not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

This is what I mean though why do people assume that men are playing games? Surely it's easier to assume that if someone isn't texting you back within a decent timeframe then they're probably just not that into you? Obviously there's exceptions but I think in general people read into things too much. If someone likes you enough they will make time for you.

That's what I think Kiki Mr Doctor who was my favourite, has only sent 2 polite messages since our only date, and they were both replies to a message I sent. So I take it he's not that much into me. Waving why was your date weird? Tell us more!
I've got an iron-
yourlondonpersonalmasseur.webnode.it
What do you reckon?

Has that guy contacted you for a date or to offer his special services? Firstly his website needs a bloody good proof read as his English isn't good! Well if he's as good with his hands as he says he is you're onto a winner!

3 orgasms in 90 minutes...

Or your money back lol! 😀

outnumbered! Hahahahaha! Wow. Big city living hey!

Kiki yep I'm with you there. If they don't text back much etc they're not that bothered- it's pretty straightforward I suppose just disappointing if you really liked them!

My date with mrwoodsmanhas been fastforwarded to tomorrow night as I have unexpected child free time and he said well fine how about Weds and then if all is good and I fancy him in person we can do Thurs too He really is lovely and v keen. Not used to it and its blowing my brains up a bit, we've talked masses on the phone so tomorrow feels like a formality really as I know I already like him. Just hope that I'm what he is looking for when we get together. Nasty old self doubt and wariness about his intentions setting in. But I'm trying hard not to over invest! And my people powers are pretty good, plus the fact I havent turned into a needy emotional wreck is a good sign too

Advice please...

Started convo with someone on ok cupid. I've been eyeing him up for a while. I finally agreed to submitting a profile pic to him. His response was 'Thanks for the photo. Let's talk tomorrow. Night' . Ok so it was 1230am... I happen to be having bad insomnia tonight hence I'm poss overthinking this. Does this mean he's not interested in me? We've connected really well generally. But no 'nice picture' no heart on sleeve stuff. I've also not said he's hot and have said I'm looking for banter and friendship as well as whatever else so playimg it cool.

How the feck does this work?!!

barn of course he likes you. It was too late to chat. He said he'd speak with you the next day. If he wasn't interested then he'd not have responded. Looks like you have an iron! Good luck!

Iron????!!!
I'm an OLD virgin as you can tell.

Haha..barn it's a term only used on this thread, don't worry. Basically we like to have irons on the fire, not concentrate on one match only, so if we go on a date and it ends up being crap, we have another iron on the fire who we've been speaking to and maybe even a date lined up with.

Was just thinking about game playing and saying how you feel. A few years ago I met a guy on a course. We got on really well and went out on a date. I told him I liked him and would consider having a relationship with him and he accused me of ruining the mystery!

However he did turn out to be a bit of a twat, pressured me to go home with him that night but I said no it's too soon. Then on the phone a few days later said he wasn't interested in me. So maybe I dodged a bullet there...

petal68 The trouble with bringing it up subtly is that people are polite. If an iron said to me that they are trying to lose weight I would always respond with a "you don't need to". That is partly because it's the natural response and partly because I am already attracted to them the way they are so they shouldn't feel the need to change if they don't want to. That is not to say that if they lost weight I would have any issue with it either.
So if you are going to ask about it do not be subtle as you could misread his response. If you feel the need to clarify then ask directly, tell him you have lost 3 stone and that it has made you very happy and that you are on your way to losing a couple of stone more and see if he has an issue with that.
Also well done on your amazing weight loss!

Destinysdaughter That's exactly what I'm talking about, you decided to not play games and it looked like it blew up as a result. What actually happened though is you discovered earlier that he was a dick, if you had played games you would have not found out for a lot longer and probably been over invested.

Recycled yes, thanks for that, you're right! I wish there was a test you could use to ascertain who was a dick and who was genuine! Any suggestions from the male point of view?

Destinysdaughter I have never played it from a "just in it to get sex" point of view and I don't have any friends that have done that either I have no insight to give as I can't get into that mindset I'm afraid.

WavingNotDrowning What have you got to lose? Ask yourself: Is someone that is put off by a strong and independent woman messaging first someone you want to try and have a relationship with?

I'd def message someone I liked! You've got nothing to lose. I'm interested to see if Elite singles is any diff from normal sites but never been on it. Maybe just a more highly educated playa..?

< cynical > 😎

Hi everyone,
I have a date with Mr straightlaced tonight, I will have to think of another name as he is not so straight laced.
Turns out we share the same political vies( not that that is a deal breaker) and he is a feminist too x

Petal I agree with emily drop it in conversation and watch his reaction. Raised eyebrows and / or smiling would be good. If he look distant or you can't tell (and he doesn't say anything) you could ask him general questions about healthy eating and keep stopping to see what he says.

Destiny I'd suggest coffee and cake 'sometime soon'. If he then says 'yes, how about...day' you know he's keen?

Wave I'd look about, but keep the holiday man in mind. When he's back you'll know more. Good you ran from nightmare date!

I'm now having second thoughts on Mr Walker. Last time we met I rearranged childcare to see him, but he didn't say anything about appreciating it, was distant, and made several sarcastic jokes that I didn't like (some aimed at me). It was very confusing as he was positive and direct before.

I think prizes elastic band effect may be happening. I'd been very positive and think he needed time to think. Funnily enough now I've stepped back he's sending more texts again. He's now, however, made me reconsider the relationship and I'm wondering if he's right for me

I'm in two minds whether to cancel next date if he's working eve before as he seems very different when tired.

I send messages first I thought everyone did, why wouldn't you?

Prizey Glad to hear everything's still rosy in your garden

Oh Waving that's such a shame! Poor man! Sounds very nervious. It's so disappointing when they look nothing like thier picture. I'm wondering how you can ensure that your picture looks like you though. I have one of those faces that seems to look different in each shot and with different cameras. Sometimes my face looks long and thin, othertimes it looks round and fat. Bizzare. Sounds like you've got loads of irons on the go - good for you! Good luck with MrActor.

Good luck with Mr StraightLaced Emily

Thanks for the reassurance. I guess they're notgping to say oh you are just my type or whatever. Its considered kinda cheesy to comment or compliment on looks at first?
I've always messaged first. (In my limited experience, the one guy I have thought was a gd match). And the message has usually been something witty. I am not impressed when i e serial killer lookaliles/pervos messagimg me with hi how areyou? SHITE! I

Waving you are busy.
Right im getting this irons concept. But theres a definite attraction with this guy. Poss out of my reach given the dearth of men and glut of women.

Waving I am a total newbie as only just signed up to POF last week but I have surprised even myself and sent messages to three guys so far! Ok two didn't come back but one did (admittedly I am finding it hard to think what to write but am hoping that practice makes perfect? )

Otherwise I am just getting really boring 'hello' messages from men I am not really interested in so I am thinking if I see someone I like I will have to bite the bullet and message them!

Now this guy who replied to me.. I was more impressed by his profile than maybe his picture.. We have now been messaging for few days and he sounds really nice but I am
worried that I might not fancy him if I meet him? Is it still worth taking a chance? I am trying to think that maybe I should try to meet him soon and see how it goes?

Can I also ask a practical questions re POF: can I not use the advanced search if I am
not an upgraded user?