Fiancé didn't come home last night

[Jemima1985]

My finance went it last night, I dropped him at the pub and 2am he text me saying he was at his mates house and he'll be home soon! He is still not home (it's nearly 10pm) now next night and I'm worried sick. His mum said she saw him with 3 lads at 11.30am and he ran past her house so she thinks he is probably asleep at a mates house sleeping off a hangover. I can't help but worry myself sick and think the worst

Oh finally scrolled back and read about the police...locked in house..nan's garden...a weird tale and doesn't seem to add up, does it.

I have seen all the last posts but actually you sound quite strong to me OP, you have said "no way" to the police saying a bunch of flowers will sort it all out. What a ridiculously misogynist thing for them to say anyway.

I hope you can stay strong and walk away, if not from the friendship then from the marriage, take a break at least, but I realize it might be the hardest thing you've ever done.

heebee the thing is this is a mostly unedited free Internet forum. Posters are not robots and what you might find scathing and offensive others might not. If you feel like a post is going over the top - just report it. It's not down to individual posters to act like councillors or the thread police.

I actually don't think there is anything bad on this thread.

If I find posts going over the top I prefer to have that discussion.

As a friend in RL (and on MN) I am patient, supportive and wait until someone makes their journey. I don't think people suffer bad relationships for the drama and if they do, they need to work that through, anyway.

My daughter split from her sons DH when he was a year old, after a similar carry on.
Her little boy had weekly contact with him, supervised by his mother.
He stayed on at the LA home they just got, which then became a 'party house'.
She worked hard and managed to go for a well earned holiday to US.
I was babysitting and expected his dad to come for his son at lunchtime.
At 11am, I got a call from his brother to say he was dead of a cocaine overdose.
His mother had been round there earlier and read the riot act - he laughed in her face!
My daughter had to come home and tell her little son that his dad was dead!
This was only 8 weeks ago.

You have an opportunity here, OP, to avoid this becoming your story!
Please take it!

people start saying 'but you won't so this, you'll just suck it up and be here whinging...'

Those are your words, not mine.

My lovely little grandson is only 6 years old!

He doesn't do this every few months and I don't know yet about the drug part

He is not a cocaine user!

But he is a twat

'Nuff said

Have you spoken to him yet OP?

If I find posts going over the top I prefer to have that discussion

Ok but don't be surprised if posters disagree with you. Just report if you think they are offensive.

op go on to relationships as there is a thread there about another woman who has finally seen how much men like this don't change after her dp stayed out all night too. She is getting s lot of support.

Has he finally been in contact?

I have read half of the comments since I have been at work and I have had to stop. I joined this for advice and compassion but some of the comments are assuming things and making fun out of what I will do! Thank to the support people on this thread who listen and don't just jump to conclusions

So has he been in contact at all?

What sort of drugs did his mate buy OP?

YNK So sorry for what your family are going through.

Listen op, I have depression, but I've never behaved as shittily as this.

If you don't know about the drug part you don't know what drugs he is taking.

Many people are sharing their stories that started just like you are describing. They did not end well for them.

You deserve better, please don't marry this man, please don't believe his lies and excuses and please don't make excuses for him, it sounds like your almost getting upset at people because your defending him - you cannot defend the indefensible his actions are indefensible.

I'm shocked by how must stick I am getting when I haven't said I am continuing with this relationship but a lot of commenters are assuming I will and slating this. I have just got back from work with a banging headache and neck ache and no sleep for two nights. I can hardly think straight at the moment!

People are being harsh because they are trying to make you see how bad this is OP.

Your
Right
I
Don't
Know
Yet about the drug part last night until we speak but I do know he is not a cocaine user which people are assuming on this thread

I know how bad the situation is without turning it into something it isn't! The problem is staying out and not being in contact with me

I assumed it was cannabis from your comment about them being seen to be spaced out.

Which is probably causing the mental health episodes tbh.

Has he contacted you yet?

If he has I would suggest you need him to stay away now for an evening so you can get your head together.

You have been through hell and back over the past few days and honestly think you don't want to be having any conversations with him until you have had a good nights sleep.

I haven't responded or talked to him yet out of my own choice as my head is mashed and I need to think about things and what exactly I want to tell him

I also want him to think about what he has done sober before we talk