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[314dPiper]

Here we go!

Let the wisdom commence
The universe is in our favour!

Yes, literally every man I've been involved with has lied about what he's wanted even if that's blended with lies to himself (bear). H didn't lie to me actually.

Another thing that pisses me off is that if I'm honest I thought MSG was punching above his weight a bit with me so I thought he would realise that he was lucky to have me
He was lucky. He fucked it up.

waving you're too nice, to not be angry...
Have you finished the book?
Mine's on order!

We only met 3 weeks ago but I've been away for a week. Still managed 6 dates in those 2 weeks. He's totally unlike all the dicks I've met previously, we matched on Tinder and he deleted his account the day after we got chatting, he messages every day, doesn't play games and ticks all the boxes so far. It's going so well it's a bit unnerving!

ha ha! at least he hasn't put you off an entire continent cos that's a big source of men!

Now that I've decided that I'm DONE with dating until after I have licence/car/new job........... mr canceller tells me that he wants to roll around in bed wth me. em, this from the man who tried to shake my hand at the bus stop yesterday. I responded to that by telling him I was busy vomiting. Not sure what to 'do'.

I have had bad luck wit de farteners. Well, one. He was the one who most obviously played me though. Still pushing revenge thoughts out of my head. I am brainstorming for petty shit that is legal.

I reckon he was checking you out.

I usen't to be brave enough to do that, but now having paid a babysitter to go out with so many eejits I think it's a good idea to ring up first if you're brave enough. I'm a bit autie over the phone though. I speak at the same time, or panic to fill a silence and I am aware that it's stressful so I can't concentrate on what they're saying.

Actually, maybe the phone first idea is a good idea for them but not for me! I'd shoot myself massively in the foot.

My 'nice girl syndrome' book arrived. Going to m&d's later. I sometimes bring a book. Ha, she'd roll her eyes if I brought this. She tells me I've been disobedient since I was 18 months old.

I'm thinking of emailing mr canceller and telling him the truth how I feel. That he went from zero to 60 with three gear changes with that rolling around in bed comment and I was very surprised as he had tried to shake my hand a few hours previously. I like him as a friend I think. I just can't stop thinking about practicalities and I've been round the block on public transport now enough times to know that if I don't drive and he doesn't have a car and we're not connected by one convenient bus route .... it's just going to get chalked up as another failure which will drain us both, possibly him more than me.

It might... I don't want to hurt him. And you know what we'd think if a man said to us ''I don't want to hurt you''.

I think you did pass the test!

I know there's a thread on here warning people of the link between whatsapp and facebook but I think it's handy for checking out potential dates! Have you found him on facebook?

I would like to see mrcanceller again because I like him. Not sure about sex. It's such a contrast. MSG was from the moment we met pulling me in to a hug, and even as I was thinking, crikey bit forward, he was pushing hair out of my face, stroking my cheeking, holding my hand.......... HOw much of that was his interest in me, and how much was him being a randy 50 something year old man who couldn't believe his luck when I messaged him.

Just glancing briefly at the other book I ordered and it looks good. Straight in there like a good psychotherapist asking you to identify which part of your personality you hid in recent relationships. Haven't time to fall down this rabbit hole now so I'll give it full attention later. But off the top of my head, with H (not that that was a relationship) I suppressed any sort of self-doubt, reticence, hesitance, procrastination.... eg, total nightmare for me :-p
With msg I suppressed something as well. Spirituality and my interest in 'growth' I think. He just guffawed at yoga, had no time for vegetarians, thought psychotherapy made people worse off........

hmm, so first thoughts are this deeper dating book could help me grow. lol. MSG would have rolled his eyes. he hadn't time to 'grow'. He had two baby mommas and he was on call 24/7. GROW? don't be ridiculous.

Hey guys, Can I join you? Just split with my boyfriend of 16 months

Afternoon all.

Ah, sorry to hear that PF I recall you saying he had some stuff going last I recall, you were trying to give him some space, I guess its all come to a head. I hope you're okay.

Have you thought about buying a cheap automatic 314 trust me driving one is easy. It would save on the lessons too.

You love the Americans, don't you Waving :)

It has. I'm hurting but I can't do anything about it. Each day will get better.

Just checking in quickly as just found this thread. Will catch up properly soon. It was me that recommended the Nice Girl book, hope it's more helpful than not!

I'm 5 months in with the only guy I ever spoke to with OLD. Starting to think about meeting each other's children. It's a very easy and comfortable relationship but I have entered the phase of really picking fault with the whole relationship - can't figure out if that's self preservation or genuine faults I'm seeing. My judgement is screwed!

Look forward to catching up on the thread 😊

What happened PF was it something you both decided or....

He admitted he didn't love me anymore when I challenged him.

I see. That's a tough one. It sounds like he had a lot of stuff going on from his last relationship. It may not feel like it now, you may well be better off out of this situation.

Sorry to hear that PatheticFallacy. How are you doing? If you challenged him, I'm guessing he hadn't been a good boyfriend lately?

I haven't listened to this one recenlty but they're all very similar, not matter what the 'aim'. I think they helped me.

waving it's called deeper dating by ken page. It's quite a serious looking read compared to matthew hussey's get the guy! but that's ok. It#s about you, as the reader, not about anybody else. I think. I love this stuff :-p

i'm going to read the Nice Girl Syndrome book first. That seems like the right order.
I went to church earlier with my mum, dad and the kids. Coming out, my dd said "omg, I was like, 'goddd, so like, todally borrrrrred' and my mum just instantly disagreed with her and said ''no you weren't''. And I said, You might not be thrilled that she was bored, but that's how she felt and and you can't disagree with her about how she FELT''. :-| My mum gave me the gimlet eye. She thinks I'm going through the menopause because I see things now that I just used to let slide.

I should get off the internet and start reading. I'm so off men for the next six months I want to get a pixie cut. men hate pixie cuts. Lol. That should do it.

He's been a pretty dreadful boyfriend for months. No passionate kisses or handhold ing or affection for quite some time. I was just kidding myself really that it'd be ok.

He should have said something sooner than he did. You had to challenge him.

not a pixie cut, but this?