Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Hi all. Been a bit absent as busy but sorry some of us are having weirdness with daters. My vtall mrwoodsman has gone almost totally silent since mooseburgers last sat morning after our amazing wild camping date- was all fine until I made a fairly innocent remark via text about how he always has a glass of wine in his hand. I did wonder whether he had a drinking problem and this has confirmed it I think. Good job I found out before seeing him again and getting more attached! Bullet dodged.

mrvw has been on the sidelines for weeks, we've chatted on and off but have really had fun this last week. Seeing him Friday night, if nothing else he really makes me properly laugh and so we'll have a good night even if there is no spark. Although i think there is, for me anyway. He's hot as a very hot thing and have totally stalked his ass online so I trust his photos . We'll see. He lives a long way away and we each have children but opposite weekends, but Friday will be fun.

Then there is theyoungster. A real life person who is 14 years my junior . I am 40, he is 26.

And not my usual type at all, small and dark and quite slender. But very self assured and confident in himself, which totally is my type. We met through a common interest and met up for a coffee yesterday- he made it very clear what he was after and it wasn't a hobby...

I'm not looking for a relationship or romance, just dating and fun and friendship as still finding my feet after coming out of a 20yr marriage so this fwb idea isn't a problem for me but...26 !!! My ego has been well and truly massaged haha. Will have to think more on it. He's text a fair bit so I know he's keen!

Love hearing of all our exploits, just hope that the more positive ones are just round thw corner x

I'll see your 7 years age-gap Looby and raise you 7....!

UpYer - as in he is 14 years younger? Go you Tbh, I clearly have an immature head on my shoulders as I do always seem to date younger guys. The biggest gap so far was 5 years though, so 7 is quite a bit more ... eek

I probably am looking for a relationship, although dating someone nice would be fine for now ... we shall see I guess. He's quite mature from what I can tell

Giving OLD a bit of a break. Ready for a new batch of fresh one's when I feel ready after having 2 ok dates but which amounted to nothing, boringgggg now

So ladies tell me about this flirty texting stuff, oh it's fun, but last time I was dating texts were relatively new and very expensive. Does this only go on till you meet or carry on afterwards.
I did think for a while carguy was only in it for the flirty texts until last night when I had a terrible night at work and frankly all my sparkle had gone and he switched on to lovely supportive texts. Today the flirty texts are back.
Slightly nervous about meeting what if the real me does not live up to the texts.

Very nervously dipping my toe into this thread. Flirting a little with OLD after a breakup with my partner of 6 months - fell into this relationship after separating from my husband, exP was a friend so I am really really rusty at this dating game malarkey.

Currently only on Tinder, had a few matches, couple of convos, one in particular seems very lovely - funny, relaxed, we have a lot in common. Struggling with not wanting to come over too keen whilst not wanting to game-play as its just not me. He hasn't suggested meeting - should I?

destiny
Sounds like a douche. I wouldn't give him another chance.

Azir have you been on more than 1 date with this guy? Can you give him a ring?

Thanks Roo, good to have an objective opinion! Not going to rearrange. Will see if he bothers to or not. Anyway it wasn't a wasted afternoon as I went to my fave charity shops this afternoon and found some good stuff! 😀

Ahhh sickandspan tell me your secret for keeping it at fun???
I'm rubbish at FWB, but my Very Unsuitable says he doesn't do 'no strings' either. We have a 14 year gap as well, he's 32, I'm 46....
Not exactly what I go for physically - but there are v serious sparks - and he's very, very, clever and well-educated which is a huge turn-on for me
And we do have a lot of laughs together.

Not sure if I should date outside it. I don't really want to, but feel I ought to... I'm just rubbish at this lark really!!

Ah Lone that is my fear. Mr Filthy and his texts are bloody fab and I'm definitely giving as good as I get. Yet some messages are just sweet, no smut in sight. Then he was lovely on the phone. But what if we meet and it falls flat!?! Arghhhhhh!!!

Well, I think I'm giving up on OLD for the time being, at least. RL is offering me gifts these days.

I was at a wedding in Normandy this weekend and a young man I've known for a few months now confessed his feelings for me. I was touched by his honesty and courage and also by the fact that my sixth sense had been spot on despite relatively little communication between us; I always see him at his work place so there's been very little time for chatting.

Also, my photographer, who was over last week, returned for another photo session today. I thought we were being terribly good for the first few hours but then..... .

Typical of life, isn't it? Months and months of no action and it happens all at once. Keep hoping ladies. Good stuff is coming your way.

Mrs & lone That's why ime, you should meet sooner rather than later. Do the all important click test.

I've been a cougar in the past but have been sensible this past year (no action) but reading looby and upyer makes me think maybe I should put my cougar hat back on and start playing again

Well done on the charity shop finds destiny, I love a good chazza shop bargain.

I'm chatting to Mr Academic, not my usual type but seems nice so I'm thinking I'm going to date him and beard man on Sunday!

Mr Shy is still on the scene (the only one) and we have our third date tomorrow Which he instigated after going weird for 2 days. I've given him the benefit of the doubt this time but if it happens again I will bring it up.

So far it's all fun. I can't believe how well we get on. We just mess about all day on text it's so fun. Actual laughing out loud.we haven't really had many serious moments although on our last date we did go a bit deeper than usual but texts seem to be the fun bit. We play games, mess about, Snapchat and silly links/music all day

Roo! TWO dates in one day! 😆 go you!!

I love that kind of interaction myuser - it's great fun :)

Ooh lots of action on here and lots of upbeatness! I love it.
myuser sounds brilliant and you sound so happy with Mr shy!
destiny my favourite ever past time is charity shops.....beats a first date anytime!
upyer no harm in dating on the side if you have agreed it's a FWB situation.
this....sounds like RL is coming up trumps for you! I'd love to meet someone out of OLD....sigh.
fluff & lone get those dates set up!
roo sounds like you have a busy Sunday ahead! Love it!
Well after my latest cougaresque ways....I've decided to try my hand at the other end of the scale and am chatting to someone 8 years older than me (he's tall, broad, looks younger and still looks pretty hot in a sophisticated way). He seems very nice, funny, complimentary, intelligent and respectful. Think I'm just a bit fed up of boys (in my experience, that is) and their game playing so let's see how this one pans out, you don't know till you try I guess. 😉

What are the chances someone who has disappeared twice will resurface?

Well depends. In my experience they come back when they are bored. Why would you want them to come back if they keep disappearing? It's sooooo rude

I know it is rude but I am lonely.
He said he liked me and was coming off tinder as he didnt like it. He said he wasnt up for something serious. Ok fine.

He said he wasnt going to keep dating but I could as although we are compatible I might find someone more so.

He said we really should meet again. Said he'd call me and wanted to come to this festival I wanted to go to weeks away. Then i havent heard since.

Right you need to just go back on OLD and block this idiot. That's a horrible way to treat someone and you deserve better. Don't be a doormat cos you are lonely

No point blocking someone who has vanished....

I am feeling very low atm.

I read a thread on here about a 30 yo being lonely. It said dont wait until you are 38 as you will be fucked. Well I am fucked then and I feel so low.

But if you don't block him he will come back when it suits him and continue to make you feel worse.
Why do you feel so low? His behaviour isn't a reflection of you as a person, those are his issues.
Can you arrange something with friends this weekend and get out of the house? Or them come to you?

Yes. He has never had a realtionship lasting longer than 6 months and he is 35.....says alot.

he did make some sage observations about me though. That I told him alot about myself and suggested that may have been off putting. This was when he resurfaced after a few weeks the first time. Well I am just an open person. he told me alot about him too.

Then he said all that crap and has vanished again. But it has got me thinking perhaps it was all my fault.

I feel low due to age, lack of relationship, no home, job issues. The whole shebang really.

Friends are thin on the ground. Spend weekends with their partners. Not a big circle. I get out of the house but spend alot of time alone.

Ok so maybe concerntrating on new friendships is more healthy for you than finding a relationship right now because even the best relationships need time apart and external friendships to thrive. I found one of my best friendships via a gay, male, 10 years younger neighbour!
Do you have spare time and interests you could explore in hobbies?
Also there is nothing wrong with asking the coupled up friends if they are free for a while this weekend as you need a cheer up.

Don't dwell on this idiot. I had one of them who sounds similar and also went out of his way to point out all my flaws. He ruined my self esteem for a long time. It's quite personal but he told me I was far too dirty in bed to be a girlfriend. I was his girlfriend!!!! and was having fun and trying to make him happy. It felt like he told me I was basically a massive dirty old cow who no one would want because I wasn't pure or clean or something. Awful. It took me a long time to get over that. He also hated me talking about my feelings. God I would rather die alone with my cat now than be with someone like that

There isn't anything wrong with being open but also its ok not to pour your feelings out too soon -you need to trust the person you are telling things too x

It wasnt feelings though. I play my cards close to my vest.

It was just life events really. Everything from uni to work. Just talking. He started a lot of it. By asking me something about myself and it meandered. It was events and things about me, nothing involving feelings or any deep stuff. IYSWIM?

I have enough friends to talk to and a raft of hobbies but I have to be careful re money because of work issues so cant really indulge them.

I cant really put a relationship on hold as I am too old already.

Your ex sounds like a total bastard!