He hasn't come home

[NoCapes]

"D"P goes out a lot, I've started threads on him before, I mean he literally goes out 4/5 times a week
And he goes out every single Saturday night
He always gets in early hours of the morning and he sleeps on the couch
There's been the odd 'emergency' where he comes in at 8/9am-ish (friend was in hospital after a fight etc)
He's come in twice with make up on his t-shirt

Last night he went out and I've just got up with the baby to discover he hasn't come home
His phone is switched off

Will you all give me a shake and tell me the absolute glaringly obvious?...

I want to repeat what others have said to you.

You do not have to chat with him about your relationship at all.

If you have decided it is over, then it is over.

The only things you have to communicate about are DC, money, house, assets etc.

If he tries to talk to you to tell you that you are wrong (which is what he is saying) then simply say there is nothing to discuss and you are leaving/putting down the phone etc.

Respect, Capes. Massive respect. We are all right here behind ya xxx

Yeah, nocapes is such a prime example of how NOT to be . End sarcasm!

Ignore them! It takes guts and strength to do what you've done!

And ahhhh baby vomit. I do not miss that 😄
For your amusement... When my baby was mere days old, the postman rang the doorbell with a package. I had just fed my DS, it was early morning, I was wearing pyjama bottoms, a strappy top with no bra, I'd worn makeup bravely the day before and was wearing it the morning after... Mascara down my face ala 'kiss'. My wild curly hair dragged through. Hedge backwards look. And if that wasn't enough to scare the living shit out of the postman... I carried my DS to the front door, unlocked and in that nano second of unlock/pull door he vomited all over my neck, hair, down my cleavage and down my front

Agggh posted too soon! It immediately soaked through strappy top exposing my boobs...

He was speechless. He wordlessly passed the packaged. I wordlessly kicked the door shut and stared at myself in the hall mirror. Dignity evaporated forever 😂

I think you're amazing OP. I've followed this thread from yesterday and just wanted to give you a big hug and say well done. He treats you and his family with so little respect - the fact you had to deal with a miscarriage on your own with no support is awful.
It's so tough to make a decision and decide to go for a better life when you can't yet see what the better life will be. It's scary and takes guts. That better life is waiting and I am 100% sure you will look back on this day and thank your stars that you took the action you did. Take care and know that there's a whole community here rooting for you xx

Actually, if you read the other thread, there is nobody dissing capes on there. The point that a couple of people have made is to someone whose fiance is regularly going missing on benders, namely that she could get out now, before they get married and have children, rather than finding herself 10 years down the line when it's trickier and there are other lives at stake. Or at the very least, put her foot down now, rather than tolerating it and letting things get worse. I didn't see any disrespect to capes.

I used this thread on another similar thread but I was drawing attention to a specific post by someone else, earlier on. I hope that didn't upset you.

You, OP, have been marvellous. I am in awe. I really hope the other OP reads this and is inspired

this thread should be a sticky starred important thread

for all those who think theyre the only one who goes through this and can leav their dps

go nocapes!

Well done capes. You are a brave strong woman and it's hard to walk away from someone. Much easier to forgive and stay

You are amazing and be proud of yourself

And reading about your mc. Coping in hospital all alone and back home again looking after your 3other dc

What a wonderful mum you are and never forget it

P's love the fact you have him his dirty clothes

Gave 😳😳

Well done capes!! Been lurking to see how you were getting on, what an amazing mama you are. I really hope you are sat at home with your head held high, utter respect for you

Capes, the other thread was showing yours like like ghost of Christmas future. If only your difficulties can be used to save another from them.

It was a mistake at most.
We are for you!

Good night, we'll be here tomorrow.

I used you as the example on the other thread of what that poster SHOULD do, not in a negative way.I'm sorry if that's how it was taken!
I think you've done great!

noone is having a go at capes quite the opposite

we want to show this other poster how her life will turn out

Oh no I didn't think anyone was slagging me off, I just meant how sad that my life is so shit that people are advising not to end up like Capes
I totally agree though, I'm not offended atall and didn't take it like anyone was being shitty don't worry

Well Capes you have been somewhat inspiring to me. Through your thread, I have had the strength to ask, no tell, my husband to leave today ! So there you go. You actually may have saved 2 woman, 2 families (I have 2kids at home)
Please keep up your strength and I will do likewise.
I thought it was important to tell you that.
X

Go you flowerbomb.
What an great leap to take.
Rooting for you too!!

Just so sad that we sell ourselves so short that we end up with these man child's I the first place!

Wow what a lovely legacy to this thread!

flowerbombVR I'm so glad you found the strength to do what you did. It's not easy, but it is worth it. You and NoCapes are both awesome warrior women.

no probs nocapes :)

wow flowerbomb good for u

see its working!

The next few weeks/months will be the toughest.
I hope and pray we both have the strength to keep the bad out !
I will keep up with you Capes
Thanks again x

You are phenomenal and amazing, I haven't noticed the other thread but I've read all of yours and whenever I notice a strong woman taking no more shit I'll think "she's doing a capes" seriously, you deserve all the happiness

Just reading all those excuses they make .... I thought..... wouldn't it be an idea to type them all up and say to him and others like him ..."before you say anything read that list and check if it's there first. If it isn't ... just add to the list of excuses. I'm not actually interested in hearing what you have to say" -but I can pass the excuses on to my MN supporters.-

Capes you're doing remarkable. Lots of strength to you.

Well done flowers too. Perhaps you two can pm each other when this thread dies to make sure that neither of you have a wobble and give in. You both need all the strength you can muster.

A younger me would have benefited from reading this thread. Many people are posting such similar experiences to each other.

Anyone reading this and thinks this sounds like your DP - please think hard and reflect on what you want from life. I think it is rare that these men become respectful to thier partners.