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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fiancé didn't come home last night

577 replies

Jemima1985 · 11/09/2016 21:45

My finance went it last night, I dropped him at the pub and 2am he text me saying he was at his mates house and he'll be home soon! He is still not home (it's nearly 10pm) now next night and I'm worried sick. His mum said she saw him with 3 lads at 11.30am and he ran past her house so she thinks he is probably asleep at a mates house sleeping off a hangover. I can't help but worry myself sick and think the worst

OP posts:
LITTLEGEEK · 13/09/2016 18:52

OP I can't help wonder what you are getting out of this 'relationship '. From what you have told us, he doesn't give a shit about you. He's happy to stay out with no respect for your feelings.
I've heard the phrase cocklodger before on here. Does he pull his weight and help out around the house or expect you to deal with it? Think about if you did have children with this man child, imagine if they were in a relationship with someone who treated them like this, would you be happy for them to waste their life desperately trying to please them or want them to get out and find someone who loves them and values them?

I got out of a relationship like this after 4 years. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see what everyone else has been seeing. Hopefully this is your rock bottom and you can now get out and find someone who does deserve your live and time....He does not. Take care OP

LITTLEGEEK · 13/09/2016 18:54

Love and time

SarcasmMode · 13/09/2016 20:28

I hope today has gone as well as it could OP.

dangerrabbit · 14/09/2016 04:54

I've read this whole thread OP and while I do agree that some of the responses may have been harshly phrased and hard to read, they are unanimous in their option of what you should do about the relationship. I want you to ask yourself why do you think that might be, and how this might impact on where you see your path.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 14/09/2016 07:45

You are at a crossroads and decisions don't just happen over night when feelings are involved. Your head tells you one thing your heart tells you another. Only you know what you want to do and I agree that takes time. It also depends on how he behaves and how he puts things right now. Certainly you need to put conditions of you wish to continue. However I think there is a lot of soul searching to be done first.

ohtheholidays · 14/09/2016 10:22

I hope you've managed to get some sleep and that your head and neck feel better Jemima ,I hope he's spoke to you now,what he did was awful and I'm not surprised you've been so upset and so worried.

What ever decisions you make I hope they're the right one's for you and you alone Flowers

Fanfeck · 14/09/2016 12:55

I read this time in "real time" and my stomach lurched at the similarities to what I experienced with ExDP.

Someone doesn't have to be hoovering coke or banging heroine to be a bad choice of a husband. The leaps that some people make (though understandable and usually drawn from their own experience) aren't always helpful because it downplays what he is actually getting up to eg. "just" binge drinking or smoking a shit load of weed.

The fact of the matter is he put you through those horrible feelings knowingly and in my experience it only got worse.

Mikkalina · 14/09/2016 17:41

Is everything ok OP? Has he apologised? Is he ok? You probably feel very hurt. Stay strong and think of yourself.

pinkandstripey · 14/09/2016 19:52

Erm, OP, if you're still reading this has just appeared on my fb trending page as a Sun newspaper article.

OlennasWimple · 14/09/2016 20:21

Oh FFS pink Angry

Mummamayhem · 14/09/2016 20:36

Leave him before you have kids! Pretty please (Or perhaps reading this thread my though was perhaps this was his very mature way of leaving you. I know a knob who did similar. Just left his wife, after years together ta ta, she was worried sick he was fine)

user123456789 · 14/09/2016 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iamdobby63 · 14/09/2016 20:45

How is this 'news'?

Lazy copy and paste journalism.

Cary2012 · 14/09/2016 20:46

Love the 'models' The Sun uses for these, all look about Year 10!

Waltermittythesequel · 14/09/2016 20:46

Ffs!

troubleatmill2011 · 14/09/2016 20:49

I cannot actually believe this has been reported in a national paper! I'm speechless.....Shock

Queenbean · 14/09/2016 20:52

The most annoying bit of the Sun article is that they have posted everyone's usernames as individual words

Ie That's Not My Name

OlennasWimple · 14/09/2016 20:55

There's so much C&P "journalism" that the Sun website has its own MN topic Angry

allthecarbs · 14/09/2016 21:03

Fucks sake. I'd get it deleted ASAP op.

GabsAlot · 14/09/2016 21:09

bit late now
i know the internet is a plblic forum but this si ridiculous

GabsAlot · 14/09/2016 21:12

tried to comment on it but theres an error

troubleatmill2011 · 14/09/2016 21:13

Just seems very unfair that you come here for help and I know it's very public as on the internet but still feels a safe place - this takes that away

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 14/09/2016 21:15

Her user name makes her very identifiable too.

On the other hand I don't think it would be a bad thing fr the tosspot in question to hear what we all think.

YouAreMyRain · 14/09/2016 21:16

Fucking cunting lazy sun journalists

troubleatmill2011 · 14/09/2016 21:21

Just seen as another poster had put the link up all the other posts that are printed on the Sun website, oh my goodness that's such a shame.