NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

And that is what I'd call a hefty dose of karma! I've just been reminded of a good Scottish saying that made me think of your X and Skyye's too "I hope your next shite is a hedgehog!"

Haha aye I love that!

Ooh soft play with a hangover... The perfect consequence!!

Did he say anything Capes?

Ha that's brilliant

he asked whether he'd text me (he obviously knew) I just said yes, so he asked what he said () I told him and he was all "did I? I don't even remember, I was so pissed I'm sorry!" In faux shock

I reverted to breezy and just said "ok, see you later!"
He looked confused

And thankyou aye you know I wouldn't be doing anywhere near as well without you lot

The oh so convenient memory loss... A classic!

Well done for staying breezy and not clawing his eyes out

Isn't it! Thinks I was born yesterday 🙄

I'm glad you have us to help you through this, I'm glad we've been able to help.
Memory loss pfffft, my XH has that too, he claims I've made it all up and he was nothing but nice to me. I dare say X Rays and hospital reports would disprove that but hey.
I hope that all the kids at the party are yelling at the top of their lungs and jumping all over him and he feels like absolute shite

Also he clearly knows he text you and what he said... His phone would have saved it all

He was clearly just testing the waters, trying to put across his carefully thought out excuse... Its a classic sign of talking bullshit, if he wasn't lying he wouldn't have said anything as he wouldn't have remembered!

He really thinks you are that stupid.

Didn't he just need to look at his text messages to check he had text you and what?

It was a clear way of getting at you again as you didn't engage last night.

Detach detach detach.

Create an email address just for him and tell him he needs to use that now. Get a new phone/sim. Save the one he knows for just him. Put it in at certain times/days for contact.

Do not tell anyone who will pass on the new number it.

He's so arrogant, and immature. He wants you back so badly but doesn't have the mental or emotional ability to know how to do it. Was he spoiled as a kid? Is his father the same? My ex was the same. He could have had me back if he's apologised profusely, acknowledged his behaviour unreservedly and had come up with a plan on how things would be different. He didn't.

Yours is coming up with loads of little tricks to come back. He thinks it'll work. But he's learned nothing. You know he'd be the same if he came back.

You sound so mature, so switched on, so decent. He lost a great thing in you. He really has. He will wake up one day and realise what a good thing he had. He won't change though. You can move on from him and in time have a respectful, decent, loving, fair, mature relationship with someone. He never will.

annie that's the frustrating thing, that is all I've ever wanted him to do, but he just would never accept that he was ever in the wrong about annnnnything - drives me mad!
He didn't have the best parents tbh, well his Mum, he doesn't know his Dad, he has a lot of issues from his childhood that's why I think he'd do really well to have a bit of counselling, but of course he never would
It's like he sees showing any kind of emotion as weakness, it's sad really
And thank you for the lovely things you said about me

Of course he remembered, he just wanted to bring it up to see how I'd react didn't he, so I just didn't react
He was on his best behaviour today, kids well looked after, fed, home on time, he bathed them and read them a story and he's gone
If only it could be that easy every time!
(He did start a bit of an 'I miss you I know I've fucked up' kind of conversation but I shut it down and walked away and he didn't try it again)

I feel your frustration Capes. I felt the same. It's like a block they have. You're right in what you say that he sees showing any kind of emotion as weakness. They don't understand it that if they did show emotion - if he cried at your feet for all he's done to you and that he'd change - you're not so hard-hearted and unforgiving not to try again. But he can't do it. You're only young but you've evolved over the years, he hasn't. Shame. His great loss. You feel like shaking them. It's like he's cutting his nose off to spite his face. You see it and it's horrible watching as you still care about him. Why can't he work it out for himself?

You just want to feel cherished and appreciated. You've put up with so much. There is someone that will do this in the future. He will be gutted to lose you for good. Silly, silly man.

At the eleventh hour when I was leaving my ex he tried to keep me. There was no frank discussion of what he'd done, there was no apology, there was no honest opening up of his heart so I had to say no and that it's too little, too late. I knew if I'd stayed nothing would have been the same and I'd have that empty feeling. You want to stay, you want it to work but you know it won't unless they do their bit. Men like this are incapable though. I don't comment much on your thread but I'm still reading it and cheering you on. You're doing so well.

I meant "nothing would have changed" not "nothing would have been the same".

I feel like I could have written all of that myself! Didn't know his father? check. "Not the best" mother? check. (Though he'd probably kill me for saying that, she died when he was 18 from liver failure from long term alcoholism). Any kind of emotion is weakness? check. Lots of issues from childhood? double check. Would benefit from counselling? omg check times a gazillion. But would never actually go to counselling? check.

It's depressing really. It's like the Twat Recipe!

annie I feel like you just wrote the inside of my head! Yes X a million!!

Twat recipe sky I feel like we're the same person I really do, I wish you weren't so far away we could be bestest friends!

I know!! It's such a shame... I wish I could invite everyone on both our threads round for and

Could you imagine a night out with all of us? Absolute blast I reckon! Capes and Skyye you just described my XH to a t. I wonder if there is an actual twat recipe? It sounds like there is!

aye I would love if we could all get together for a night out, but we are very widespread - it's my birthday next week I reckon you should all just leave your children and lives for a bit and come drink with me

Sounds like there is an actual twat recipe - 1 part emotional immaturity to 2 parts ego ...

Interestingly though we all sound quite similar, maybe there's a twat-magnet recipe too?

I wish I could! it's been ages since I went out out not a lightweight, no not me
I think we all try to see the good in people and are too bloody nice for our own good!

Oh that would be awesome I haven't been out since before DD was born!

We should organise a knees up. I'm sure one of you is Blackpool way we could have a blast!

Lynn I'm about an hour from Blackpool but I know sky is darn sarf and I'm fairly sure aye is Scottish?
You're all terribly inconsiderate living so far away you know

According to the national rail website it would take me 4hr 54mins with 3 changes and cost me £112.80 to get to Blackpool... And that's just one way