It's not awful at all Offline sometimes people need to hear the truth, un-sugar coated, as harsh as it might be. That's the beauty of being strangers on a forum instead of sitting in front of a RL friend, where there is a need for some diplomacy. We don't care if she doesn't like us for saying what needs to be said - we just want her to listen.
The OP is at a very obvious crossroads in this relationship now unless she's been there before, more times than she's letting on. She can choose the right path or the wrong one. But if she chooses the wrong one she has a lifetime of this crap to look forward to, or at least a few more years until he gets bored and abandons her for someone else.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this thread can see with alarming clarity what she is refusing to see. This is her chance to let the scales fall from her eyes and walk away.
Eight months off a wedding date is ages. The closer it gets and the more invested in it she becomes, the harder it will be to walk away from shitty behaviour. Which means that each week the wedding gets closer, the worse he can behave and her dignity be eroded time and time again because HE KNOWS that she wants that wedding. He will be pushing her to see just how desperate she is, and he can do as he pleases because he has her over a barrel.
If you keep issuing ultimatums and final warnings and then never follow them through, not only are they a worthless currency but they actually send a signal to the person who is treating you badly that there is literally no limit to how badly they can treat you, because you will never be brave enough to walk away.