Anyone up? DH is leaving me follow up thread. Onit's on it!!

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Link to my last thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2658829-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me?msgid=62446916

I can't possibly tell him I'm ill.
Bare minimum is boiler, kids rooms,

Hey, lovely and brave onit, the boiler and kids rooms will need to be done - but not this very minute. Nothing is spoiling, at least till tomorrow when you will have more info. Just last out till then. Watch some silly telly or read a book. No need to engage with ex until you know more and feel better.

Have you called the dr yet lovely? You know the drill-that call is horrible to make but once you have you will feel better.
It's not a failing on your part to feel as you do, you know that.
You have tried to do it on your own without a lawyer because you are nice-and you believe that he is also nice, despite it all. It's hard to stop thinking of them like that. Absolutely fine to say to the lawyer lets go back to the beginning. You are well within your rights to do that.
But for now, today, call the dr, try and eat something.try and get some fresh air and try and rest.
I wish I was nearer onit.Im sending you virtual strength instead.

Hope you are okay onit.
Def see your GP you can get some gentle sleeping pills to help you through. Also phone Samaritans when you're really struggling and can't get hold of friends - I did when I had bad work stress and couldn't sleep/was in a bad year. It just helped to have someone to talk to (and my stress was over a silly ambiguous email from my boss - not a huge life shift like you're going through).
We are all here for you! Fuck that aggressive bastard - tell him to have some human decency and back the fuck off!
Or I'm quite happy to do it for you!

Onit, you're right to phone the dr. And I love the idea of you waking into a lawyers and saying - shall I tell you a story.

As for telling hubby your not well - I wouldn't. And if you can avoid meeting him till you've seen a lawyer and your dr that would be better as I th BM after you've seen both of these people you'll cope all the better with meeting LCB. You do know that he's not going to just let you meet to close the bank accounts - he'll be in you for other things.

When you see the lawyer tell them what your ex has already demanded, etc and see if they can start afresh to make sure you get the entitlement you should. Your children are his too and he can't not pay for them. He's a cruel twat to take money from them because you cut your cloth as per his agreement and has now gone back on it .

I need to phone the doctor at 8am for a same day appointment or wait 5 weeks to see the GP I'd like.
She's not in till Monday so that's not going to work anyway so I'll call in the morning to see who I can get.

I've eaten something. Actually wolfed down 2 sandwiches

Need to go and get the DC now.

Obviously thought I'd posted that earlier.

DC are about to have dinner. No baths tonight despite dd having paint in her hair. I just can't deal with the screaming match

I asked what he'd want to contribute to ds's birthday party and he said he'd pay half (if he was allowed to attend)
Like he wouldn't be welcome at his own sons party?

I honestly give up.

Is the party at your house? I was tempted to say, Do not let that man in your house, but actually, let him see it, & say this is why I have no mortgage. (the boiler, the roof, the kitchen)....refuse a cut in maintenance. Its until you return to work? he can afford it. HE OWES YOU THAT MUCH.
This pressure over money is getting to you. go to GP. (Do not tell him, he will use necessity of ADs it against you for child custody.)
Be strong just a bit longer, this is NORMAL, you have been so strong, there was bound to be a low point.... We are still here.
Do not be reasonable, or guilty about the car.
He has made his bed, he must lie in it

Well nothing bad will happen to them if they don't have a bath my love.
Big day tomorrow onit-call dr and the lawyer isn't it? Will be around for hand holding if needed-and thinking of you.
Hope you get some kip tonight.

Oh you poor little love.
Don't you worry about the crying. Tears are the healing for the hurt that's already been done to you.

Let them out. You will feel drained and sleepy afterwards. If you shake...shake some more hands and feet. Exaggerate it.

It's a normal healthy process.

It's Called re- evaluation counselling. I used to do it/ teach it.
It takes a lot of energy to hold that emotion in.
Your grieving. Grieving for your mum, the lovely marriage you had, the lovely family, the home

It's only right to take time out and let the grief out.
You will not die from it. You're not having a breakdown ...you're having a breakthrough and you are discharging very deep emotions.

Grief, anger fear, loss, sadness.
When you feel angry do something physical. Punch the bed ( rules are you aren't allowed to hurt yourself or others)

Break old crockery in the yard. Dh smashed up an old sideboard once.

It's all therapeutic

Got a decent sleep last night. Still shattered but a bit better.

Also AF showed up this morning I have the mirena. No periods for years. Might help explain the emotions of the last few days.

Got the docs after meeting LCB to close the joint account. Then lawyer then picking up new car.

Feeling a little stronger. Will see how I am after the bank.
The GP I'm seeing is not ideal. When I was very ill and they couldn't diagnose me, he was trying to say I had ME or CFS but in a way in which he was making it clear these were just fake illnesses He eventually sent me away with iron tablets saying if they didn't work then "I don't know what's wrong with you"
Let's just say I'm not convinced Hel be very open to my emotional issues. But I plan to ask for some counselling/talking therapy.
And I'll call again on Monday for an appointment with the nice GP who did my coil to discuss where to go with that. Not like I need contraception anymore.

Glad you got some sleep onit.
Best of luck with it all today-it's a lot but by this evening, all being well, you will have accomplished a great many things.
Don't be fobbed off by the dr! Forewarned is forearmed I guess.grrr some dr's could really do with a shake.

GP was ok. I said I didn't think I was depressed but could use someone to talk to.
He gave me a couple of numbers to call but no nhs funded counselling in my area.
Not sure I can afford it. Need to travel to city, either by bus or pay to park, and at least £40 an hour. That's £50 a week. Who has that kind of money??
Also prescribed something to help me sleep.

Closed the account this morning. I neither looked at or spoke to LCB. The account had just over £50 in which I took as it's essentially been my account for the last 2 months.
I've just received a text saying I can give him his half in cash or by transfer

Good thing you're seeing sol next then.

onit there's always Samaritans to talk. They'll listen to anyone and may be able to signpost you to an appropriate charity or subsidized service.

Can't believe he asked for half of that fifty quid. Fucking dickhead.

I have called the Samaritans before, not suicidal but just felt like I would absolutely pop or implode if I didn't talk to someone about all the shit in my life at that point. It was kind of helpful.

You know what Onit. That level of fuckwittery shows you have well and truly pissed your husband off with the fantastic job you've come up to now of dealing with this heartbreak. He really didn't see that coming. He's a complete and utter weed

Here's to a great meeting with the solicitor today.

God the LCB is a twat.

I mean, I am genuinely astonished and outraged that he descended to that.

If you were child free, then you can see this kind of petty spiteful behaviour coming all too easily to either party as you want to express your feelings and there is almost no reason NOT to ask for half the fifty quid. Even then, you would hope that both of you could rise above it and just get on with separating.

But with children in the mix, it is absolutely unforgiveable. Truly truly despicable. What does he think you would do with that £25? You can't even get your hair done. You would be

FEEDING

THE

CHILDREN

HEATING

THEIR

HOUSE

AND

CLOTHING

THEIR

BODIES

FOR

FUCKS

SAKE

He can wait for his £25, like his whole lifetime. Tosser

I've just read both your threads and have huge respect for you. Be proud, be very proud! You mentioned thyroid problems earlier. Make sure you get this checked every few months. As you know hypo thyroid can affect our moods. Or as you've lost so much weight you might be on too high a dose of thyroxine and that would affect sleep and mood too. Probably telling you stuff you know - you're onit after all! Keep going - it's his loss.

I've an idea. If we all transfered you £1.00 you should make £25.00 easily.

Then you go to the bank. Tell them you want £25.00 worth of pennies. Remove pennies from their bags. Pour pennies into an old jar preferably with the remains of the previous substance hand to LCB.

He can fuck off quite frankly the tight arsed twuntfuttock.

Onit, several private counselling practices here offer very affordable rates with newly qualified or trainee counsellors, or for people who can't afford full price. Like, £15/hour, in southeast England. I'm sure you can find some that do similar in your area, don't give up!

www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/low-cost-therapy-free-counselling-services.htm