He hasn't come home

[NoCapes]

"D"P goes out a lot, I've started threads on him before, I mean he literally goes out 4/5 times a week
And he goes out every single Saturday night
He always gets in early hours of the morning and he sleeps on the couch
There's been the odd 'emergency' where he comes in at 8/9am-ish (friend was in hospital after a fight etc)
He's come in twice with make up on his t-shirt

Last night he went out and I've just got up with the baby to discover he hasn't come home
His phone is switched off

Will you all give me a shake and tell me the absolute glaringly obvious?...

Holy smoke nocapes you truely have heart and mind and spirit and guts.

You are doing so fucking well. I am rooting for you. Keep on doing what you're doing and oh boy will you have a good life. With the live and companianship if your kids, the care of your mum, more friends, more self respect, maybe in time a fulfilling job, a new and better man if you want one. I wish you strength and peace. X

"Love" not live. Doh

Good girl Capes, keep going and remember this too will pass. As for him stay with the feeling you have for him and yes you're quite right he is a waste of skin and blood.

Just wanted to come back and say again how fantastic you are being. I'm so sorry for poorly baby, not easy for you. Well done to mum for coming and helping, I bet she's wanting to do that for ages for you! Hope you get some rest tonight.

Day one done! What a week you've had, take care of you and baby now, hope he feels better soon. Be kind to yourself

NoCapes! Don't normally post in relationships but I saw this was you!

Pom poms out, cheerleaders outfit on (bit snug)... "Go Capes, Go Capes - gooooooooo Capes'!!!

Good on you, ruddy brilliant, well done! You will thrive without this Berk.

Hope wee baby much much better very soon

Love your mum
Hope baby gets better v quickly. You're right that you'd have been on your own with this anyway. He wouldn't be there to hold the baby.
You've done awfully well, you really have.

hi capes

just got in an catching up

your mum sounds brill glad u got some support there

hope bubs is beter soon x

Hi nocapes

I know your head will be spinning with the events of the past couple of days.. And now you have to look after your poorly baby....but please do not delay getting your benefits sorted.

You will need to get "your ducks in line" so to speak as these things can, in some circumstances take weeks to sort out. You need to make sure you avoid any cash flow problems down the line.

Sending lots of strength and hugs from NZ.

Your mum is a legend! I'm so glad she has got your back. Doesn't it throw wankbadger's conduct into sharp relief though?

I'm really sorry to hear the baby is poorly, and hope he is on the mend very soon. It's bad timing with everything else you've got going on, but you are strong and will get through it.

Still rooting for you here.

Please tell your mum that we think she's brilliant, people* like her that just breeze in and do what needs doing in times of crisis are invaluable. We all need those people and we all need to be those people.

*I say people but mostly I mean women.

I hope you're getting some rest and baby feels better tomorrow. Is there any way you can carry baby so that you can carry on getting things done whilst they want cuddles? You're truly awesome, such bravery and strength. Your children are incredibly lucky to have such a strong mummy. Feel proud. X

Aw, love your mum, she sounds awesome! Well done capes, you are doing so well! You're so strong, you definitely don't need him. I'm so glad your mum got there before you thought to message him. I hope the baby is better today! Keep going brave lady.

Hope you got some sleep capes and that the baby is ok.
Good old mum!

Morning Capes
Hope last night wasn't too miserable; how's the baby?
Thinking of you this morning. I know it's less practical use than a pair of custard socks, but the positive vibes I'm flinging your way are enough to flatten a rhino

MrsJustice !!

I know my Mum is bloody ace isn't she
Baby actually slept quite well in the end, think the antibiotics are kicking in
Mama Capes is picking him up after his morning nap for a few hours too so I can shower
I've moved my coffee date to this afternoon which school mum friend is fine with because it's more acceptable to eat cake in the afternoon
I feel much brighter this morning after a decent sleep, and the house still doesn't feel any different, this might be easier than I thought it would be (famous last words)

BC! Hi thankyou, I loved your snug cheerleader costume ha!
And your use of the word Berk - that is a seriously underused word, I may try to revive it

Thankyou all for the continuing messages, I always feel bad when I haven't been on for a while and I come back to loads of messages, but I read every one (more than once usually) and appreciate them all

Glad to hear your baby is feeling better and you had a but of a sleep, nothing worse than being sleep deprived. You sound so organised, it's great your mum us supportive. Enjoy your afternoon out, you deserve it! X

Glad you had a good nights sleep and hopefully baby is getting better.

So happy you have your Mum for support, if you were my daughter I would be thrilled and proud that you dumped the excess baggage!

Hope you have a good day.

I haven't been on MN for ages, this is one of the first threads I've read in months, and I'm in awe.

NoCapes you are brilliant. Your children are so lucky to have you as a role model.

When I left XH it felt... Comfortable. I'd done all my grieving already really. There was a lot of relief.

Your ex is an utter berk (yes, excellent word, needs using more!) for letting you go. I think he'll be realising that any minute now. You are way too good for him. He can't change. He's shown that time and again.

Years later my only regret is that I didn't leave sooner.

Hope baby improves today and that you gorge yourself on cake this afternoon

Well done, you are doing so well!

Your mum sounds awesome! I'm glad the baby slept well that always makes the day ahead seem a little more doable

You really are doing amazingly and I also have my metaphorical poms poms out cheering you on

Enjoy your and later and don't feel bad about talking to your friend about what's going on, she'll probably be vvv happy for you

NoCapes glad baby is doing a little better this morning, and mama Capes is indeed a legend! Just think that's how your babies will feel about you when they are older and realise just what you did to make their lives better!

I also think pillock should be revived and this is the perfect case to do that!!

Love your mum. My brill mum was just like that.
( now 88 with dementia :-( )

But 9 years ago when my exh had strarted to get really nasty, I locked myself in the bedroom and got on the phone and said mum, jump in a taxi, he's here and he's being nasty to me and she was there in 10 minutes.
If I'd had mumsnet then I'd have phoned the police. That would have given him the slap he deserved.

Oh, well done your mum. She's a star. I bet she's glad he's gone too.
I know my mum was.

We need more of your lovely mum stories ;-)