not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Waving doesn't that just confirm to you that the man's a twat and you're well rid? Don't have any contact with him or follow what he's up to as it will just mess with your head!

Nobloody talking on the phone for 2 hours is fantastic! If you did get on really well I might meet him. Weight can be lost but you can't manufacture a good rapport. Depends how much choice there is out there for you. If you're young there's probably lots but I'm a bit older and so I'm more willing to go for men I probably wouldn't have years ago.

I'm 33, I seem to be getting lots and lots of interest but I think I'm automatically going for the safer options i.e not as good looking etc as I'm conscious I've got 3 kids and thats not for everyone.

He did say he'd lost 3st but is still 5st overweight, in his Tinder pictures he looks muscly rather than big but he whatsapped one yesterday and that was different!

I've not used Bumble waving so can't help, but sounds like you had a lucky escape

WavingNotDrowning Unless you are good friends with either your ex or his new girlfriend I would suggest that it is not worth your time thinking about it.

Waving What a shame about GSM! I won't bother with it then.
No bloody more Overweight would put me off, I don't think it's shallow, it's the health implication too!
I've deleted Mr 3Orgasms, he was just looking for lady's to massage give orgasms to for money and not for a relationship.
I'm not excited about any of my irons at the moment

Recycled Parent how is your dating going?

Outnumbrd Dating with MissAwsome is still going amazingly thanks! I told the ex (my Daughters Mother) about her the other week and she seemed to take it well (at least to my face).

WavingNotDrowning Despite what you Londoners think, London is not a country

WavingNotDrowning If I were you I would work backwards on the problem of the country question. Figure out what attributes you want to display and then find a country that you can make those attributes fit to.
What are the attributes that you are wanting to display?

waving definitely a hot one. I'd go with India hot with a penchant for all things spicy, refined in places and dirty in others (OK scrap the dirty bit, that's a bit risqué but I still like it)
So H&C (hot and cool) is hot and cold atm, he is sizzling and affectionate when we are together and we meet as much as my schedule will allow (which is frustrating for him and me) but we text everyday, briefly, kind of just checking in, the occasional banter text convo, couple of flirty sessions. But generally he is shit at communication in between dates (I always instigate, doesn't call, he's also very introverted and closed, but opens up to me when we are together, he said I make him feel incredibly relaxed) or maybe he's not shit at all and I'm just being stupid...am I being stupid? is this a good level of communication? Can you tell Im at that insecure stage of 'is he dating others, is this just for lols, does he want me long term?Should I be dating others, but would he be annoyed with me if I did?' Aaaaagh!! Someone slap me....seeing him Saturday & Sunday and I know it will be rosy and perfect then I just hate this in between bit. Recycled it would be good to get a blokes opinion on this. I know I'm being daft btw.

PrizeyPrize
I would suggest that if H&C has always been the same way with the in-between dates communication there is little to worry about. I know that I can get wrapped up in what is in front of me at the time (work, kids etc.) and not worry about having to maintain other things in the near future (Dates, catch-ups, events etc.) that are already planned unless there are issues. So what I am trying to say is that he could be feeling relaxed enough that he does not have to fill in the in-between dates time with inane stuff. Having said that I am not sure that feeling too relaxed in a relationship too soon is a good thing either (how many dates have you been on?).
He could also be adverse to talking on the phone, I did a few years working in a call centre when I was in my 20s and have not really been keen on spending too long speaking on the phone since (I avoid it when possible).
If you are that worried though you could just ask, as he has said that he is really relaxed around you then asking the question. You can both discuss how you thing the in-between time should be used as far as interaction is concerned. If it turns out that he is just spinning lines then this will come out here and you are in a better situation because you know and stop yourself from investing further.

Thanks Recycled, I appreciate that. Yeah it's stayed the same through out so I think that's just his style. Like I say he's introverted and admits he's not very chatty and very private. The relaxed thing was said in the context of how he is always stressed and suffers with anxiety and yet he said 'I relax when I'm with you', which made me melt (easily pleased, me). Not relaxed in the relationship, we both know we are getting to know one another right now and have not talked about the future or where this is heading. It's only been 4 dates (but all of them have been 2 day dates ) and the close connection between us since we first met is ridiculous.
I get the phone thing, we have called a couple of times and it's not the same as in person, he mumbles and is softly spoken for a start so I'm constantly asking him to repeat himself
I may bring it up when I see him, but then again might wait a few weeks more to see how it pans out.

Oh my.... a week out and I am about 250 messages behind!

To those ( What and someone else- sorry i forget! ). who asked about my Iron I slept with the other weekend, I have known him along time (through mutual friends). He facebook messaged later the same day to say thanks for a great night, we made some very jokey conversation through, and then I said 'if you ever want to drop me a text, then here is my number'. I left the door wide open for him! And he just replied with thanks and see you soon.

Funnily enough I heard from him the other day but didn't know who it was... 2.5 weeks later... general chat because we will bump into each other at a mutual friends party shortly. And then as quickly as he started conversation, he cut me off with a 'I will see you at the weekend'.

I don't think there is any confusion on his part, but certainly on my part now! Where do I go from here?

I promise to catch up with the rest of the thread and offer my 'eeeekkksss' for the successful dates, and condolences for the shitty ones. Just give me the evening.... :D

minop I'm so excited for you! The Hunk sounds amazing. Give us all the juicy details after your date

Thank god for big hunky men I say.

What are your thoughts on when you are really into someone, and it's early days (4 dates) but there is definitely something special there....but you haven't had the exclusive chat, is it fair game to date others? I'd hate him to do that to me, but I'm kind of tempted by an old iron from yonks ago (I left the site because of the security issue I had old folks may remember) and I've re matched with him and he's very tempting and funny and sweet (I've told him I'm seeing someone and he says if things don't work out he wants to be first in the queue)......it's not right is it??

Prizey Which one is best for you in the long run? It's only been 4 dates you are free to date someone else, but if he is really special what's the attraction to the old iron?

I'm just dipping my toe in here as I posted my own thread at the start of the week and someone suggested I join in here :)

I had posted a thread as I was unsure if a man I had a few dates with was going cold or I was being needy. I've stepped back from him and have barely heard from him. Its not just the lack of messages but the disappearing and not having another date arranged that has me confused. He claims to be busy but he is always posting on Facebook.

Then there was Man 2 who contacted me via Facebook but he turned sleazy.

I've been on and off pof for a year now and I'm just feeling disheartened by it all. I'm 35 and it seems that if a man is still single in his 30's, he's single for a very good reason :( I just don't get how I can have a few dates with someone and seem to get on well, for them to just lose interest. We have a lot in common and both have a similar sense of humour. I don't know what men are looking for.

Any hope or advice would be gratefully received :)

Thanks outnumbrd. Special guy who I could easily fall in love with (totally holding myself back and guard up) is aloof and closed when we are apart (but I think that is just his personality), when we are together he is as warm and loving as toasted marshmallows, but doesn't tell me how he feels (introverted), and is hard to tell why his intentions are, but then again why would he after 4 dates? He's probably just as guarded as me (also introverted). Old iron makes me laugh and if I'm honest is a good distraction from investing too much into the guy who could break my heart.

'What' his intentions are....sorry I'm dealing with this conundrum with

MrsGallagher Disheartening isn't it! Yes I sometimes think the ones left are single for a good reason!! Prizey date both! You will soon get a feel as to which one you feel better with.

out really?? I've never done that before and I'd feel so guilty, like I was cheating. I don't know what to do,

Long time lurker, first time poster here!

I've had the same experience as others regarding GSM. Despite being (I think) a reasonably attractive 40 something, I was mainly messaged by 60 year olds

I've met a few guys off other sites, mostly nice but nobody I feel much of a connection with. Am starting to feel cynical about the whole thing, which is not like me! I'm not giving up, but I can feel the initial optimism fading away...thought I'd join in with you lovely ladies for some moral support