not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Prizey hard won wisdom through bitter experience TBH. Guess that's what age gives you! Wish I'd had MN when I was younger. I prob wouldn't have made so many crap relationship decisions...

I'm going on a date this weekend. My first over a year really.

I have been texting this one guy for weeks. We speak all day every day just laughing and joking and being silly. We have had the odd more serious chat but it's so light and lovely.

I'm actually now so nervous because what if we don't have anything to say in real life?

Myusernameismyusername Don't worry too much (easier said than done I know). If you don't have anything to say in real life and the silences are awkward then it wasn't meant to be and you can move on to the next.
You have nothing to lose here because as it states in rule #4 "It's all BS until it actually happens"

Destinys great to hear you love your new job. Good luck with MrPosh tonight.

Prizey H&C sounds like he wants it all on his terms with minimal effort. I say go for youngchef you lucky thing

Myuernameismyusername What have you got to lose? Just go with an open mind. If it works it works, if it doesn't then you move on.

Awaits Waving's up-date on the chin brothers.

No news from ANY of my irons.

Hi all. Busy times you lot! myusername I am the same I chat lots before hand too. Just see this as time I'd have otherwise wasted on fb or mumsnet so its an added bonus! And I learn a bit on the way too, one of the unexpected plus points for dating in my opinion, my mind is being exposed to all sorts of new subjects which I am loving.

Ooh plus mrwelshboyis back on the scene (he makes my brain fizz with intereat so thats good, think he is perfect for a fwb scenario which is what ive decided I am looking for with an emphasis on the f and seeing the benefits as a bonus if it happens) seeing him sunday night...and mrwoodsman is still there, daytime date on Wednesday but think he wants more which is where ive worked out my uneaae with him lies.

'Not sure what will Fairbanks'

I spent ages trying to work out if that was a euphemism

Yay waving! So pleased he's a 2nd Dater!

Its my first ever online date tomorrow. I'm not long separated, ex moved out but insistent he is moving back in lots of bullying and emotiomal blackmail. Anyway started OLD lark just to dip my toe in and see what was on.the market. Didn't plan on dating till after xmas ! Advice anyone? What to wear where etc..Good luck all daters this weekend!

Also my heart actually flutters when he messages or semds a photo. Like physically. Haben't felt this for 10 years. Figured meeting him.sooner rather than later in case i am getting ahead ofyself and he s no like real life

Are people better or worse in RL.#shitmyself

Waving I am wondering the same thing!

I went on date on Wednesday with iron I had been messaging for over a week, we also spoke on the phone before and we got along very well . He is nice looking and it was very easy to talk to him and he is funny etc. But I am not sure if I fancy him. We didn't kiss either. I am meeting him again tonight as I want to see how I feel when I see him again.

I am just wondering whether people usually know after the 1st date?

Yep I am wondering the same too!

Went on a second date with Mr Cricket last night. Was nice enough, easy to chat to, fairly attractive. I just don't know whether I fancy him! I feel I should be absolutely blown off my feet and wanting to rip his clothes off/spend all my free time with him but perhaps a slow burner is good? I have no idea. All previous dating/ relationships that have had that intensity have gone tits up, so perhaps I shouldn't necessarily judge the success of dates on that. But surely I should feel excited? If mrcricket asked me on a further date, I'd be thinking it would be a lovely evening but I'm not sure I'd have butterflies. So I have no idea what to do!

No other irons at the moment, GSM is a bit lacking! Need to set up Facebook and tinder but I have a busy week ahead so might wait until the week after when I actually have time to meet up

After another ignored text I decided to bite the bullet and send H&C a text to say I didn't want to leave things with bad feelings but this wasnt working out for me, told him he was a lovely guy and I wished him all the best for future happiness and health and if he ever needed a friend to chat to for support (he has recovered from a health issue which could return) then he knows where I am. He replied with a sad face and said he's sorry I feel like that but understands, and said he's had a lot of fun too. I really didn't want to be somebodies bit of fun . I replied that I got the feeling lately that is what he wanted too. No response Feeling really low at the moment and could do with a hand hold. Anyway at least there is closure from this complete headfuck and I can move on. Talking to lots of irons at the moment, but my heart isn't in it.

barn congratulations on the fluttery feelings! Sounds brilliant.
waving yay to second date with Chin
Prosecco I'd say 2nd or even 3rd date. He could be a grower.

Prizey sorry to hear that but sounds like you did the right thing and took the bull by the horns rather than letting it go on and feeling worse about it.

I think second dates are better for judging how much you like someone. I know in my case sometimes I'v liked them loads first time meeting and less on 2nd and the other way too.

Well things with The Hunk are still going good. He's attentive and lovely, we have good conversations. He's a closed book and is slowly opening up. Of course they has to be a but; after our date the other night the taxi drive asked for my number. I told him I was seeing someone so no thank you. I mentioned it to the hunk and was quizzed about if I was flirting and what happened. Saw real jealousy, it made me uneasy. Trying not to let the fact I want to rip his clothes off cloud my judgement! I'm going to have a chat with him next time I see him about it and I can see his reaction as it was on the phone.

God this dating world is hard

prizey that's a shame - have a hand hold - but better finding out now before you get more emotionally involved. You don't just want to be someone's bit of fun if you are looking for a relationship. Hot and cold is never a good thing I think consistency is the key otherwise you can never be confident of where you stand can you?

If you are not feeling OLD at the moment maybe have a little break and then hit the ground running when you feel a bit better? I'm sure things will look better in a couple of days.

Hello new joiner and NC. 'D'H left me 2 yrs ago and last night I had my first ever evening date with a guy from OLD. Anyway 2 bottles of wine later and he came back to mine and we dtd. Now here hung over and confused. No idea how to do all this dating thing. No idea whether I should or shouldn't have. He was nice and wants to see me again. This is so not me. It's been 20 yrs since I dated.

I haven't read the whole thread but pls reassure me. I'm finding OLD all quite scary.

Thanks Minop, Petal & Waving. Feels crap because he didn't communicate his feelings, about anything, if he'd have managed my expectations I could have lived with it and enjoyed it for what it was, instead he was acting like a boyfriend smitten when we were together then like a stranger when we were apart. Even now he hasn't communicated his feelings, so frustrating.
waving meeting youngchef on Monday lunchtime! not sure though, his FB pictures do not look anything like the hottie in his dating profile but having said that the FB pics are all 2 years old so I live in hope.
Just been asked on a date for next Saturday by someone I've literally just got chatting with, so might go along for the hell of it.
Also still chatting with an iron from about 4 months ago, for one reason or another we've never met up for a date, even though he has asked, but we have enjoyed lots of lengthy chats. He said he hopes H&C realises how lucky he is, and if he didn't and things didn't work out then I should meet with him, actually he jokingly said that I should say sod it and just meet him all the same even though I was seeing H&C at the time. He's cute, tall and seems like lots of fun, and it feels familiar with him after all this chatting over the months. I will probably meet him at some stage now.
Couple of other irons I'm chatting with too, I just don't have enough time to meet them all, but will keep on back burner. Phew....this is exhausting!
Tyger welcome to OLD the land of goodtimes and headfucks. Its a good sign that he wants to see you again, so don't stress too much.

Minop

"the other night the taxi drive asked for my number. I told him I was seeing someone so no thank you. I mentioned it to the hunk and was quizzed about if I was flirting and what happened. Saw real jealousy, it made me uneasy. Trying not to let the fact I want to rip his clothes off cloud my judgement! I'm going to have a chat with him next time I see him about it and I can see his reaction as it was on the phone."

This is worrying. His first reaction is to blame you? This is the kind of stuff abusive men do. Really keep your eyes open for evidence of this and of jealousy/possessiveness and be a bit cautious won't you?