Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

I don't think someone asking why you're single is disrespectful its a standard a-typical whats your situation type thing if you're blocking someone asking something that simple you may well find you'll run out of anyone to talk to in no time at all.

Out of curiosity, what do you think will satisfy you as to opening questions?

You blocked someone for asking you why you're single? Slightly harsh for me

So ... I've agreed to see The Young One on Thursday night ... I'm such a cougar shameless

ciaouverona Okay I'll unblock them. It's just I deleted their message once for asking me if I'd like to 'Do a phone shoot' then they sent me an x and I'd forgotten why I'd deleted them so I blocked them. I have a few messages to get through I feel like I have to reply to most of them and it gets a bit frustrating when you forget what you've told who.

A good opening line for me would be 'hi I'm such and such, we share a common interest' I reply to those.

I just felt it was a bit too direct..we hadn't had any conversation before that

Do a photo shoot*

A photo shoot?? An explicit one I assume, what a load of bollocks. I'd block for that. You don't have to reply to all your messages, just think of it as spam mail. The block button is your friend.

This is the conversation. Shall I unblock him?

Involuntary thats weird, I wouldn't bother with him. A photo shoot?? Go with your gut and your gut said no once.

These are the killer questions for me:
him: hi how are you
me: good thanks. you?
him: yes good thanks. Have you had a good day?
I've just said I'm good.....aaaaagggggh!!!
I wouldn't necessarily block them but it does not fill me with much hope when the conversations goes in this way. I prefer a bit of playfulness and momentum.
Also along the same vein:
him: why are you on here?
him: had much luck on here?
him: how long you been on here?
him: have you been on many dates from here?
him: what are you looking for on here?
I have no idea what bearing this has on getting to know your character or whether the two of you would have a connection and get along? Its weird why it is so often asked.
then there is the usual half-hearted:
him: hi
him: hello
him: how's you?
...yawn

PrizePrize I'm guilty of asking whether they've been on there long :D I'll try and avoid that in the future

Ooh destinys when are you seeing him? Tonight? Hope you have an awesome time
mrsFluff hope he rang back.
Ooh involuntary I'd probably block him actually if he made you feel at all uncomfortable. Have you read WMLB? Well worth it if u haven't You're the prize. Totally up to you what your boundaries are. (I'm still struggling with that but know it's necessary

prizey I don't like those questions either. They generally, if anything, lead to conversations about who you're chatting to/have met/what idiotic things have been said & done, and possibly even a date full of that same kind of chat. Not what im looking for... i want the chat fresh and cheerful/hopeful please

Slowlyslowly what is WMLB? I've just given it a Google and it came back to me with 'voice of the arts radio station'. I have a feeling that's not what you're referring to :D

involuntary Why men love bitches. It's a reminder that you're not supposed to lose yourself in what they want. Well, that's how I interpreted it. V helpful. Someone posted a link that they'd found it free... I think at the start of this thread or at the v end of the last one?

Oh. That link doesn't work. I bought the kindle version. Worth every penny.

looby go for it!!!

slowly I'm going to get that book on my Kindle. I ordered another one recommended on another thread yesterday but I can't remember what it's called

Definitely bock the twat!

Involuntary he should be blocked alone for not putting a ? at the end of "why are you single"

I'm meeting Mr Northern tonight. Seems nice in his messages. Haven't had a date in a few weeks now as am losing interest in the whole thing, so need to get back in the mood!

And typically the nice guy I was going to meet today has cancelled. Yawn.

Block or give another chance? IME it's never a good sign when they cancel. Oh well, will see if he makes any effort in future. I certainly won't bother to rearrange.

Hmm destiny, for me it would depend on how apologetic he was when he cancelled, and how enthusiastic he seems if he gets back to you with an alternative suggestion. I agree, I find cancelling (without suggestion of an alternative) not a great sign.

Hello all. Someone give me a kick up the arse and tattoo number 14 on my forehead. I've gotten excited about something again and been a bit fecked over.

Well on Saturday morning I gave him 3 options of times I was free to meet. He said as he was self employed he could choose his own times and he chose Tues late afternoon. I know last minute work stuff can come up but he was fine when I messaged him this morning!

I just end up v cynical and assuming they are just timewasters when it happens so often!

Azir what's happened?

Oh Destiny - what a twat! Cancelling on the day is always such a let down

Have fun Looby

He didn't ring back Slowly, as he got too busy at work. He has messaged today though, seems he enjoyed our chat!

Hmm, I find the 'how are you?' messages difficult to respond to, they don't give you chance to take the 'conversation ' forward.

He's ignoring me. It's unusual. We're at the stage where we're committed (I thought) but from lack of communication last night (short, sometimes one letter) messages and complete radio silence today I guess somethings up. I hate feeling like this. This and a couple of other things this week have left me feeling like shit. My otherwise impenetrable exoskeleton is slipping a bit and I'm hurting.

I'll see your 7 years age-gap Looby and raise you 7....!
I was seeing him earlier this year and broke it off as I liked him too much.
And then I contacted him, and it's back on as of last weekend.... I'm sure it will end in tears (mine) but god I'd missed him. Keeping a tight rein on things this time round.

aziraphale and hang tough.