He hasn't come home

[NoCapes]

"D"P goes out a lot, I've started threads on him before, I mean he literally goes out 4/5 times a week
And he goes out every single Saturday night
He always gets in early hours of the morning and he sleeps on the couch
There's been the odd 'emergency' where he comes in at 8/9am-ish (friend was in hospital after a fight etc)
He's come in twice with make up on his t-shirt

Last night he went out and I've just got up with the baby to discover he hasn't come home
His phone is switched off

Will you all give me a shake and tell me the absolute glaringly obvious?...

Bloody well done!

I would ask him to get down the suitcases this evening, if he refuses then just use bin bags tomorrow - let out that anger chucking his stuff into them and dump them outside the front door/at his parents.

reminder, this is EA script.
Sobbing, promises, justification, then when you don't cave it will be anger, threats, & denial PA & venom

Well done! Follow through and tomorrow pack up his shit and leave it outside. Lock up and don't let him in.
Do not back down.
You and he children deserve better, much better. Go you.

If I where you Id phone his mum and ask her to collect him. You are ace , he doesn't deserve you or his beautiful dc.

Well done NoCapes, he's clearly shitting it now
Keep up the good work, ypu're finally seeing him for what he is.

I'm doing a little victory dance in your honour 💃💃💃

Ooh and he's busy thinking up a fool proof story of where he was last night...
He'll offer to tell you. Just say you aren't interested. You don't care where he was, who he was with or what he was doing. And you don't care where he goes now.

You'll be in touch in relation to access to the children and that you expect to coparent sensibly and will not be using the children as a weapon. End of discussion. Don't let the door hit your Arse on the way out mate.

You should be bloody proud of yourself. First step to a new life!

I would call his bluff.
I would tell him, he either fucks off and leaves quietly. Or he can be dragged out. The choice is his. He has until 7:30 to make up his mind before it's made up for him.

You don't owe him a conversation, he owed you respect and has never given you any.

His behaviour that led you here is absolutely appalling, I hope you know just how wrong it is, I don't know anyone who would accept their partner behaving the way he does.... Only perhaps if they had an open marriage.

You need to keep your anger. Make a list, re-read your threads, whatever works.

If it were me I would rather be on my own than be treated like this.

don't let him turn on the emotions and talk about the years you have had together. Do some reading up on the sunk costs fallacy while you are waiting for him to get the hell out of your home. How bloody dare he. I bet he never for one moment thought you would get rid of him. Good.

Well done NoCapes, you rock!

nocapes I am proud of you. But you need to stay strong and keep this up! Don't let him worm his way back in with his lies and begging. Please don't. You deserve so much more, so do your kids. If you decide to go down the beauty route, I see posts on fb selling groups from people offering free treatments for training and people usually jump at the chance. Have them come to yours in the evenings when kids are in bed :)

Good luck, I know you can be free

He will currently be planning how to make this all 'OK'

He wants the life he has, and not in a good he loves you all so much way. But the taking the piss and having it all.

Once you have got him out then your new life can start.

From experience in a week or so you will realise how much easier your life is. Even with 3 kids. With no man child there to worry about. Walk on egg shells. Worry what you've done wrong you can at last breathe.

Keep strong. It is so bloody hard what you've done already. Be very proud.

You will have lots of adrenaline running around in your body right now, use it effectively. Continue to assert yourself and tell him what your expectations are around him leaving. You need to hear yourself say it as many times as he does.

When the adrenaline wears off you are likely to feel flat and tired, this is when you will be vulnerable and will need to remember your key messages, which you can then just say on repeat even if you are doing so on autopilot.

It's at that vulnerable stage that you will be more likely to be pulled into debate, don't allow it, there is nothing to debate, the relationship is over, you have asked him to leave, he must go.

Rooting for you, you deserve so much more from your partner.

In the immortal words of MegaMind, >FistPUMP!<

Stay strong. Stay focussed. We're all cheering you on; feel the kick-aas vibes we're sending.

You so deserve better than this OP. Hope you can stay strong and get his arse OUT!

Excellent work.

Hope hes going to get out of your house Capes hes a nasty sleazy little worm isnt he. Youre doing great!!! x

Thankyou all for cheering me on, it really genuinely is helping
I don't have anyone to really talk to or to support me in RL and I know you're all just words on a screen but knowing you're all wishing me the best is a really lovely feeling
So Thankyou

Don't wobble now - u are doing so well!
Get that fucker out and be the strong , feisty mum you really are without him chipping away at ur self worth !
Go You!! X

We're all cheering for you and your kids OP, knowing that you can break free of him and live a happy, fulfilled life is a beautiful thing. Having been there, I can honestly say the only way now is up!

Well done OP! You are utterly amazing for what you have achieved today.

Well done, you are so strong!
You and your children deserve better so don't let him try to tell you otherwise.
You'll be so much happier with the useless twat out of your life and so will the children. It's not going to make any differnce to them him actually not living there, just that their mum is happier as a result.
Stay strong, you're doing great! This is most definitely for the best.

You go girl - well done for standing up to him, so now he's snivelling - tough!

It is for the best
It definitely is