking for a mummy replacement??

And then there are the horny 59 year olds ....

Why the fuck do men favourite you back but not respond to a message? WHY??

Labrador I DON'T KNOW but it drives me mental too!

So I was brave and messaged MrHipster:

"Hey you, you've gone quiet. Hope it's because of busyness and not because you're in pain. On the off chance it's because you've decided you're not interested, I just wanted to say thanks for popping my Tinder cherry and for the chat and drunken sexual revelations - I had fun. If you are still intrigued, I'm child free this weekend and was gathering the brave to ask if you wanted to meet for a coffee or a drink, so if you do then let me know. If not, good Tinderhunting and take care of you xx"

That's ok yeah? Doesn't sound too stalky or desperate? I mean I've sent it now so I'm bollocksed if it does but it's a learning curve...

labrador I know it's so annoying, I've added to my profile 'please be realistic, if you live over an hour away it's not going to be feasible for us to meet regularly, and please take a note of my age preferences' it has helped a bit. Ewwww the horny 59 year olds.... and the young ones....I don't think it's a mummy replacement, I think it's just on their bucket list to shag an older woman, I'm convinced of it.
At least with Tinder or Bumble they can only contact you if you like them, and you can set the age and distance categories. Although in saying that, I have loads of matches but no messages or responses....what is that all about, why swipe right?