Fiancé didn't come home last night

[Jemima1985]

My finance went it last night, I dropped him at the pub and 2am he text me saying he was at his mates house and he'll be home soon! He is still not home (it's nearly 10pm) now next night and I'm worried sick. His mum said she saw him with 3 lads at 11.30am and he ran past her house so she thinks he is probably asleep at a mates house sleeping off a hangover. I can't help but worry myself sick and think the worst

Has he still no been in contact?

"Ok but don't be surprised if posters disagree with you. Just report if you think they are offensive"
I am not surprised. I will report when I feel I need to report, thank you, and say things where I prefer to say them to a poster. As a difference of opinion.

OP - well done for going to work.

Have you heard that he is OK?

I'd get some sleep, OP. You must be knackered.

OK, Jemima, well it sounds as if your worst fears have not come to pass, and that you know he is at least safe.

Very very wise to wait before speaking with him - let your feelings of relief subside.

Of course, if he was safe his ignoring your 18 attempts to call are even more inexcusable.

But I hope he is OK and you manage to get some rest and gather your strength.

I understand that some posters might disagree with my decisions but I haven't made any yet and I'm getting slated!

I am glad he is alive as that was my worst fear! I am glad I got through the day at work and I am going to get some food now to try and look after myself during this difficult time. I do think I need to give myself time to sleep before we talk and I find out exactly what happened

it doesnt matter what happened jemima thats the point

i dont think youre getting your head together i think youre wasting time on purpose

you know he doesnt care hes already shown this

you say one thing then say another

and dont kid yourself youre chooseing not to talk to him he hant been in contact with you how are you choosing this?

One of the worst things about MN is how overinvested some posters get and seem to take it really personally if an OP doesn't take their advice immediately.

OP, do what you need to do, take the time and think about what you want. Everyone has given their view but only you can decide what you really want.

Has has tried it be in contact and he has returned home whilst I was at work today! I am not saying one thing and then another, I am not making any decisions whilst I have had no sleep for two days!

Thank you to everybody for their support during this difficult time

I know it doesn't matter the details of what exactly happened because there is never any excuse to not contact your other half and let them know you are safe but I want to know because it could be worse than I'm thinking

There isn't really anything to think about

He thinks it's ok to go awol for 24 hours+

You don't

That's it really

So he's been home while you were out, and has he gone again now?

Please come back and talk to us again when you've managed some sleep and can think a bit straighter Jemima

Jemima just right, take care of yourself first and carry on doing that.

Op I hope sooner rather than later you will expect more for yourself.

You don't have to mother this man

Jemina it makes total sense that you would sleep on it before deciding what to do and what to say. You've been through quite a lot in the last 48 hours so you probably need something nice to eat, a bit of a relax and a good sleep (if you can manage it). There's nothing that won't keep until tomorrow, or whenever you feel ready to deal with it. Please don't let some posters put you off. There's a lot of good posters here who can offer you advice if you need it again.

YNK I'm so sorry

I will bet anything op that he is involved in drugs harder than cannabis. Going on a two day cannabis bender is not something I've ever heard of. I don't mean to be condescending but I just want you to be informed as you may not have experience with drugs. My ex had a cocaine addiction and these are the type of things he would get up to. I found it very difficult to see as I was so close to it but when I read other stories now I can see it clear as day. I wanted to believe all my ex's stories... I wanted to believe he wasn't what he actually was... It all finally came to an end when I saw messages he was sending to other women to meet up while he was on his binges.

Two years on I'm in a better place than ever. I hope all works out for you OP. Can imagine you are mentally and physically exhausted, definitely take some time to let your nerves settle and think about things. Look after yourself x

I would suggest to leave it a few days and then start a new thread, hopefully leaving behind the hysteria from this one

Queen where's the hysteria? That's a bit patronising and over the top. You may not think some people have been as gentle as they might have been but I see no hysteria.

It's neither patronising or over the top. Some of the responses on here are bizarre

The OP has been posting about this for less than 24 hours and has had people speculating in all sorts of ways about her, her relationship, her mind frame, even saying there's no way she'll be back and she will definitely take him back

Some of the advice on here is great but I don't think that all of it is good at all. Some posters forget there is a real person with a long relationship history behind the screen. We have all said what we would do but to take it so personally because op hasn't immediately locked the door and cleared the accounts of money is bizarre

Well I disagree that hysterical would be an appropriate description for any of the responses. Straight talking and hard hitting certainly, slightly unkind in one or two examples maybe, but hysterical? No.

thers no hysteria when people arejust telling the truth

the fact he came home and hant said anything says it all

hes a dick who will do it again-oh i forgot he has done it before

OP - I read this early this morning and just caught up now. I'm so glad he is safe and I completely understand you wanting to sleep and get your mental energy back before you both talk. It's not something you can discuss and even get your head around in that state.

Have a long, cool glass of water in a long hot bubble bath and an early night. When it comes to it, I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.