Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

robots it wasn't you I was telling to keep Rule Three in mind, it was sparklesnpearls I think you've known your sports kitchen table widower not in the biblical sensefor quite a bit longer than she has known her man.

She wanted to be brought back down to earth so I slapped her with a wet fish upthread.
I'm going to leave her alone now, I can't keep raining on her parade.

Nowwhat YES! you have overestimated the level of interest, there are always more men than women on OLD sites, plus women still tend not to make the first move....that's a massive generalisation but it's certainly a factor, so the odds are definitely more in your favour. The men generally have to work harder than we do to generate interest, even if they are (on paper at least) a good catch!

ribenapet I'm in my 40s and have a pre-teen child. I always mention it in my profile. I can't say I've had much trouble with it, not had anyone going quiet on me when it's been mentioned...but having said that, it's rarely mentioned as it's in the profile .
Mind you, that doesn't guarantee that they will know we have children, in my experience with OLD men are generally rubbish at bothering to read profiles before getting in touch. They just look at the photos and dive straight in, so to speak. I get fed up answering questions that they'd know they answer to if they'd just take one minute to read the bloody thing.

I see I worded that last message badly. Despite being middle aged, that now looks like I chat to lots 'old men'. OLD= on line dating!

Oh, I forgot to say ribena the lack of likes back is nothing to worry about.
Most of the they just look and can't be bothered using the 'like' thing. I think everyone is very enthusiatic about using it when they are new, (I know I was) and then after a few weeks I just couldn't be bothered, I'd rather get a nice message from someone. Or send one. It's probably nothing to do with your children, or any one thing in particular.
In my 2-3 years of dabbling with OLD off and on, I've only ever had one 'like' back from someone I liked. And yet, when I got talking to a couple of them (after I plucked up the courage to send a message first) they turned out to be quite nice blokes who said they didn't bother messaging or 'liking' back because they thought I wouldn't be that interested once we got chatting...thought I was 'out of their league'

God knows why, I'm nothing special I can assure you! middle-aged, size 18, short ...I don't dislike my looks but I'm certainly not what I assume most men would class as 'out of their league'. Men, and online dating are just weird sometimes.

What do you guys think of people who don't fill in their profile?

Also can someone explain whatsapp to me? I don't have it and someone is asking to whatsapp me straight away, I don't get why you can't talk on the site. With whatsapp do they still have your phone number?

Whatsapp is Instant messaging but uses data and is quicker than text. It is a free app.

I havent bothered filling in my profile on Tinder I cant be arsed.

Thanks Nowwhat but do they still have your phone number to use whatsapp?

They do bigredcar, it goes off phone numbers the only difference to texting is that it's online so free pictures etc if there's no iMessage

Thanks I don't want to do that after 3 messages then

Can I join you for a mini rant about blokes who say they are only interested in women 5 - 10 years younger than them? I see a nice profile then see that I'm 'too old' even though I'm the same bloody age.

At my age I am better off, have more time and am a lot fitter and more interesting than I was 10 years ago when I was just about surviving.

If they want kids I can see why they would look for someone younger but lots of them say they don't.

Anyway, do you wise people recommend contacting them anyway? I feel like messaging them to tell them they are obviously incredibly shallow.

I wouldn't message someone if I was out of their chosen age range. If they think I'm too old then I'm better off without them.

Yup, I agree, I don't message anyone who think my age is 'too old' for them.

It does make me laugh ( and I say that sarcastically) at the amount of pot-bellied, comb over-sporting, beige-polyester-wearing, age 50-something men online who think I am 'too old' at 48, and say they are looking for someone 25-40. Snort, good luck with that then, mate

I have been tempted to message the odd one or two in the past, just to point this out, but have restrained myself on the grounds that it would just
make me look bitter. So, no to contacting them.

As for profiles with no info: Annoying. I tend to assume they are too lazy to fill it in or have something to hide ( uber-cynical)
If i get a message from one of them, I reply asking why they have not filled in their profile and I politely point out that as I have a photo and info on mine, I'd really prefer to talk to someone who has the same. Sometimes they are just very new, and literally havent had time to put anything up. Other times they give some waffle about 'not liking to write about themselves' or they say 'ask me what you want to know'.

This grates on me, I feel like saying ' I AM asking you. I'm asking you why you haven't filled in your profile, you idiot. Why on earth do you think I have ANY incentive to ask an invisible man anything? There are plenty of men with photos and full profiles, what makes you think any woman is going to waste time messaging someone she can't see and knows nothing about? Put some effort in, man!'

I have up that I've kids and it doesn't seem to have any negative effect.... Or maybe I'd get more attention if I didn't. Fuck it though, I prefer to have it out there.

Long distance is messaging loads. He's such a sweetheart.
Five years younger than me though..... And his ex wants him back, so that could scupper it.
She cheated though so don't think he'd have her back. But you never can know can you.
So trying very hard not to get invested.

Haha thewitches i know, I've literally just had this conversation with a guy. He said 'ask me anything', I said ' why is there nothing on your profile. I'm getting so many messages from men who either don't want to, or don't know how to have a conversation.

Seriously some of them really need to brush up there strategies! Not very impressed with any of my irons at the moment. One sounds like a nice guy but messages are short and factual and a bit like getting blood out of a stone. This other one who I've been chatting to for wks but sends lovely long messages is being so evasive about meeting I'm losing interest rapidly....

I have put that my main job is caring for my sn ds now cos i only really want to talk to people that don't mind that. I don't want to waste my time if they're going to run when they find out. I've also put no long distances, I just don't have time.

bigredcar what did he say when you asked him about his profile?

I am sooo with you on the conversation thing, what is wrong with people, that they can't hold a basic conversation in writing? I get bored with the short factual ones, you can't get any sense of their personality from them, can you? Blood out of a stone is right.
Shame the other one is evasive about meeting. It's too easy to over-invest when they want to chat for weeks, and then IF you finally meet it's so much more of a let-down if there is no spark. At least I learned that the hard way on my very first OLD date. 6 weeks of chatting online and when we finally met he was ten years older and fatter than his profile photo. And he had a funny eye.
And he spilt his drink on me within the first five minutes.
AND I lost my phone when I jumped up to avoid the wave of alcohol dripping into my lap.
Oh, how we laughed...

By the way, nothing wrong with people having a funny eye, I didn't mean it to sound the way it did. I have a slight disability myself so by no means obsessed with physical perfection in others. I was just very pissed off at the use of a deceitful photo.
I would absolutely have seen him again if we'd got on, funny eye or no funny eye...IF he hadn't lied about his age etc.

And good idea to put your main job as carer for your son. A friend of mine has recently done exactly the same and it doesn't seem to have had any negative effect on the levels of interest from the men.

Hi, can I join in here?

I'm mid 50's and have been single for ages, I'm on tinder and okc and, from the responses I get my profile is appealing, chatty, friendly etc. So why, when someone asks for my number or wants to whatsapp do I go quiet and freeze like a lunatic? I'm confident, friendly etc in rl, but get really nervous about talking on the phone. I realise that this is giving mixed messages but can't get over it. Just this weekend I've gone completely nc with two guys who seem really nice, just because they want to chat. And I even say in my profile that I don't want to text forever, I want to chat and meet up sooner rather than later.

Someone give me a slap please.

Haha thewitches that really made me laugh! The guy said about his no profile he was too complex to write in a few words. Then he wanted to whatsapp in the next message. I'm very up for meeting up and moving to phone sooner rather than later but not within a couple of exchanges. When I said to him, no I don't give my number to people I haven't chatted with yet, he said but you have chatted with me. Erm, no we exchanged 5 messages two of which are discussing this, I know literally nothing about you!

I decided to put I'm a carer cos I though that is literally my job and otherwise it looks like I just do nothing probably. Not sure if it's right or not I'm getting hundreds of sodding likes on the site but hardly any messages and hardly any mutual likes.

Whattodo I don't know...I'm not going to give out my number quickly again. Not so much because of a safety issue but with this guy I just had a thing with it made us too familiar before we'd met and properly sussed each other out, we became quite over invested too quickly

Hi can I join too?

9 months out of a 14 year old relationship, which wasn't my decision to end.
I'm only 31 and we were childhood sweethearts so I've never done this dating game

Had a first date on Thursday which went really well, he asked me for a second date but the day after he was going on holiday for a week and I'm away the following week.

What should I do in regards contacting him now, wait until he contacts me, or should I contact him before I go on holiday about the second date???

I am aware that might sound pathetic but I am absolutely clueless!

It does make me laugh ( and I say that sarcastically) at the amount of pot-bellied, comb over-sporting, beige-polyester-wearing, age 50-something men online who think I am 'too old' at 48, and say they are looking for someone 25-40. Snort, good luck with that then, mate.

Brilliant! Couldnt have put it better myself Witches - the feckin cheek!

Im still not 'live' on Tinder or okc. I dont know why Im hesitating. I just remember doing OLD years ago and being highly stressed by it.

Has anyone seen the article on Motherboard about OLD? Very depressing. Apparently, the vast majority dont take it seriously and look at it as a distraction and entertainment.

motherboard.vice.com/read/research-confirms-dating-apps-tinder-grindr-happn-bumble-are-a-sad-game

girlintheriver just keep in touch and arrange to meet when youre both back. Youll have lots to talk about at least!