Opening up for happiness

[hareinthemoon]

We are continuing on with our 30 days (or more) NC with the past (see previous thread here ) and we are looking into the future with hope and positivity.

A little bit of trepidation is allowed also. Contact with exes is discouraged, but support is the constant.

Oh Apple, don't worry, I'm sat in my car crying too. I know I'll be okay and so will you.
This afternoon would have been lovely if my son hasn't thrown a strop, my sister had a go at me about our elderly parents and estranged husband sent a text reminding me it's our 'pseudo anniversary!. We've been separated two years and he's had a 10 month relationship with someone else as well in between. I realise how I ended up married to him now as he never gives up and keeps on and on at me until I give in to see him. My son's dad never helps out now so I'm 100% parent.
I realised today that no one else really thinks of how I feel because I never make a fuss or complain.

Huge birthday rant over.
Today has made me realise I really need to think about me as no one else will until I do.

Hope all goes well Waving with your date. I'd hope it's enjoyable.

I'm not giving up, just got to get life right.

Sorry you're not feeling great Jenny, and yes you need to think about yourself. My day has been largely ok, H is texting eldest asking her to help him get me back. I wish he'd leave her out of it. He is so manipulative, he really is. I think he's been meeting OW yesterday and today as he's only text DDs early am and late pm which means he was preoccupied. Every other day he's been texting DD constantly. I wish I had a crystal ball

Good luck on your date waving

Well I have glass of wine in hand. It's been a tough day. Will be thinking about you waving..will be back later.
Strength to you Jenny x

Yes, it is hard on long weekends.
I must read that book next. I've downloaded it. I just said to ds that I wish people remember I do have feelings. BIL said he thought my dad does think I've brought shame on my family with two failed marriages. I felt like curling up in a ball.
I know people treat me as though I don't matter as that's how I treat myself (and some close friends can't believe how little I've thought of myself).
Apple, today, I'm asking myself why me too.
Tomorrow is a better day.

I think today was an eye opener for me since I've become much more aware of how badly I let people treat me. Someone said they hoped I got spoiled on my birthday. I wanted to tell them that's never happened and it wasn't going to happen today.
I've decided I'm going to wake up as Princess Jenny and everyone including me can start treating me like that.
I think you should all become one too.

Well done for arranging a date Waving. Can't motivate myself to do the same (yet). Very brave.

Glad your date went well waving. Do you think anything will come of it?
I had wine and sent him a message, just 'thinking about you' .. I really don't know how I feel now, I think I regret it. I most likely won't get a response.
Think I've hit the depression stage.
PF- look at you! You look amazing! Glad you've had a fun day.

Glad you had a good date Waving.
Fab look FB. Apple, you'll come back up.
Today is a better day.

I've installed the Tinder App out of curiosity. I'm proceeding with extreme caution!
Princess Jenny it is today. Join me on my Princess journey!

Sorry, PF I meant to say looked good. At least I had one letter right.

Waving, I think you're right to have a think.
I'm a bit depressed post birthday being so tough. Having a really tough time with ds. At the hospital with my Alzheimers mum today. I know this will all pass and life will go up again.
In the spirit of 'outing' ourselves, I'm in the finals of a modelling comp tomorrow. All the the other girls are sounding organised and ready. I haven't even cleaned my dress!
My heads very scrambled about my life today. I think it's on another spin cycle.

Back to work for me too and although I can't be bothered, it's the best thing. I'm feeling quite positive at mo.

PF you look gorge

Waving glad the date went ok and at least you can take control and decide whether to see anyone again.

Apple just move on from the text, don't expect a response, don't even hope you get one as your mind will be all over the place.

Jenny good luck with modelling contest, you should be proud of yourself. My single friend has tinder and she doesn't use it for dating per se more for just chatting to different people. It boosts her confidence I think so go for it. No harm to chat, you don't have to meet up with anyone at all but some attention will take your mind off your ex and give you a boost, as should bring in a modelling competition.

Catch you all later X

Waving- don't text him... Your date has probably triggered these feelings?
I haven't had a response and I'm not too bothered. It only said 'thinking about you' the same as he sent me the week before..
I need to be realistic. I dreaming him up to be the perfect person but he isn't. I have evidence of that.. Love is blind?

Thanks Lippy, I know I'm incredibly lucky. My inside doesn't quite match my outside at the moment though. It's sinking in today just how much of an emotional punchbag/dumping ground I've been for folk in my life. I think it's time my dump closed.
Waving, at least you got out there. Someone will come along for us all. I'm not really looking, just want to show myself there are other men out there. I think I really need to concentrate on my son now.
Maybe you're right depression is a phase we'll go through.

Waving, here here to don't text him. Don't give him any of your precious time or any part of lovely you anymore. He doesn't deserve you or a message from you.

Definitely don't text him waving xx

Sorry I haven't addressed each of you. I've really taken a low turn. I know I'll be ok though. I'm strong. I have to use this experience to move me forward. I'm not going to concentrate on finding a partner. I'm going to concentrate on me and ds and building a career.
Jenny I'm the same, feel used and have been there for others only to be dumped. Just think how strong we'd be if we met in a room together!!
I regret texting but at least it was nothing bad. He's the other side of the country anyway..
Jenny you must be gorgeous and from your posts it's apparent you're beautiful on the inside too.
I need to be more assertive. Once ds back at school I'm going to organise some counselling.
I'm definitely getting depressive symptoms and it's truly awful. The utter pain? Does anyone understand that?