What a prick! Pissed offwith me because I've got my period.

[FindingSmeagol]

I've been away from Dp for a week with dd 2. It was only meant to be a couple of nights but she ended up in hospital for one night with an infection (absolutely fine now) so I went from there to my family as I knew he'd be working and I wanted some support. First morning home and he notices San pro in the bathroom and says 'oh ffs your kidding?!' Um no these things happen monthly and no I've no control over it . I said 'you are Joking right? He's not. He feels cheated out of another few days of sex because he knows I'm not up for it in the first few days. Not really an AIBU. Just a 'what a cockwoble' klaxon type rant. Agh and breathe.

[selsigfach]

Stay strong, don't let him fool you. You can get away from this safely and give your daughter the future you both deserve.

[venusinscorpio]

Don't be ridiculous Lucylloyd.

[ElspethFlashman]

Lucy it's generally recommended to read the whole fucking thread.

[Truckingalong]

Lucy, please educate yourself before posting mindless nonsense like that. Someones emotional, mental and physical well being is at risk here.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Ignore.

Smeagol just popped back on to say, really take care of yourself. Make sure someone (your friend?) is aware of what's happening. And keep yourself safe.

[quicklydecides]

Thinking of you OP, I hope you and your daughter will soon be living in absolute harmony and contentment

[Awoof]

Hi smeagol:)

I left a similar situation 6 months ago now, but actually started getting my ducks in a row in January.
It did take a while, and I wasn't very well supported except by my best friend (i didnt want to tell my parents about the sexually abusive nature of me wanting to leave)
It hasnt been easy, Hes been a little difficult over child maintenance, sometimes acts a little bit odd but all in all I feel so relieved.
I remember the constant groping and gaslighting. I think unless you are in thatsituatuon it is hard to appreciate how slow-burn distressing it is.
I dont think any woman wants hands being shoved up tops and down trousers randomly and in presence of children etc. Even a couple of occasions when I was heavily pregnant I remember him trying to have sex with me as I slept and pestering me a week after an emc.
It makes me feel sick now.

Anyway sorry for going on. I guess I just want to tell you how fucking worth it it will be. How nice it is to be able to watch a tv program without cringing that they're getting too close to you. Being able to walk around in a towel after the bath without someone grabbing at it.

Keep at it anyway. You are doing brilliantly x

[Memoires]

Smeagol, it's a roller coaster of confusion at first, but things will even out and you will become surer of the decisions you make (whatever they are).

I missed Lucy's post, but there's always one, isn't there?

[dowhatnow]

yourhand and awoof - so glad that your lives are heaps better now. You are just the people to persuade smeagol that it really is better when you come out the other side. Thanks for posting.

[FindingSmeagol]

I'm trying to keep my head firmly screwed on and look at everything with fresh eyes. It's the direct opposite of what I've been doing for years. I've always made an effort to forget anything bad.

awoof I'm glad that's all behind you now. I too don't think every woman really wants to be constantly felt up and to be treated as though they're ungrateful, moody bitches if they resist.

However confusing it feels the fact that it feels better that I'm on my own for most of this evening than with him speaks volumes for our relationship without anything else.

[titsmcgee22]

Smeagol,
I am de-lurking to say how strong and fab you are. I genuinely don't normally post on MN but in my line of work I meet lots of women in situations like yours and I am in awe of your strength and composure (even though you may not feel like that).
Wishing you all the best for your future with your DD, I'm one of many rooting for you

[DeadGood]

How are you today Smeagol?

[IsThisTheWorldWeCreated]

Hi Smeagol

Yet another lurker popping up to say hello. In fact I've only signed up to do so!

Everyone has already expressed their shock, horror and anger at your situation. From the sheer volume you know that you have a great deal of support here, and I'm sure there will be some in your area who are more than happy to help.

The latest development troubles me - groping and pawing at you when he's concerned there has been a shift. He doesn't understand that this is simply wrong and seems to confuse affection with groping. I realise that you guys have been together since you were both young (us men in our early 20s have a lot more growing up to do that most women), and that can normalise immature behaviour. However, there is no way that he can't understand the harm. There will have been a million clues in your manner over the years so I don't think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Look after your DD and yourself, get out as soon as you are ready. Whether you go on to meet someone else or it is just the two of you, your weekend away has shown how much happier you will be.

Keep your head up high, you're doing superbly.

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

Hi smeagol

I've just read all 36 pages and just commenting to say I think you are bloody marvellous! You've commented with honesty, dignity and grace in the face of horrible memories for you and current horrible actions from your partner.
I can only echo others in saying don't bother with mind games, it's potentially dangerous and time wasting, no one worth their salt is going to judge you if you 'give in' to his demands-don't worry about doing this at the minute, I feel now is not the time to become a super woman and fight him off verbally and physically! People are only judging you in the best way possible-that you're a bloody tough cookie who might crumble (pardon the pun) but will get right back up and find the right way for you and your daughter.
We are all behind you

[CoraPirbright]

Just wanted to drop in and say that you are never far from my thoughts at the moment Smeagol. Hope you are feeling ok.

[coconutpie]

Smeagol, how are you doing this week?

[boo2410]

Smeagol, read your whole thread, just hoping you're ok as you've not been on for a few days. You really are an inspiration, even though you probably think so. These are for you , thinking of you.

[FindingSmeagol]

Thank you all for the kind and supportive words. You'll probably never know just how much they've helped me to achieve already and hopefully will do in the future. I've stopped and I am stopping posting on this thread as I can sense that my partner knows something is up and my paranoia is getting the best of me. Not much has changed yet but I'm getting real life support and am still resolute that I want out of this relationship. A sincere and heartfelt thank you to everyone

[CakeByTheOcean]

Good luck for the future

[JacquettaWoodville]

Good luck and thanks for posting an update!

[hedwig2001]

Good luck.

[ElspethFlashman]

The very best of luck.

[Snowshimmer]

I'm glad you're getting real life support
Good luck!

[erinaceus]

FindingSmeagol