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Original poster

Fiancé didn't come home last night

577 replies

Jemima1985 · 11/09/2016 21:45

My finance went it last night, I dropped him at the pub and 2am he text me saying he was at his mates house and he'll be home soon! He is still not home (it's nearly 10pm) now next night and I'm worried sick. His mum said she saw him with 3 lads at 11.30am and he ran past her house so she thinks he is probably asleep at a mates house sleeping off a hangover. I can't help but worry myself sick and think the worst

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 11/09/2016 22:48

Bloody hell, you poor thing. What an absolute immature tosser he is. Has he got to be back at some point to get ready for work in the morning?

ScarletOverkill · 11/09/2016 22:48

Call it off now while you have the chance.
Leopards spots and all that Flowers

LineyReborn · 11/09/2016 22:50

I would use the last five years as a very educational learning curve in what NOT to settle for.

GeneralBobbit · 11/09/2016 22:51

Nope. It was your choice to 'worry'. He's done it before and he knew you would just give him hassle for doing it again so he decided to leave it as long as possible.

What you should have done is chosen not to worry, not to believe the shitbag, not to have your happiness tied up in him being back exactly when he said he'd be, and gone out yourself.

He has no respect for you or your 'rules'. Obviously they're not fucking 'rules ', they're just decent human adults letting each other know when they'll be back.

Original poster
Jemima1985 · 11/09/2016 22:51

I'm not young I'm 31! She saw him at 11.30am and she thinks he'll be sleeping it off at a mates but I still worry he may have done something stupid after that! Why wouldn't a mate have kicked him out by now or him be concerned about work tomorrow

OP posts:
Elland · 11/09/2016 22:51

Is his phone ringing out or is it turned off? I think I would be getting worried that something had happened at this point rather than him just staying out (although if it is just a case of him being a selfish twat and not coming home I would be kicking him straight back out of that door to his mum)

Have you checked when he was last on what's app/Facebook messenger?

NorksAreMessy · 11/09/2016 22:52

What does 'up to no good' even mean?

Agree with LOTS of other pps, please don't marry an immature tosspot , it will end in tears :(

Overthinker2016 · 11/09/2016 22:52

Are you prepared to put up with this for the next 50 ish years?

Selfish prick that he is.

BastardGoDarkly · 11/09/2016 22:52

Listen to his Mum, she's not worried, because this is him. It won't change, if this is what you want for the rest of your life, marry him.

Queenbean · 11/09/2016 22:53

Sorry, I thought you said you were 25, but I see he is 25 and you are 31.

OP, no offence meant here at all but if you've been together for 5 years since he was aged 20 is there any chance that you've been running the relationship - pushing things forward etc, and he's almost relying you in a mothered sort of way? This is just such an immature way for him to behave!

Original poster
Jemima1985 · 11/09/2016 22:55

His phone is going to answer machine! I am worried something has happened as he's never not come home in this long before

OP posts:
LouisvilleLlama · 11/09/2016 22:55

He sounds like. Teenager skipping school! FWIW not saying it will happen but there's been threads like this that have ended with him having ended it

WindInThePussyWillows · 11/09/2016 22:55

That's awful, all night is bad enough, but that's shocking to not even let you know he's okay.

onmybroomstick · 11/09/2016 22:56

Id worry too. Hope you get some sleep op

Nocabbageinmyeye · 11/09/2016 22:57

Any word op? I agree with others, really think about marrying this guy, you deserve better

BastardGoDarkly · 11/09/2016 22:57

Ok, I've never seen a thread of this kind turn out to be anything other than selfish man child out on the piss.

However, if you're really worrying, what about getting in touch with any of his friends on fb? Girlfriends of the lads he was with?

myfriendnigel · 11/09/2016 22:58

This reminds me of a thread on here where the op's h went missing then turned up in hospital with a minor illness days later and tried to pass it off as that being the reason he had disappeared. Eventually I think it emerged there was another woman involved.but it went on for days. The poor op was tearing her hair out.
The advice to her was pretty much to LTB as I recall, and i would say the same to you now op.
Anyone who will just fuck off and do what they want and not give a shit how worried you might be, or even be particularly bothered about how you might feel isn't worth your time, much less your life long commitment in marrying him.
It seems even his mum thinks he's being a twat.
I'm sorry you are going through this op, but you know what to do...

coconutpie · 11/09/2016 22:58

You plan on marrying this guy? Don't. Learn from this. He has zero respect for you if he's happy to go out all night and still not even contact you at 11pm the following night to let you know that he is ok.

Original poster
Jemima1985 · 11/09/2016 22:58

He had a childhood trauma which causes depression and he has these blow outs every 3 months and bottles stuff up! He is being selfish but there is a lot to it. I want to try to work things out but it is hard, I in no way think it will be easy. Just want him to come home as at the moment I'm panicking that he's dead or hurt somewhere

OP posts:
coconutpie · 11/09/2016 22:59

X post.

If he's having these episodes every 3 months, then he needs to get professional help. Is he getting this?

RaeSkywalker · 11/09/2016 22:59

I'd be beside myself if this was DH. The fact that even your fiancé's DM isn't concerned about him probably speaks volumes here.

I really hope he turns up safe, but agree with others that I'd be thinking seriously about whether I should be continuing the relationship with him, let alone marrying him.

Whisky2014 · 11/09/2016 23:00

Ummed he's not hurt he's getting pissed with his mates and doesn't give a damn about you. Heellooooo wake up!

Mikkalina · 11/09/2016 23:00

Think what happens if you have a child with him. Then he disappears because he would want to have fun with his mates. That is the future. Just leave him. He is fine. I would say he wants to have fun and not get serious. You really deserve better OP and not a man child.

coconutpie · 11/09/2016 23:00

Myfriend - yes I remember that thread, he'd been off with another woman while the poor OP had been worried sick.

Myusernameismyusername · 11/09/2016 23:00

You know like it sounds like you are talking about your teenage son don't you?

He has a mother already he doesn't need another
He's an adult and making bad choices. You won't be able to retrain him and if he uses the excuse of his past to do stupid things even now it sounds like he hasn't learnt Anythjng new in 5 years

Depression doesn't cause people to act like an arsehole

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