Moldie Daters growing, gaining wisdom, strength and insights, delivering truth kindly, yoga, meditation, hypnosis, self-help books, netflix recommendations, quick outfit checks & more

[314dPiper]

Here we go!


Let the wisdom commence
The universe is in our favour!

[CiaoVerona]

Hey, Waving are you back............:)

Heh

[314dPiper]

Hooray! Back in Blighty

[QueenLizIII]

what is a moldie?

[CiaoVerona]

Well, sounds like you're in a good place I don't think dating will do you any harm at all.

[AnnaChronism]

Evening placemark

I'll read up now but my news is that I've messed things up with my latest chap today. Oops.

[314dPiper]

I just sent a message on okcupid to some guy. 93% match, 3% enemy and I liked his blurb too.

Also, I'm going out for tapas with Mr Canceller on Friday but it's just to catch up. he's so hesitant, he asked me out (by email) in a really cautious way, 'do you think it's a good idea?'. and I said that it was a great idea on the basis that we enjoyed each other's company! So I'm looking forward to it. It's just a chat and a few tapas.

[314dPiper]

Anna what happened?

[314dPiper]

lol at coming home to the amazon delivery of self-help books!

[AnnaChronism]

Welcome back waving

Good running 314 you're guilting me into getting moving again.

That all sounds good prizey. gast and starskey may you have many more excellent dates.

Ah I have the opposite problem to some people, whereas they invest too quickly I just...don't invest. My RL friends tell me I always say 'I've met this man but I don't think I like him that much because...' This was another one I just wasn't investing in, I don't know what it is with me. I can't seem to fall for anyone. I'd like to but it just doesn't happen for me.

[314dPiper]

I was like that with MSG to begin with, very much like, ok, this guy seems so keen, I'll go out with him again, it was fun anyway, then as soon as I start to grow attached to the flawed fickle fuckers I get the p45.

Weirdly, I'm not upset. I was upset after H. This time I'm more cross than upset. Unlike with H, I thought we were much more ourselves around each other. There was genuinely something there and he just went off me even though I did nothing to misrepresent myself, I didn't lie, I wasn't passive aggressive, dramatic, needy.... I was honest, communicative, we got on, in and out of bed and I found him funny and he found me funny. And then he just suddenly....... withered and disappeared. So I know I did nothing 'wrong' . Whatever realisation he had about me on his holiday would have been equally as apparent the first time we went out because I was always myself with him.

Slow burner next time I think.

[314dPiper]

just ordered the nice girl syndrome one and another one, deeper dating. It was recommended by a reviewer who said something about pattern of being rejected

[314dPiper]

Can't sleep. Don't be disappointed in me, but I fired off a 1.40am whatsapp to tell him that I'd felt fine after talking to him on Monday, but when he came back to me earlier to 'clarify' it upset because it was so unfair of him to try and apportion any part of his decision to my not responding to his spartan communication when he'd already 'gone' and we both knew that. I also said that his 'clarification' was more like ''please respect my right to be fickle''.

So I blocked him on whatsapp. And deleted his name from contacts. I wish you could just delete somebody altogether but when they're in your whatsapp I don't know how to do that.

He's such an arsehole to try and make ME feel that I played a part in his decision somehow. It was all on him. He was so fickle. He should just fucking own that. I can see now why his ex hates him.

At least now I won't be wondering if he's going to come back and say something else that makes me feel worse. I deleted him off fb too so that I didn't start trying to show case a fabulous life.

[314dPiper]

I feel better for firing it off waving
In my first text, it's like I still wanted him to think well of me and sometimes wonder if he'd done the right thing. But by 1 am I was angry. Him think well of me? Fuck that. My opinion of him is what counts and he is an arsehole to have gone quiet on me before he went away, but kept the situation/me dangling for another fortnight+
I would have flirted much more with a man who tried to flirt with me in the barber's getting my son's hair cut if he'd dumped me before he went away. All this shit would be two weeks ago for me now, but no, he decided that he would make himself feel better by telling me that my not replying to the communication I'd waited 9 days for played a part in his decision? What an arsehole!
That arsehole is never getting the privilege of my company again. I'm an honest person and I don't mislead people or encourage them to feel bad about stuff that they would have done after they quite rightly moved on for me.

OK now that that anger is out of my system, I feel better actually. Screw the loss of dignity or whatever.

[314dPiper]

Unfortunately of course, he is the one that I will no doubt run in to again. At some point. Not today not tomorrow, but his dd my son's age, we had a couple of mutual acquaintances (although not friends) and although we'd no mutual fb acquaintances, I could see a few people on his list were friends with people on my list. Over lap. Slight overlap.

[314dPiper]

The long flight sounds torture!
lol at kids bright as a button at 3am! Hopefully they'll all get back in to their rhythms today.
Have a good day at work!

[DrMorbius]

DrMorbius are you a man? I keep assuming you are

Yes, I am.

It was lucky I saw your question waving and by explanation of why I occasionally hang around this thread. I have a "rule" that when I open up the Relationships Board, I look at the most recent post (the one on the top), no matter what. So when I logged on at 7:40am. Your thread was top, hence I look at the last page only and luckily saw your q to me.

[314dPiper]

Oh I like Danes!

I'm really trying with the amazing life. Feel a lot of pressure there. Job-hunting like a beaver and getting nowhere, got in to work this mornign to a younger colleague who had good news, she's leaving. I'm happy for her honestly as nobody sane would stay in this place forever. It just highlighted my own slower progress. She's very nice though and only ever says positive things, not platitudes. Kind of wise for her age.

Can't book any lessons on an auto, there are fewer of them, booked solid for weeks in advance it seems.

Loads of bills to pay. Need more money. Can't buy clothes.....

I know why MSG's losing interest in me hurts so much more than H's. It's not only that I didn't feel a connection with H, it's that MSG's certainty about me lulled me in to a state of relaxation early on. His certainty about me (faked) made me feel secure, whereas with H I had the seat belt and the hard hat on. This time I was fired higher in to the air, harsher landing. I'll be really honest as well, I thought he was lucky to have me.

[314dPiper]

That's true waving Thanks.
I do know this time it wasnt me. Im not feeling inadequate (believe it or not, i would have, once upon a time)
A man of his age should know that he has a tendency to feel strongly at first and then lose interest. I bet it's happened to him before. He would have known he had that tendency. I didnt know that.

Now i realise H was honest to me. His life was more ordered generally. He met me in person to end things. He was not for me and it hurt but i can see now he ended it more smoothly than msg.

I agree with your friend about soho. Forgive him! but he shouldnt enjoy your company after what he did.