NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

Block him for the rest of the night, just in case. The last thing you want to do is cave in a moment of vulnerability

I don't know how to block him

I absolutely won't cave though don't worry, I'm not tempted in the slightest

Plus the kids are here so I wouldn't want them to wake up and him be here, they'd be so confused

Well, i don't know its about him showing up tonight its more about setting some boundaries at the moment he has no respect for your desire for him to stop contacting you.

One of the problems you face is him constantly trying to write you guys a new history you need time to process whats going on without him constantly trying to manipulate you.

I presume, he looks at your situation and acts accordingly, at the moment he knows hes in the shit the usual stuff hes does has not worked so hes going to try everything hes done in the past in the belief you will in fact get back together. Hes trying to force his will onto you.

You don't have to tolerate his emotional blackmail.

If you do what you have always done, you'll get what you have always got!

Keep pushing on with the change.
It will get better.
If you go back, life will certainly be shit.

I've just had a text, guess he didn't pull then
How the fuck have I been reduced to a drunken booty call to him

Because he doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself. What a twat.

I hope you to him to take a long walk off a very short pier.

He kept texting over and over instantly after the other, I can only presume he was trying to wake me up
So I text him 'are you having a laugh? Go away I'm asleep' and I shortly after got a 'fuck you then' and then a 'bitch'

I know you probably won't believe me when I say that he has never spoke to me like that before, I was actually really shocked

He's supposed to have the kids today, somehow I doubt that'll happen

Cos he knows hes losing the control over you. Youre stronger than you think Capes. Well done for not caving. Hes a prize arsehole x

He was his usual selfish, egotistical bastarding self then texting you at that time of night!
He clearly thought you'd welcome him with open legs arms because he's such a catch and when you didn't, he showed his true colours!
You need to keep reminding yourself of those true colours of his.
Ooh I'd like to knock him into next week

Be prepared for either outcome... He might be in a mood and not come for the kids, etc, etc. Or he might come with a grovelling apology about how he was "soooo drunk" and he "missed you soooo much" blah blah blah.

I often found when mine was like that he would often excuse it away as "I just care about you so much". If that does happen just keep in mind that normal people don't speak like that to the people they love. Ever. They just realise that they've overstepped the mark and try to damage control to get you back on side. It doesn't actually mean that they're sorry at all.

Sorry you had to go through all that last night Capes hopefully it'll be a one off and things will be clearer once all your previous commitments have passed and the only thing you have in common are the DC.

Hopefully he still comes for the DCs sake, but be prepared to don your hard hat and have plenty of and for afterwards

Thanks guys
If anything this has helped me, I was a bit sad yesterday but then after last night I'm just thinking - you cheeky fucking bastard! I have loved you for 9 years, given up my life to raise your children and you treat me like I'm a glorified sex doll?! Then when I dare to say no I am not just a hole you call me a bitch?! Will you be saying that to our daughter too when guys think it's their God given right to stick it in whenever they feel like it?
Fucking dick!
The past few days news events may have made me angrier about this than I normally would've been

Wonder which stance he'll take when he wakes up, my guess is he'll laugh it off and go 'oh I was pissed' and that'll be that

Angry little man when he doesn't get his own way isn't he ?
In a way horrid legging it is he's done you a favour because he's letting you see his true colours.

What an unspeakable prick.... Clearly showing his true colours is actually what you need (sadly) to tell him to go to fuck (elsewhere)

Well at least you're angry! You should be angry, he's being a fucking twat!

At least you know that you will be there to make sure your DD knows she can say no! And now she's seeing you exercise your right to say no, saying no to being treated like crap, and saying no to being in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Saying no to sex will come naturally to her if she grows up knowing she can say no to things that make her uncomfortable or unhappy!

My suggestion for the "oh I was pissed" would be to just look at him like and just talk about the DC. I wouldn't even mention it if I were you.

Its also fun to watch their head explode as they try and reel you in with stuff and all they get is "ok..... so DD has had lunch but might need a snack before dinner and they need to be back by 6" they really can't stand it when they're not the centre of your attention!

sky is right !

Everything Skyye said, a million times over! Capes I'm so sorry he had to fucking nerve to do this to you, he's a fucking horrendacunt. But I'm glad you're angry, because when you're angry you're not hurting. I'd go with icy calm, only discussing the kids, and actively ignoring anything else that comes out of his vile mouth.

That is fun sky his confused face when I've done that before had made me laugh out loud
I might even throw in a head tilt too, make him think I pity him and his patheticness

Horrendacunt has never been more appropriate aye

Oh yes the he's tilt is fun! I'm a natural head tilter, according to my dad I've done it since I was 2 always used to wind XP up no end!

Also a soft sigh and looking up slightly in a "when will this bitch stop talking?" kind of way really gets them huffing and puffing

*head not he's

wtaf phone????

I'm gutted, absolutely gutted that he had the audacity to treat you so disrespectfully, after everything he has ever done he still sticks the boot in. I hate that he does this to you when it's him that deserves to feel like shit, to question himself and to feel devastated, NOT you. I reckon horrendacunt sums him up. How are you feeling now Capes? Is he coming for the kids today? Xx

I'm ok today, I'm not really anything, I don't expect any better of him anymore

He usually picks kids up at 10, no word from him yet, he's supposed to be taking DS1 to a party at half 11 so I've just text his friends Mum to see if he can go with them if he doesn't show 🙄

Numb is protecting you from how he makes you feel, numb is ok for now if it gets you through the day. There's no book on how to feel, you just take each day/hour/minute as it comes. I wish this wasn't happening, you are so much better than the way he is treating you.
Did your DS friend's mum say she could take him? At least he won't miss out on the party. I'm in awe of you Capes at the same stage post XH I was nowhere near as strong as you, you might not think you're strong but your posts on here prove it.

Didn't take him long to mess the kids around

Yeah the Mum said he could, but Ex showed up in the end so he's took him
He looked rough as toast, and he has to sit with 20 loud 7 year olds in a soft play for 2 hours now, ha