not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Thanks Time I'll leave if for now then! This is a minefield, I last dated in 2000 😂

Hi bluelovesred you will find lots of them are not even close to you - I checked them out by checking their usernames from the emails you get on a general search on pof and most of them I wouldnt have bothered to upgrade for them lol. I think a lot of people just click accept without checking where you live.

You will no doubt get plenty of messages anyway so I wouldnt bother to upgrade if I were you.

Thanks Petal makes sense, I only have 12 messages so assume they're the ones who actually read my profile!

Blue I'm on POF and have over 1000 of them in 5 days! Think they're from the part that's like tinder where you swipe left or right so they don't read your profile it's just off the picture, I just ignore them.

My date today didn't happen! He asked yesterday if I'd be free for coffee, I said yes this afternoon, we exchanged numbers and have been texting but no mention of coffee.

I cancelled the one tomorrow night I just wasn't looking forward to it at all and don't want to waste my only child free night.

Think I'm going to take it slow, only go on dates with ones who I seem to connect with, I'm proper pissed off with my ex texting today, I'm sure it's him being in contact that's making me fussier!

I'm looking forward to my coffee date with MrQuiet tomorrow, just hoping he's not really quiet.

Have fun tonight wavey, prizey and anyone else I've missed.

I emailed MrPosh to see if he wanted to come to a food fair with me next weekend. Not heard anything back from him. He's gone really quiet since Thursday, wonder if he's gone off me already?

Oh well I start my new job next week so will have lots to keep me occupied!

Thanks No trying to learn quickly! Have a date tonight though 😧 terrified!!!

Could I get some advice?

I have been messaging with an iron since Monday night (just through POF). He sounds really nice, and we have been consistently messaging couple of times every day. Now there still hasn't been any mention about meeting up.. As I messaged him first I was hoping that he would suggest to meet up but now am thinking that as much as I like chatting to him over messages I don't want to keep doing it for ages (or have a just a pen pal!) as
how do I even know I will fancy him when I meet him??

From the photos I am not 100% sure but as someone here said you can't always tell from photos. So I would definitely like to meet him. (He also confessed to me that he is 2 years older than his profile says so now I am worried whether his photos are very up to date but I guess you never know really until you meet them?)

Should I just bite the bullet and suggest it myself? And would you say that speaking on
the phone before meeting would be a good idea?

Good luck everyone who have dates tonight!

Clawdeen I will echo what others have said, sounds like red flags to me and if he is making you feel uncomfortable then maybe would be better to cancel?

Blue - bloody hell thats quick work - I think there is a few of us out tonight. You will be fine just the first few minutes can be a bit hairy - I have only done 3 first dates so I'm not exactly an old hand at this tho.

Time - I would suggest something so that it doesnt drag on too long as you dont want to meet rather than just chatting forever

Sorry - do want to meet!

I know Petal but turns out he lives next to my old childhood home so feel ok with it, I live nearly 70 miles away now though so small world!

Prosecco Ask him to send a selfie right now or facetime?
Blue Don't be terrified, just look at it like a job interview, you are checking them out just as much as they are checking you!

Hello everybody! A little help please!

I have (half heartedly) joined a OLD site, I live in France but because there was a flurry of RL men over summer I haven't put my heart into it.

Anyway, I was exchanging messages with one iron a few weeks ago, we exchanged phone numbers, and he was getting overly keen. I politely put an end to our text conversations and want on holiday to England. I'd receive a short message every couple of days expressing his disappointment and, after a week, because I was curious I sent him a message asking why he was insisting on communicating with me? He answered that he liked me (based on our honest conversations and the photos we'd exchanged) and he asked if we could meet up and talk. I agreed on the condition that he calmed things down a bit as we hardly knew each other.

We arranged to see each other a week and a half later and when I returned home to France he started texting me. He asked if I was still on for meeting up and expressed how happy he was about this.

We've sent a few messages every couple of days. I was quietly pleased that he'd respected my wishes, had been enthusiastic and respectful.

We were supposed to see each other this evening for a drink. I have heard nothing from him all day. I have been having trouble with my phone. Friends have sent messages which I do not receive and some of mine never reach destination. Today two friends sent me messages which I haven't got.

I sent him a message at 3.30 asking him what he wanted to do about this evening. An hour later, fed up with waiting around and not knowing I sent him a second sms saying 'have a good evening. Good-bye'. I know that might seem a little childish but I am so fed up, generally, with being patient, kind, polite and having few expectations of others.

How would you have handled things? Any advice for a possible future time will be gratefully received.

ps Have just received a message from him saying he was at the swimming pool....

Prosecco I'd def try to meet. Texting and not meeting is not a good sign IME. Or at least a chat on the phone!

Thisis oops! What are you going to do now?

Well MrPosh replied. Said he's arranged to visit his parents next weekend as he is working in a different town on Fri, and it would give him a head start on the journey. Fair enough but this town is quite close to me so he could have suggested seeing me either the night before or after. Seems like he has definitely lost interest. Feel a bit sad as he was so lovely to me last weekend.

What a bloody waste of time!

Thanks Petal I suggested speaking on the phone and meeting up so let's see what he says. At least I know that he just wants to be a penpal if he doesn't want to meet up!

Outnumbrd If he agrees to speak to on the phone I could suggest FaceTime - good idea!

Thanks Destiny I agree. As nice as it is to chat on message I don't want to keep on doing it for ages but would rather meet him! Will see what he says to my suggestion!
I have had some vino in the afternoon so felt braver suggesting it!

Oh god ! Im at a party music and alcohol remind me of ex abusive H want him right now

Wow!
That's how last night went. He booked a hotel, took me out for dinner and served me the best tasting moose burgers.

We click so well out of the bedroom, conversation just flows and mind blowing in there. I keep trying to put doubt in my own head but I'm taking it one day at a time and loving how this is feeling.

He dropped me at work this morning after taking me for breakfast. He's going away with work tomorrow and I text him earlier after fretting about if he wanted to see me when he was back and he said 'of course I do. You know I do. Xxx ' so I'm stopping trying to think the worse and going to enjoy what happens.

Destiny I can understand how disappointed you must be feeling. I'm sorry.

I think I had a lucky escape with my man. We had a fairly lengthy and I must say very entertaining sms conversation. I was laughing out loud at his responses but I'm not sure he was finding them funny though.

Having behaved perfectly the last few weeks he suddenly engaged in the straightest of straight talks. When I asked him where he would like to meet for a drink he replied 'my place'. I answered that I always prefer to meet up the first time outside. He just wouldn't take no for an answer and was very clear what he wanted us to do. And then he said he was off for a run around the lake (city centre). The guy is seriously surprising. I walked away from my phone and got back to four sms suggesting I meet up, watch him running and, if I liked what I saw, we could go back to his place. He wanted to know what I was wearing, etc. Anyway when he asked me again if I wanted to meet up at the lake car park I said (I really was laughing so much) that he couldn't possibly be running in the dark and that I'd had a couple of glasses of wine by then so couldn't take the car. And then he wrote 'forget it; bye'.

Not very good at compromising, then!

Please, forgive me for asking this but is it common practice to go to a man's place if you've never seen him before? I'm never done OLD before, sorry! It just seems utterly bonkers to me...

Outnumbrd are you ok?

this there's absolutely no chance I'd go to someone's house, nor have them at mine. I had someone suggesting they picked me up from home and I politely but firmly said no to that too. A few dates in fine but not before you've even met.

I've been quite active on POF tonight and got a few new irons, and got my first first date tomorrow, he seems lovely but I'm just hoping he's more outgoing in person.

minop glad your night was good!

Hope everyone else is having a good night.

outnumbered hope you're ok, stay strong

This- no it's not usual. He is a dick and you are well rid. I always said I would drive and meet them somewhere very public eg a pub or cafe. I made this very clear too. If he is genuine then a man will respect this. I did have guys ask me if I wanted them to pick me up to which I always reply' no I don't want to get into a strangers car.' I do think some men don't gave bad intentions, they just forget that they areo ably in less danger than a woman.

My date went great. We got to the hotel and he gave me a box, inside was a bracelet he had bought me!
We are meeting up tomorrow for a couple of hours.

Time- yes you suggest a meet up with your iron. I did with Mr straight laced and he said yesterday that he was about to suggest it himself.