Update re DP telling me on holiday about his affair

[Notgoingtobeamug]

So I posted a month ago. Basically DP told me 2 days into our holiday he had been having an affair for 7 months. I was stuck on holiday with 2 year old DS and couldn't get away.

6 weeks later and things are worse. Much worse. After promising it was over I've found out he is still seeing the 25 year old (he is 38). I was still working through my feelings trying to decide what to do.

He has racked up 19 dart charge penalties (over £2000 worth) that are in my name because the car is mine. Each time he was going to see OW.

He went to stay with his nan, she has now thrown him out because of his behaviour so now apparently he has no option but to go stay with OW.

He tells me he will be taking DS to OW house when he has him to sleep.

We own a house with about £100k equity in it. He wants half despite having only paid half of our joint outgoings for about 6 months in the 9 years we have owned the house. He doesn't pay mortgage, food, nursery bills, council tax or ANYTHING.

He has used about £25k of our savings to pay off his company debt. He literally lies on the sofa watching tv as his business is rubbish. He stays out all night drinking several nights a week. DS is in full time childcare (nursery and family) so he isn't even doing that.

I feel sick about the situation I'm in, I feel absolutely humiliated.

MrsC

My advice to anybody having children is to marry, even if its' inconvenient.

Whilst I fully agree with you, getting some men to the alter is impossible.

This is true Sandy....however, in that case I wouldn't have a child. Mind you, hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?

I agree about rehousing the dog. Could you put an appeal out on Facebook so that he goes to someone you know? £400 per month (presumably more when food and vets is added) is crazy money. That's like the whole of my morgage payment nearly! Could you afford a huge vets bill because I doubt you'd get a penny from him if you needed it.

Don't put the dog on Facebook, if you do rehome please rehome responsibly via a rescue centre. There are a lot of dodgy people out there.

I understand that the dog is important for your son and that while you have lots to think about, a dog sitter is the easiest way forward. Perhaps when other things are more settled there might be another way to manage this? Friends / family? I think there is a site called borrow my dog or something - for people who really want a dog but can't have one, they take other people's for walks.

Include the £400 cost in money you have paid out for him, it's his responsibility - you might not get it but you can use it as a bargaining tool.

Can't you get an earlier appt than the 16th? Or at least seek interim advice about the contact. Perhaps a contact centre would be a better place for now until everything is sorted out?

Well done so far! You're on the right tracks - keep going and wishing you and your DS the best of luck and justice.

Well done for yesterday! Very positive steps.

Olivia - I didn't mean a Facebook selling site. I meant Facebook friends and family.

I'd still be cautious absolute- you may get a friend of a friend offering and you can't know what would happen.

I speak from experience (not mine directly). There are some awful people out there. Rescue is best.

Sorry op for the side track in conversation.