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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh is leaving me - bolt out of the blue

992 replies

aleC4 · 21/08/2016 23:12

That's it really. We celebrated 15 years married 2 weeks ago. I thought we had a happy marriage. I still love him the same as I did when we met but apparently he doesn't feel the same anymore. He thinks the works of me as a mate but the spark is gone and he no longer loves me.
We have just come back from a week's holiday and had lots of fun but apparently it was just like friends and he can't pretend anymore.
I feel utterly gutted and am so so sad for my children that they are going to have to go through this. I can't think straight at the moment, I just feel sick.
He wants to tell them tomorrow and move out to his dad's round the corner. It is going to destroy my beautiful children.

OP posts:
whitehandledkitchenknife · 28/10/2016 11:51

Cake Happy Birthday aleC4. Keep riding the roller coaster - it will all smooth out in the end.

BummyMummy77 · 28/10/2016 11:58

Late to this thread Alec but Happy birthday. CakeFlowersStarChocolate

PacificOcean · 28/10/2016 13:12

Happy birthday Alec! Cake

Ladycakescc81 · 28/10/2016 21:44

I've read all your posts and cried for you, I've been amazed by your strength and wanted to wish you a very Happy Birthday. Flowers

aleC4 · 29/10/2016 09:26

Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. I had a lovely day yesterday. The kids were fabulous and had arranged loads of little things like decorating the house and getting me a birthday cake and candles.
My parents came for the day but when we got to the restaurant my youngest sister and baby nephew had made a surprise (very long) journey to be there too. It was a lovely surprise and so nice to see them.
So it's back to earth with a bump today as the kids go off with exh to see his new rented place. They are all excited about going to Ikea later to choose their beds. He is moving in in two weeks which is seriously putting the pressure on me to get my mortgage moving. I keep chasing them but it feels like it's taking so long to get the decision. I haven't even had the valuation yet even though I have already paid £445 for the privilege! I am guessing my inlaws must have stumped up the cash for his references, de[posit, bond etc as he is still paying me half of this place too.
I want to say to him woah, slow down. If he moves in in 2 weeks he is going to have to start paying rent. My mortgage/bills etc are covered by him for this month but if I don't get my mortgage sorted soon I am going to be screwed. I need to get them to hurry it along. I don't know what he will say if I turn round to him at the end of this month and say my mortgage is still not sorted and you agreed to pay half of everything until it was!!

OP posts:
GertyTheGert · 29/10/2016 09:39

I have heard this "story" quite a few times and am sad to say 99% there was another woman and the husband first went back to "Mum n Dads" and when he thought the coast was a bit clearer - you are such a good Mum; I respect you; blah blah..... - off the husband went with the other woman. I so much feel for you but in due course it may come to pass when you see what the real reason is (sorry but I dont believe men who merely say "I no longer love you" - there is ALWAYS a sodding reason behind their leaving) you will be thankful you haven't done a stepford wives and accepted no love in your marriage. Luv n hugs to you all.

Mamia15 · 29/10/2016 10:05

So he moved to a new rental place before you got the mortgage sorted....what is the huge rush that he is risking putting his DC's home in jeopardy?! He so definitely has OW on his case pushing for him to move to a new place...

Bloody selfish entitled arsehole.

I would be very tempted to take my time in sorting out the finances to inconvenience him but I know you won't want to risk the consequences.

togetherlikeglue · 29/10/2016 10:05

Happy belated birthday aleC. You are a shining star and I take my hat off to you. Your children are so lucky to have such a caring, intelligent and thoughtful mum. Warm wishes to you all. Flowers

GertyTheGert · 29/10/2016 10:20

Mamia15 oh how right you are! The fucker is being pushed by the OW alright - one min living with his "parwents" and next has a rented place sorted? That's how he can afford - prob the OW is paying 1/3 (doubt half!!!!)
Prob two mths previously when he broached the subject of his marriage, the OW had said Hurry Up & Leave - I give you ooooh lets see, two mths .........

whitehandledkitchenknife · 29/10/2016 10:40

Just in time to play happy families with OW at xmas. What a silly,little man.

aleC4 · 29/10/2016 12:35

Feeling really low today.
I think it is a mixture of things. The house was so full on Thursday night with my lovely friends and then yesterday with my family. Now all of a sudden I am on my own in a quiet house.
The kids are out with their dad choosing beds for his new house. They were so excited. He has even managed to blag a kiss of free lively furniture as the current tenants don't want to take it.
It just feels like everything is coming up roses for him while I'm stuck here living in a horrible uncertainty of whether or not I can keep my house. He gets to walk away scot free and live happily ever after while I'm left feeling shit.
Sorry for the wallowing. I know I have so much to feel thankful for with my amazing kids but this financial stuff is really doing my head in.

OP posts:
whitehandledkitchenknife · 29/10/2016 12:47

aleC4 you're not wallowing. You're dealing with momentous shifts in your life. Keep focusing on you and your children and navigating a way through. It may seem like he's walking away into the sunset with everything rosy. It's hard, but try not to compare what you imagine is going on in his life with yours. What he's up to is now no longer your concern, except wrt the children. You will come through this and I'd wager a considerable sum that in time to come, you will be the happier of the two (not that we're comparing). You have been liberated. He has shackled himself. Gently, gently on yourself today.Flowers

yohoohoo · 29/10/2016 16:33

Happy birthday Ale. I think you need to take a step back or at least step outside of the situation and peer in to what"s happened and is happening. Ive been googling and reading up on various advice on surving and coping with an affair and there seems to ne a pattern and at least 3-6 stages. Most advice says it can take up to 2 years to literally even start to get over infidelaty and at least 6 months before you even know what you want for your future. You should never ever be rushed into making decisions that you will later regret. Your exH must think how easy all this has been...everything is going his way perfectly even at the cost of conning his DC. If you are still going ahead with the mortgage and money split that your handing over there are other things you need to consider...you need to speak to yr ExH about making a will. Will everything be left to your DC or what if he and OW suddenly live together will everthing be handed over to the OW and her DC how would you feel about that? It's not too late to put things on hold and exH will have to accept it. Seriously have a good think about it whilst your on your own this weekend before signing anything

PacificOcean · 29/10/2016 16:37

Alec, can you think of a little birthday treat to make you feel better today? Maybe a rom com DVD and a big bar of chocolate? Chocolate

LadySpratt · 29/10/2016 17:40

aleC4 I started reading this thread this morning and I had already shed a tear by the second page. I haven't stopped reading until now.
I don't have any stories or experience of this to give you advice from, but I have to say what an absolute inspiration you are. Hats off to you for so many aspects of how you've handled this.
All the very, very best, you deserve it. X

aleC4 · 29/10/2016 19:24

Thanks for the kind words everyone.
Once again I am left picking up the pieces after the dc visit their dad.
When they came back they were full of it and going on and on about all the new things they had chosen.
However, fast forward a few hours and all hell has broken loose with moods and emotions. We've had a lot of anger, tears, shouting etc and finally admired that it has unsettled them a lot.
I think it has made it all more real for them and it is yet another change for them to deal with. I could bloody throttle him for putting the kids through all this.

OP posts:
notrocketscience · 29/10/2016 20:14

Alec, you sound so lovely, yet so hurt and shattered. I wish I could be there with you in RL just to make you a coffee, something to eat and just listen.
It's no consolation but like many others on here, I've been in your position and the "script" is word perfect. I fast forwarded to the post where you found out about the OW. (It took me 2 weeks and a search of emails). Sadly things will get worse and he (egged on by OW) will accuse you of being a bad mother and threaten to take your children away from you.

Your love for him has not yet died (it will) so you are still treating him with generosity and kindness. Please don't. Please listen to those telling you to look after your own interests and those of your dc because he really is a classic low life. You will get over this and emerge stronger. His relationship with the DC will suffer unless he can genuinely start thinking about them first but it doesn't sound like he can be that unselfish. My own DC are nc with their father now after brutal rounds of cafcass and court officials. I hope he is not the complete arse that mine was but my lovely girl it's not looking good. All I can say is hang on and truly you will come through this and you will always get support on here from your very real virtual well wishers. Much Love sent to you. XXX

aleC4 · 29/10/2016 20:45

Thanks not rocket science. I do think though that my love for him has died. When I look at him now I feel no love. He looks very different now to how he did even a year ago and he is not the same person.
When I look at him now I feel anger and just a bit of sadness about what has happened but certainly not love.
When I see photos of him before that is when I feel more sadness. When I packed up some of his clothes I felt sad but it was more sadness of what won't be now.
I don't miss him at all. I miss someone being there but not him specifically. I miss the future I thought I had.

The hardest thing is that my poor children are going through the hardest time of their lives and I am having to deal with it on my own. To be honest I am making it up as I go along and just praying I am handling it all right.
Dd has been so hard again tonight. All is calm now but I do really worry about whether I am handling her right or not.
If I could just have one wish it would be to fast forward 6 months to us, in this house, with the financial stuff all sorted. I know it won't be easy and things will be tight but I just want it over. Skint I can deal with but uncertainty I can't.

OP posts:
aleC4 · 30/10/2016 01:31

Still awake.
Feel like I've gone backwards again these last couple of days. I'm finding it really hard to sleep. I just can't switch off at night. Everything is whurrung round in my head over and over.

OP posts:
whitehandledkitchenknife · 30/10/2016 01:48

Me too aleC4. I'm just about to make a milky drink with a tot of whisky in it. Called a 'nutty' in these here parts. You're doing so well and it's only natural that you get the slumps too.It will work out and you will survive. You have proven yourself to be one hell of an amazing woman. It's tough seeing your children struggle but you are there for them. You are their constant. If you can't sleep, simply rest, don't try to force it. Flowers

aleC4 · 30/10/2016 01:59

Thanks.
I haven't laid in bed crying for about 6 weeks now until tonight. I just feel very overwhelmed again at the moment. I feel helpless as though I can't control what is going on around me.
Then I think I bet he isn't lying awake upset. He's sorted now with his new home and his happy ever after.
I know he won't be as I have the children most of the time and therefore I am the happier but it just feels really shit right now. I really am panicking about what to do about money next month if my mortgage is not sorted.

OP posts:
whitehandledkitchenknife · 30/10/2016 02:08

Nope. Still can't sleep here. I hope you've managed to nod off aleC4. It's easy to say don't worry, but I know what it's like to have things go round and round your head, getting bigger and bigger. You need a practical, in your hand, back up plan. Do you have anyone IRL who could sub you in the short term? Do you have family/friends who would be able to do this? I'm sure you've already thought about that. Who is practically supporting you at the moment? Not just popping by to wish you happy birthday. Do we need to set up a crowd funding page to make sure your mortgage gets paid?
Try not to go down the despair route. Have a good cry. Get some sleep. In the morning you will get up and face the day because each day that you do, brings you closer to being free from this. Take good care of yourself.

nicenewdusters · 30/10/2016 02:35

Hi OP. Just caught up with your thread, was wondering how you were doing.

These nights (somebody once described them to me as "the long night of the soul"!) are very testing. They creep up every now and again. Reading your latest posts you've really been on the roller coaster. Great birthday, friends and family over, busy house. Then, children with him, clearing out his stuff, having to hear from the dc about his new home, their part in it, then the inevitable crash for them and you.

You're right. He's a complete bastard. For doing this to you and his children. And it is an active thing, and that's what hurts. He's made choices, and he's lied, because he knows deep down his choices are selfish and cowardly. Be angry, allow the hurt to wash over you. But remember, your dc may have a lovely new bed each in his new flat, but they'll essentially be guests there. With you they'll have a home. Warmth, unconditional love, honesty, a space to be themselves, a future. You can't buy any of that at Ikea.

I think that when it's all moving so fast, everything is changing, these moments always come. Your life before probably went quite smoothly, work, weekends, holidays, ups and downs, but you felt in control. As you rightly say, living with uncertainty is hard, and loss of control equally so. For that reason I understand your need to sort out your mortgage. But if next month he has rent and the mortgage to pay - not your problem. He's moving his life in this direction. You haven't instigated any of this. He could still be living rent free with his parent, but chose not to. Chose. You haven't been given a choice, but you can choose to say to him "your problem, not mine."

Even if he's a bastard he will have to live - forever - with what he's done to you and the dc. Your sleepless nights will pass. Already you don't miss him, for you it's the financials (which will be sorted) and the dc. His dc will grow up to judge him, and he'll be found wanting. He'll never have the relationship with them that he'd like. That's a lot of sleepless nights.

As for making it up with the dc as you go along - that's fine, we're all doing that. Age appropriate honesty, that's my stance. Don't polish his image for them, kids are smart (you know that) they work this stuff out for themselves. Don't tie yourself in knots trying to present an image of him that's totally at odds with what he's actually doing/like as a person. His relationship with them is his responsibility.

Hope sleep comes for you soon. Take care.

sumoweeble · 30/10/2016 02:38

So sorry to read your story and not surprised you are feeling wobbly.

Have you asked your solicitor about the legalities of all this? Surely your ex can't (legally) just stop paying the mortgage until his name is off the deeds? He's the one who will have to borrow money if he hasn't got enough to cover his rent and his mortgage obligations not you. I think your solicitor should write him a nasty letter to that effect if he does not continue to stump up the cash until the remortgage is through.

Hope you are able to sleep soon. xxx

Mamia15 · 30/10/2016 07:39

Make seeing a shit hot lawyer your priority - you will be better informed and protected which will help you feel more in control.

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