not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

prizey fantastic that you had a lovely phone call beforehand- better to have a sleepless night due to excitement rather than worry!

I think I will still go along tonight as babysitter booked and its ages since I've been out on a Saturday night. But I am going to be wary and tell him that it's all too fast for me.
Last night he was asking me to tell him something about myself that no one else knew, then he asked for naked photos of me! He may just very keen and getting ahead of himself but these requests would put me in a vulnerable position with someone I don't yet know or trust.

claw that would massively put me off, no way I could put up with that level of contact after one date, my experience of it all being super quick like that was it was all crap anyway, it's like some game they play.

prizey have a fab weekend, maybe try and casually mention how the ignoring messages etc makes you feel, if he's as introverted as you say he may genuinely not realise.

I've still got lots of irons, supposed to have 2 coffee dates this weekend, one is MrQuiet, seems really nice but a bit boring by text but last night he actually sent a suggestive text which was a step in the right direction!

The other is MrUnknown, know very little about him but he seems ok, may be a bit of a gym addict though. We'll see.

I'm supposed to be going on a date tomorrow night with a man who's 10 years older, we've spoken on the phone and he was ok but he's very keen, texting lots and if I don't reply following it up etc, I'm just not feeling it.

waving I wouldn't let distance alone put you off, if you can easily get a babysitter I'd probably go rather than sitting in.

No- good luck with your dates, you never know!

Claw - he sounds spookily like he's reasearched what to do , by date 6 etc? Overbearing.

Am feeling bit overwhelmed by Mr Eligible - he's sweet, v determined, quite needy (poss controlling) but imagine that he could turn other way just as quickly. Known each other matter of weeks, 5 dates and he's getting heavy. V v flattered but know it's lust talking and not sure can take inevitable hurt. Many many texts per day. Again nice but gonna crash & burn from intensity i reckon)

Claw naked photos? Just no. He sounds worse the more you tell us about him! If you do meet him, be really careful.

Ex sent me a what's app asking if I was free on Thurs. Not replied yet. Wish MrPosh wd message me. He's not replied to the text I sent yesterday. 🙁

Prize have a great date! and tell us everything

Waving Strictly starts tonight so not a bad night to stay in! 💃

Sorry not to reply about everyone else's news but I am feeling increasingly uneasy about tonight's date.

He obviously saw I was logged in to GSM and has just sent 5 messages ( in under 5 minutes) asking what the other men I'm chatting to are like, if I'm meeting up with any of them, did I want to kiss any of them etc. Then a text saying 'well see what happens, someone might turn up'. Wasn't sure what he meant by that but wondered if he was huffing about me being on GSM and possibly that he was going to cancel tonight. Anyway I didn't reply at all, given I'm trying to sort breakfast and the kids. I then get a 'only joking' text. I am truly baffled as to whether he is just odd or whether he is actively trying to mess with my head. Either way, not a great sign!

Think I might find a back up plan for tonight as I sense he's only going to get weirder as the day goes on

Claw , no nit a good sign. Realise its all about boundaries isnt ir? Easy to say but dont let him mess with your head if you can help it.

Mr Eligible more heavy texts, lovely but either worries or is bit controlling. Feel need to push back according to my boundariesbut dont want to hurt him. And like him!
Sigh..

Are heavy texts a red flag after 2 weeks of dating? Or am i overthinking? Cant help worrying a man who falls so quickly will fall out just as quickly?

Claw not good, he sounds a bit obsessive, id be a bit worried and probably cancel.

Destiny funnily enough I've just had a message of my ex, I've got my first date since him today so I just keep telling myself he's an ex for a reason, even if the sex was amazing.

sorting I think you need to introduce your boundaries now whilst it's still new otherwise it's much more difficult to do.

Claw so much drama after just one meet is v worrying. Imagine what he'd be like in an actual relationship? I'm starting to think you should cut your losses now, tell him he's being too overbearing and block all contact with him.

Sorting think that could be a red flag. The Baggage Reclaim site has got some good info on that, do you know the website?

Red flags

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-bail-out-red-flags/

Thanks. She's good! Not sure applies with Mr Eligible but def a lot i can learn from past mistakes

Claw I agree he sounds weird, controlling and paranoid! Text and say you can't make tonight then block him!
Prizey Are you on your werkend away now?
Destiny Of course he could be lying about the open bit!
Recycled your dating ethic is exactly mine! I want to get it right this time, don't want to waste months dating the wrong one! So I am dating concurrently although only made it to date 2 with about 1 so far haha
So my new irons are MrAffluentHippy who is my fav, MrNurse, MrTea, MrSingleDad and MrI'mDoingWhatAllSingleMenDo.
Not met any yet and too busy at the mo!

Oh I forgot about MrGeekItalian actually he may be my favourite!

I've put MrArmy on the back burner red flag control issues.

Out, good for you, sounds complicated though. I also feel as a 40-somethng woman- this may be my one shot so concurrent makes sense. But tough on rhe heartstrings! Am falling fir Mr Eligible- prob projection & lust. Mr Eligible as 40-sonething man has many more opportunities than me (not sure he realizes yet!)

Mr Dangerous keeps sending flirty even racy texts. Sigh. V tempting but best not go there. FWB at some point maybe, getting to know him too well!

Out withMr Attractive&Tall tonight. Doesn't (yet) rock my boat and feel sneaky seeing him around Mr Eligible but have to look after no.1.

Waving, how long's it been?

And belated thanks to Recycled for his (?) response re exclusivity. Makes sense tho ime who's ever 100% sure? 90% maybe.

Not so long then. But only you can judge...think almost best not to be too enthusiastic about OLD

Waving I go on and off dating. Some weeks intensively date and some weeks nothing.

Claw that sounds worryingly like the guy I saw a couple of times and I wouldnt care so much but I had already told him my ex husband had been full on and then turned possessive and controlling and he said he wasnt like that - after two dates he was texting me that he saw a future for us and if I loved him I would come off POF! Was very scarey - also scarey how many men are full on without even goin on a date - does it ever work for them I wonder? I suppose it must or they wouldnt keep doing it! Have you decided what you are going to do about tonight?

I am looking forward to my date tonight - he has been consistently texting since last week but nice texts nothing too full on or over the top - fingers crossed he seems nice and normal.

Hi everyone, newbie here although been lurking and getting tips! Qq I joined POF about 4 hours ago and have 143 want to meets or whatever they are? I can't see who they are unless I upgrade? Is this some kind of scam to get money out of me? Seems like an excessive amount of people interested so doesn't seem legit to me.....

Hi Bluelovesred I've been on
POF about a week now and haven't upgraded either. I do get lots of meet me requests but just ignore them. I think a lot of people don't use it (haven't upgraded) as I have seen few people mention it on their profile.

I think I would prefer if they look at my profile anyway so they can see that I would like a relationship instead of just dating etc.