NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

Oh and well done for getting through the weekend - amazing strength

Just caught up. You're doing great capes, sorry to hear XP made a balls up of the weekend and ds1 is poorly. The man is a pillock who needs to man up pretty quickly.

Capes, I've been lurking and wishing you well throughout and just posted once, early on, pointing out how many skills you have.

You have been through a truly enormous trauma in the last couple of weeks. The miscarriage and physical effects as well as the emotional impact of the loss and your breakup. I do 100% think you have done the right thing but perhaps you need to be still for a while now? Allow some grief and loss to get out. Have you seen your GP? Arranging some counselling might be very helpful. Please look after yourself now. You don't have to be superwoman or a hero.

I really admire your strength and resolve but am a bit worried that the whirlwind of the last week has overshadowed your need for some time to recover from your bereavement and physical trauma.

Gentle hugs.

My X messed around with contact at first. Youngest was 15minths. He tried to use it as a weapon against me and to restrict my social life. I never responded or bit. Treated it as his loss.

Eventually it settled down to EOW and works well. Though he always, without fail, brings them back late on a Sunday.

My ex brought them back late and overtired and underfed and fill of sugar for years and years.
I learnt coping mechanisms!
One night without a bath doesn't kill them.
Quiz tea, scrambled eggs or beans on toast for the night's they hadn't been fed, and if they had I didn't need to bother.

You do adjust to their fuckwittery and have mechanisms to cope.

My ex brought them back late and overtired and underfed and fill of sugar for years and years.
I learnt coping mechanisms!
One night without a bath doesn't kill them.
Quiz tea, scrambled eggs or beans on toast for the night's they hadn't been fed, and if they had I didn't need to bother.

You do adjust to their fuckwittery and have mechanisms to cope.

My ex brought them back late and overtired and underfed and fill of sugar for years and years.
I learnt coping mechanisms!
One night without a bath doesn't kill them.
Quiz tea, scrambled eggs or beans on toast for the night's they hadn't been fed, and if they had I didn't need to bother.

You do adjust to their fuckwittery and have mechanisms to cope.

Oh ffs
Sorry

hucks really pissed off with her ex ;)

Sorry what was that Huck didn't quite catch it?

Matilda I was thinking about your message a lot today and I think you're right
I haven't slept much and I ate a grand total of 3 meals between Sunday and Sunday
I think I need to take a step back for a second, stop trying to be constantly busy, stop decluttering and cleaning and painting (I've really felt the need to gut the house since I moved him out) and just relax, find my groove by myself and start looking after myself a bit or I'm going to burn out
Thank you

How are you and the kids today Capes?

We're good today, DS1 only actually threw up once and had 2 diarrhoea episodes so the day wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be, thank goodness
Had a few texts from ExP and I really nearly got sucked into a discussion but I think I avoided it mostly
But yeah, not much to report to be honest

Hope you feel proud of yourself Capes. Look how far youve come in just a week. Purging the house and everything

Glad your doing well & DS seems to be on the mend. Agree completely with Matilda - take time for you, be kind to yourself. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and the trauma and grief make itself felt at some point. Take all the help & support you can get. Big gentle hugs &

Hope it's just a 24 hour bug and he's on the mend soon. Thinking of you all, well done not getting sucked in. X

You're still doing so well

You are still being strong.... Well done for resisting. You know its the best future for you all. x

Yes you must eat and rest. Or else you will get ill.
Well done for not getting sucked in to conversation with him.i know it's hard, especially with poorly kids and if you are tired yourself.

Soup. Soup was what got me through because I had no appetite at all but at least it was something warm and vaguely nourishing.

Thanks all
I don't feel very strong today Mix i feel really tired and tbh I just want to talk to him, and I really want to cuddle him
I feel a bit pathetic writing that I want a cuddle but I do

I just have absolutely no appetite either, I've had the odd biscuit and banana here and there but I just don't want real food
Ha great minds though nigel I had half a jar of soup today
I will try to start eating now, I think that's why I'm so tired too

You're not pathetic for feeling that way Capes, it's completely normal to miss intimacy and cuddles and just being together. I wish he'd been able to give you that, because you deserve it. You've had a hell of a month, the fact that you're doing so well is a testament to your backbone of steel. I'm glad you're trying to eat and rest, it can't be easy when it's the last thing on your mind.

Do y ou like peanut butter?
Do the Dcs like Porridge ? breakfast for all of you. (can be made before, reheated with extra liquid.Not in the microwave, Microwave were invented by the devil )
Eggs & bacon ? Scrambled eggs on toast, beans ? Poached, ....
There are lots of simple foods that nourish, but are quick to make, No extra effort, not a lot of cleaning up....
Protein ! Good for the brain, good for stamina....
Soup is warm/easy/coforting, but has no PUNCH.
What about Avocado (coming into season)
I can give you a million quick meals, Just ask !

If you are stressed, hungry, tired, you will feel like you want that hug/support even more so.

But that hug ends up costing so much.
At least you will start getting better/healing now.
Life how you were living it was inevitable pain...

I cried at night sometimes. Loneliness and fear. Overwhelming responsibility.

Things have moved on so far now!
Hand on heart, I love my life today.

Hugs to you.

What is your absolute favourite food? Maybe treat yourself to that to tempt yourself to eat.

Mix it's not that I don't want to cook, I've been cooking proper meals for the kids and the baby eats like a horse so I usually cook a hot meal at lunchtime for him too
I just don't want any of it
Didn't even eat my takeaway on Friday, just pushed it round my plate really
I never eat when I'm stressed though, I lost 3.5 stone in 3 months once and looked like I was dying (I was only 9.5 stone to begin with) so I need to snap myself out of it asap really