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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dry 14

999 replies

glad2016 · 21/07/2016 13:50

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

OP posts:
tattoosandteadresses · 06/09/2016 14:02

What a nice compliment gotta, your sparkling new outside must be reflecting your sparkly new inside Smile

I struggle with deep, emotional talks too Strong, I'm very much so a bottle uper. Don't feel shit and guilty about not being there, I'm sure a friend will understand and if it was any friend of mine I would be giving off they hadn't contacted me for me to support them more than anything. Some of my best friends I don't get to see very often, between work, kids, relationships and families etc, it's hard to find time but we all understand that. Do not drink, you don't need it. Plan now what you're going to order and have a nice treat for when you come back home, then tell us so we can all cheer you Grin

Have a lovely evening yourself finnish, meant to add that at the end of my post but obviously didn't.

buddhasbelly · 06/09/2016 14:55

hi checking in. and wondering what to do work wise. i'm part time but cant stop crying. should i call employer today and explain situation? am sober and just struggling a lot with what he's done.

tattoosandteadresses · 06/09/2016 15:08

I would ring in sick budda, you'll not be much use in the frame of mind you are in anyway. I mean that in the nicest possible way. Any decent employer would understand if you tell them you are very upset because of a relationship break up. I say that from being a manager myself in the past and was once signed off with stress by the gp when my own ended. How are you physically today?

vxa2 · 06/09/2016 16:07

I would take sick leave buddha. You need to put yourself first now more than ever. The relationship breakdown is hard enough in itself. You are doing so well staying sober.

If you think there will be a problem with work you could see your GP and ask to be signed off but in any event I think you should probably speak to work - no need to go into details though.

I used to slog on at work whatever but it really wasn't worth it - I wasn't at all productive and it was humiliating crying at work. You need a breather to gather yourself, rest and eat as well as you can. A couple of weeks would give you time to catch your breath.

Flowers
BecomingSober · 06/09/2016 16:37

Oh, Buddha take the leave and look after yourself, there's no point trying to drag yourself to work, you'd be no good. Hole up at home and heal up.

Tea I know what you mean, alcohol is a great looser of lips. We have to keep going and learning new skills, I have such newfound admiration for sober people I've met in social situations now. They (we?) are so brave!

Patchworkchicken · 06/09/2016 17:00

Extra hugs to everyone, look after yourselves. FlowersFlowersFlowers

TapasGirl · 06/09/2016 17:34

Evening all - Buddah yes, take the leave and take care of yourself and take little steps to a better life - tomorrow is a better day:)

I am on Day 6 and have been in tears today am not usually emotional but feeling frustrated and upset about something at work which usually I would manage ok - do you think it's due to being AF and emotions coming to the surface? I haven't cried in years. My dad died last year and although we weren't close during his later years I couldn't even cry and now I'm sobbing about being all the frustrations in life. Will this pass or am I going to end up an emotional wreck being AF.
Hope you all ok today x

gottaloveascamhun · 06/09/2016 17:47

Tapas I was quite emotional in my first AF week. 2nd week was more even so keep going, your moods should stabilise. It's hard when you realise you have to cope with ups and downs without numbing everything. Take care.

TapasGirl · 06/09/2016 19:13

Thanks gotta it is hard but I will KOKO.

onewhitepillowleft · 06/09/2016 19:56

tapas I was emotional too. For me, a lot of shame I didn't usually allow myself to feel was bubbling up. It wasn't useful, but I think going through it is better than avoiding it. Are there comforting things you can do for yourself?

finnish so glad you're here, still sober, and hanging in there. You are an inspiration.

buddha just to second what everyone else has said. You aren't responsible for your partner's choices around drugs, and he isn't responsible for yours around drink. You sound well shot of him. I know it doesn't feel like that now, and I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but your physical and mental health, your happiness and your sobriety are more important. Your child is more important. You can do this. It's probably going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. If you need to lean on your mother and friends, take time off work and totally baby yourself for a couple of weeks, then do that. It was wrong of him to put an easy social life above your health and wish not to drink.

strong and tattoos so glad you're hanging on in there and still posting. The social stuff is tricky, isn't it?

Hello and KOKO to everyone else who I have missed and not namechecked.

I am still here and still sober. Had a frustrating day - some unexpected stuff cropped up, which means I am behind at work. I like to be methodical and dealing with the unexpected has always been tricky for me. Still, I did well. Had a miserable headache all afternoon and the kids were hot and tired and grumpy and our evening was pretty chaotic. They're in bed now. I'm just about to do next day of yoga and headspace and then see if I can get another couple of hours work in before bed.

glad2016 · 06/09/2016 20:38

Soon be time for Dry 15 thread. Whoever sets it up please leave a link to it, or we will have to follow cake crumbs :) :)

OP posts:
StrongTeaHotShower · 06/09/2016 20:55

I had a lovely evening (interspersed with relationship woes). It was so nice to be out even for a short time with a good friend. She started the evening talking about how hitting 30 meant she couldn't drink anything without a hangover anymore Smile. Perfect reason not to drink. We just ate our weight in sourdough pizza instead and talked and talked and talked.....

glad2016 · 06/09/2016 21:01

Sounds great strong really good evening.

OP posts:
efc1878 · 06/09/2016 21:09

Sounds like a fab evening strong

Lots of my friends doing dry September/October which is easier as I don't have to make a big deal of not drinking.

Sorry not to name check all moves so quick but hope those with relationship problems find some peace x

tattoosandteadresses · 06/09/2016 21:21

Awesome going strong, well done!! I'm glad you had a good time.

Hope you get all your work caught up one and a peaceful night.

Can't say I've been emotional at the start before Tapas but I'm usually not a very emotional person. I tend to get more stressed and short tempered instead for a few days Blush before it evens out.

chocoholic89 · 06/09/2016 21:26

Hello everyone, had a really crappy day so so tempted to drink but I never. I have done a little comfort eating had a nice bath and going to try relax. Hope I get decent sleep. Hate the night times sometimes as soon as I lay my head, my mind starts wondering off on things that get me down.
Sorry I am only putting things on about myself and not encouraging others just don't think I'm there yet. Selfish me trying to just load of my mind.

StrongTeaHotShower · 06/09/2016 21:33

choc not selfish at all. Post away and enjoy some AF treats. There's a solero in the freezer calling to me.

one i hope you're enjoying some headspace now.

Thanks tattoos I hope you're ok.

Thanks also glad and efc .October should be a bit easier for me too as I've got family off the booze for that one too.

lizzytee · 06/09/2016 21:34

New thread anyone? I believe the etiquette is to start one that's linked into the old one so no one goes unsupported....

lizzytee · 06/09/2016 21:36

Go on glad, you know you want to Wink

StrongTeaHotShower · 06/09/2016 21:40

Bagsy not me, I'm crap at computer stuff!

glad2016 · 06/09/2016 23:10

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?

OP posts:
glad2016 · 06/09/2016 23:12

😁😁😁

OP posts:
glad2016 · 06/09/2016 23:26

😀😀😀

OP posts:
LittleBear100 · 15/05/2017 08:52

Hi I'm new to mumsnet; I have now finally realised that I need to stop drinking I don't drink all week when I'm working but I do on a Friday and Saturday - I'm 44 years old and am in a happy relationship for the past 6 years and have a 14 year old son when I drink I don't know when to stop and I get in such a state that I don't want to go home it worries me and I have now realised it's having a bad effect on my son and partnet who I both love dearly as they worry about me and as my son said to his grandma he wants to fix mum - i dont understand why i do it and what triggers it off I am a lovely kind hard working person yet it's like I want to ruin everything when I drink - does anyone have any experience of this?

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