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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what has your dp/dh asked you to do sexually that you have disliked or refused to do?

451 replies

juicychops · 30/01/2007 14:13

Just curious......

my dp want me to agree toa threesome with another woman

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:01

Don't call me baby, I'll be all of a dither.

High maintenance? Sounds like I'm onto a winner. I'll get me coat.

flufffluff · 31/01/2007 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:01

I doubt it overhangs that much. Just put 20p in the slot and enjoy the ride.

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 17:06

aw flufff dont worry about that, just get on with it and have fun, i doubt dh would hardly even notice

distract him with something...

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:08

DW keeps moaning about her "bellies". I keep trying to reassure her that she's the sexiest woman alive but she just says "you have to say that". I've resorted to dirty tricks... a kiss on the back of her neck and she melts.

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 17:09

awww HD, she has means to an end

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:11

She's a woman so will never be completely happy with herself, she admits that. She knows that I'm VERY happy with her, too, though.

Sweetheart. Thought i'd keep that going for a bit longer.

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 17:17

gawd i wish dh would hurry up and get home from work, this thread is too much for me...

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:17

I'm leaving in a minute, sweetheart. LOL

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 17:19

LOL

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:21

Women always laugh.

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 17:22

laughing si sexy

(oh hurry up dh, the beef olives are burning)

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:23

Laughter is sexy, laughing at blokes is somehow deflating.

I dont need to know about your beef olives.

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 17:28

i was NOT laughing at you

i was actually blushing, if you must know

HappyDaddy · 31/01/2007 17:29

I wasn't having a go.

Blushing? I'm quite proud of myself now.

Time to go home now. I'll catch up with this / you later, sweetheart.

Rhubarb · 01/02/2007 13:33

Love is in the air.......................

forestfern · 02/02/2007 00:28

Happy Daddy having a harmless flirt? We could do with more male input actually. He has quite a hard time of it. He does try to be a gentleman! Not easy on a thread like this!

Are we not just talking about sensation-seeking with a lot of this? Boredom? People who cannot get high on the finer things in life?

Surely there can be nothing better than full-blooded passionate sensual love-making/sex?

Wherever you draw the line on the two, surely when we allow the aesthetics of life to nurture the sexuality in a healthy way we can quickly see where the truth lies.

Males stuck with the Madonna-Whore or the titillation of secret fruits ? ? Immaturity? ? Lack of information/maladaptive experiences ? their problem.

It?s all hardly Bambi is it?

Sadly, however much we love somebody they can only be themselves sexually. The older people get ? the harder to change this. Sexual compatibility ? like other areas of compatibility ? is just one area that can break down a relationship. It takes a long time to know somebody fully. Not sure how long. Maybe quicker with some honest folk. Maybe ?Love at first sight? is about perceiving many things about a person.

A lot of people here have talked about things that they have done ? within relationships that they have left. These things can be deciders. Sometimes I think that women feel that they may have to compromise too much ? as if deciding whether to cook Chicken Tikka Masala for tea ? because he likes it and you are not that keen. Sexual inclinations run much deeper than that. They are a form of character expression. You should only express what is in your own character, or you will feel terribly lost and afraid.

UnquietDad · 02/02/2007 09:26

That's an interesting one forestfern. We make compromises all the time, but sexual exprssion seems to be one area where it is not accepted that we can. It's not seen in the same way as, "well, I had a weekend away so you're owed one." i.e. - "well, I did that for you so you do this for me."

You rarely hear us men complaining that their DW/DP asked them to do something in bed which they found too way-out or dirty... do you? In fact I bet a VERY small percentage of men ever actively refuse their wives anything in bed. Because it's nice to be asked, essentially - it shows she is "in the zone" that she is even thinking like that.

Caligula · 02/02/2007 10:29

Ah but now you're getting to the heart of something societal aren't you HD. Because of the way sex is used and has been throughout history as a means of subjugating women, it's different for a man to ask a woman to do something for him in bed than for a woman to ask a man to do something. You're right, it's almost unheard of for a man to refuse to do something for a woman (though you'd be surprised by how reluctant some men are to engage in cunnilingus) whereas women refusing men various stuff or using it as a bargaining tool is a well-known phenomenon.

Is that to do with sex itself, or with how society uses sex as a weapon against women?

Caligula · 02/02/2007 10:29

Sorry I mean UD, not HD

Bugsy2 · 02/02/2007 10:50

forestfern, I disagree about the older we are the harder it gets to change sexually.

I find the older I am (I'm 37) the less inhibited I feel & the more experimental I am prepared to be. I have higher self-esteem & self worth than I did when I was younger & appreciate my body far more & therefore have far fewer qualms about trying interesting new sexual things.

I am willing I am not alone in this. Kind of Shirley Valeninte scenario.

lazyanna · 02/02/2007 11:15

I think we live in better times now though, in that as a woman i no longer have to do anything I don't want to do, which probably wasn't true of our Grand-Parents generation, and maybe even our Parents.

Caligula · 02/02/2007 11:22

Hmm, not sure about that LA. I remember some old bloke saying to me years ago "there's no way I would have insulted my wife by asking her to perform fellatio. That's what prostitutes were for."

lazyanna · 02/02/2007 11:26

ew

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 02/02/2007 13:45

"I think we live in better times now though, in that as a woman i no longer have to do anything I don't want to do"

Hence the name LazyAnna??

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