NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

Cockwomble is my favourite insult ever! Along with horrendacunt!

ooh say a massive hello to Mama Capes from us

Thanks NoCapes hopefully I can keep it up as well as you did

And can I just say thanks to everyone for giving me the idea and suggestions to make that playlist... It really helps!!!!

Lily Allen - Fuck You is great for when you're building up to facing him.

That is on the playlist! Along with Smile by Lily Allen which is great for that too

Also just changed XP (!!) name in my phone to CuntMonkey

About the not wanting to eat Capes, don't know if it will work for you but I find dead simple, repetitive stuff the easiest when I'm stressed, the same sandwich over and over or cheese on toast, snacky stuff that takes no effort to make or eat. Little and often as well, if you manage half a sandwich 3 or 4 times a day at least you're not running on empty. And cake, obviously, if I can't face anything else I can always face cake. Please look after yourself though, he's not worth letting yourself get run down

CuntMonkey! might change Dickhead to cuntmonkey in my phone although he's been Dickhead so long I might miss it haha

Hope your lo feels better soon and you get some strength back capes. You've gone through a lot, your mind and body need to recover. Take it easy xx

hoorendacunt! sorry that me laugh

heres to nocapes and skye-cheers

Gabs I love it!! That and thundercunt, über twat, and hippocrocopig. Too many years hanging out with ex squaddies has made my insults spectacular I fully agree to the for NoCapes and Skyye ladies, you are both fucking phenomenal women!

thundercunt is also a good one aye

these ladies are inspirations

You are doing amazingly Capes!!! I know it's hard but like others have said, you need to look after yourself too

Thankyou all, sorry I've been quiet, I've been trying to just keep my mind off it tbh
I ate 2 meals today though (well of sorts) and Mama Capes was practically force feeding me cake at her house, says I've visibly lost weight

I feel like it's almost getting harder, the temporary feeling is wearing off now and I'm suddenly going - omg what have I done?!
I woke up to a text off him that just said 'I miss you' and in my bleary eyed 6am state I replied 'I miss you too'
He was surprised ha
But I've been so determined to act like I don't and be all breezy and casual and act like I don't care when realistically of course I'm going to be a bit of a mess, and I've decided that's ok and to just go with it
It doesn't mean I have to go back, just means I have feelings

Still loving my tidy house, empty washing basket and calm kids though, so definitely still positive

And horrendacunt is just excellent

I use it a LOT!!! Well done processing everything so quickly, it took me months! Officially super woman!

Congrats on your resolve NoCapes

You are allowed of course to have wobbles, and feelings, you are human and not superrobotwoman

I'm still shaking from my recent encounter with my über twat...

Sending positive vibes and virtual your way

The dust is settling capes that is all. You are allowed wobbles.

I had moments with my Ex of still loving him/missing him etc. My turning point came when I allowed myself to love him, but also 100% knew I couldn't be in a relationship with him and never would be again. I don't know why it helped me but it really did. It also helped with the kids, I could say quite clearly that I still loved dad but our relationship didn't work/wasn't happy and we wouldn't be getting back together. It seemed kinder to them to hear that rather than all the anger or negativity.

Oh and well done sky. Great work

It a weird way, it's probably a good thing that he knows you miss him.

He now knows that you miss him, but are so utterly fed up of him being a thundercunt that you just aren't prepared to put up with his crap anymore.

That's going to stick in his gut. Knowing that he can't wheedle his way of it with pathetic "I miss yooooooos"

Capes, when we experience a very traumatic event out bodies go into fight or flight mode and produce a surge of adrenaline to help us escape from the lion who is hunting us/ break up from the man who is wrecking us. So all very useful but it also trashes the appetite.

You've done the overdrive thing and done the big escape so now is the time for calm and stillness. Try Headspace for methods of calming the mind and body. Slow everything down and breathe deeply.

Breathing deeply can absolutely transform your feelings of wellbeing. Sorry if that sounds too woo, I'm actually a HCP!

Have the easy and quick foods in as suggested. Try not to go down the pizza and coke route as they wont help you to rebalance.

And I really do recommend you see your GP. You will not be wasting their time even though you might not have a definite single issue. You've been through a lot and need some care. Hurrah for your Mama,mshe sounds ace.

What you are missing is the "promise" of him, the love & care you felt & you had at the start.
You have now experienced his deep selfish inside that he has subjected to you & Dcs.
I mean REALLY ? Take a step outside the box.
Is it possible to love someone who has done all those hurtful things to you, ( & your family who are hopefully too young to take it on board)
blatant throwing in your face, the strippers, the make up, the all nights out, the ignoring of texts........ & we only know those bits & there is clearly a lot more.
NO, just NO, You were not put on this planet to subsist, to be hurt daily, to fear & dread.
JUST
NO
You may need time to accustom to not having his "noise" in the house.
the occasional hug, but who's body were they around last night.......
You will feel better, this is bereavement, it will get easier. Please hold on.

No it doesn't sound woo Matilda I really appreciate the advice
I wouldn't have expected this to have such a physical effect (affect? I never get them two right!) so to hear explanations for it is actually really helpful
I think slowing down, unclenching and exhaling a bit sounds like just what I need tbh

ginger that is a very good point, I hadn't thought of that but I definitely think he's probably thinking that I'm just pissed off and it'll all blow over soon, so I think you're right and letting him know that I'm not angry and I still have all the same feelings for him but I just can't be in a relationship with him anymore might just make it all feel real

Hope you're ok sky

they =his arms,( been on the wine !)

Gosh Mix when you put it like that and list all the shit it just makes me want to shake myself
I think some harsh 'look at what he did to you' kind of comments punctuating the thread will actually be really helpful
It's so easy to only see the good when you're looking backwards isn't it

Haha I got it don't worry

Make a list of the shit he has put you through. Stick it on your bathroom mirror (somewhere the kids can't see)
You are worth more than this